Social Anxiety Support

rubyruby · 09-28-2009, 07:26 AM

I was just wondering what everyone else does to deal with SA.

I have taken medication, tried CBT with some success, tried to accept that this is the way it is.

I am curious what other people my age have done.

TreeFrog · 09-28-2009, 11:26 AM

I'm afraid I'm not much help bc I haven't done much.

I realized I had SA about 10 yrs ago but I did not do anything about it bc mine is very situational-and I changed my situation to where I was insulated from feeling the extreme effects of it. So what I did to cope was AVOID anxiety inducing situations.

This went on to the point where I convinced myself I didn't really have it anymore. Then I went to law school (really in denial) and my SA went into complete overdrive. It was the worst time of my life barring some incidents in childhood. That's when I found this site. I went to therapy at school for about 3 mths and I don't think the guy really understood SA-so it was frustrating. Yet it did keep me from going over the edge bc I could talk about it.

I have never taken meds and would like not to, but am considering taking some supplements. There are so many I don't know which...

I made a call to another therapist and am waiting for a call back.

How was your experience with CBT? I wish I could try that. There is a group that meets an hour and a half away that I am considering.

rubyruby · 09-28-2009, 12:11 PM

I am going to be tapering off my medication soon after many years so I have been dusting off my CBT tapes and books.

I have had some success with it and I really believe that people have been able to get their SA under control with CBT. I think you almost have to immerse yourself in it so much so that you could almost teach a course in it.
I did really get into it years ago - but I had a set back and sort of gave up.

But through the years from talking to people I think that CBT does work - but you have to try really hard and keep practicing, practicing.

Anachiel · 09-29-2009, 06:31 AM

Your right rubyruby thats the key with CBT - plenty of consistent practise, something most of us don't usually get around to doing or don't allocate time for. I did CBT years ago and while I was doing it it worked. But then when I was told I didn't need to come to therapy anymore I wasn't as consistent with it, just didn't feel like I had that "personal trainer" with me anymore to motivate me. Then I let other things take priority again. Now Im on Zoloft, something I never thought Id ever resort to, but not just taking it for SA but also for other stress related situations that increased in my life. Hopefully I wont be on it forever but it has helped me cope with stress and (SA mildly). In a couple of weeks I have to face a one off presentation so Im in the process of trying a beta blocker to help with the SA symptoms on this day, otherwise if I wasn't on anything I don't think any amount of CBT would help with this one. I do however feel very positive though, I guess that comes from being on Zoloft.

FishingWithLoki · 09-29-2009, 07:44 AM

I haven't done a lot other than to work around it as much as possible.

For example, I pursue jobs that allow me to work as independently as possible.

I haven't found a strategy for friendship. Although I envy those with good friends, and I do secretly yearn for meaningful friendships, I fill my time with activities that distract me from thinking about the subject. You see, other than one person that I've known for over twenty-years (who I communicate with on occasion via e-mail (we are about 2000 miles apart)), I don't have any friends; I have friendly acquaintances that I see only in context of a job, or online (in forums like this), or the baristas at the coffee place to which I wend each day).

I have a horrible, lifelong phobia of doctors, therapists, counselors, dentists, etc., so I've had no therapy/treatment for my SA (other than about two months many years ago where stresses at work drove me to the point where I needed to get a note from a doc). I've never been on prescribed meds for SA, but that doesn't mean I haven't self-medicated.

I guess, to summarize, I've simply dealt with the SA by distracting myself from thinking about it. I don't recommend this to anyone, but its a survival strategy that has kept me functional when I could have been wallowing in despair.

epril · 09-29-2009, 12:38 PM

Years of counseling, several different meds, perseverance, overeating, working at menial jobs that don't require much thinking or communication.

I'm sad that I am not accomplished at anything. Pooh. And I'm not getting any younger, or more social. I act as if as much as I can without combusting.

FishingWithLoki · 09-29-2009, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by epril

Years of counseling, several different meds, perseverance, overeating, working at menial jobs that don't require much thinking or communication.

I'm sad that I am not accomplished at anything. Pooh. And I'm not getting any younger, or more social. I act as if as much as I can without combusting.

Oh yeah, I forgot the overeating. A big 'me too' here! I've struggled forever with this. Blah.

Atticus · 09-29-2009, 07:43 PM

I've arranged an apparently decent life for myself through avoidance, facing some issues out of necessity, and a little bit of CBT mostly on my own. I say apparently, because I find myself pretty disenchanted playing Faust. Seems someone stole most of my life, or more accurately, I sold it cheap.

But being hopelessly.......I'm not sure what, maybe hopelessly disgusted with surrender, I've started therapy recently. So far, I guess I'm reliving my dramatic period, judging by this post. But actually, I may be ready to make some progress. My therapist is OK, calls me on my most blatant BS, pushes me to set some goals and refuses to tell me exactly what to do. I think I'm supposed to figure that out on my own, and I'm figuring.

kpiper0101 · 09-29-2009, 10:10 PM

I've used avoidance mostly, and have forced myself to face only what I've had to to survive or to obtain those things that I most wanted in life . . . I haven't truly wanted much thankfully. I would be okay with my life if it weren't for the fact that other people are reliant on me, and I feel that they deserve more.

TRENNER · 09-29-2009, 11:55 PM

My condition has gotten better over the years, so I am pretty functional now. Having a good therapist in the early 90's really helped. Also. just persevering has made a difference. However, I still feel the anxiety sometimes--particularly with authority figures and with public speaking. I also know I could have accomplished so much more without the condition.

Toad Licker · 09-30-2009, 09:40 PM

I haven't really been coping well with my SA, until recently I really haven't even been dealing with it at all. I've been trying to get out more when the opportunity arises but it still doesn't happen very often with no friends and after being cooped up for so long no idea of what the hell to even get out of the house and go do.

FishingWithLoki · 10-01-2009, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atticus

....Seems someone stole most of my life, or more accurately, I sold it cheap....

This is the same kind of thinking I put myself through. I feel as though I've wasted the better part of a life that could have been so much richer (especially as regards experience, but also in terms of my career options).

And then I start down the doom and gloom path...It's too late to make any significant change; those decisions should have happened ten years ago or more. Then I tune everything out and shortly the introspection turns to anxiety. Then the insomnia - which heightens the anxiety - and so on... Gawd, what a mess.

blah...

facade · 10-02-2009, 05:21 AM

Avoidence is one of the things i have done. Try to stay away from any and every situatution that makes me uncomfortable. Years and years of therapy, just recently changed therapists and I seem to be making some progress. I did join this forum which took 1/2 hour of staring at the "introduction page" having huge anxiety but I did it

. Did try some rapid eye movement therapy but only alittle my ins refused to cover it.

09-28-2009, 07:26 AM	#1 (permalink)
rubyruby Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 59	What have other crickets done to cope with SA throughout the years I was just wondering what everyone else does to deal with SA. I have taken medication, tried CBT with some success, tried to accept that this is the way it is. I am curious what other people my age have done.

09-28-2009, 11:26 AM	#2 (permalink)
TreeFrog Status: Hides it Well but... Join Date: Oct 2007 Gender: Female Age: 38 Posts: 221	I'm afraid I'm not much help bc I haven't done much. I realized I had SA about 10 yrs ago but I did not do anything about it bc mine is very situational-and I changed my situation to where I was insulated from feeling the extreme effects of it. So what I did to cope was AVOID anxiety inducing situations. This went on to the point where I convinced myself I didn't really have it anymore. Then I went to law school (really in denial) and my SA went into complete overdrive. It was the worst time of my life barring some incidents in childhood. That's when I found this site. I went to therapy at school for about 3 mths and I don't think the guy really understood SA-so it was frustrating. Yet it did keep me from going over the edge bc I could talk about it. I have never taken meds and would like not to, but am considering taking some supplements. There are so many I don't know which... I made a call to another therapist and am waiting for a call back. How was your experience with CBT? I wish I could try that. There is a group that meets an hour and a half away that I am considering. __________________ I know I can't be the only "Whatever I Am" in the room. Ani DiFranco

09-29-2009, 06:31 AM	#4 (permalink)
Anachiel Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 249	Your right rubyruby thats the key with CBT - plenty of consistent practise, something most of us don't usually get around to doing or don't allocate time for. I did CBT years ago and while I was doing it it worked. But then when I was told I didn't need to come to therapy anymore I wasn't as consistent with it, just didn't feel like I had that "personal trainer" with me anymore to motivate me. Then I let other things take priority again. Now Im on Zoloft, something I never thought Id ever resort to, but not just taking it for SA but also for other stress related situations that increased in my life. Hopefully I wont be on it forever but it has helped me cope with stress and (SA mildly). In a couple of weeks I have to face a one off presentation so Im in the process of trying a beta blocker to help with the SA symptoms on this day, otherwise if I wasn't on anything I don't think any amount of CBT would help with this one. I do however feel very positive though, I guess that comes from being on Zoloft. __________________ Puss in Boots is my hero

09-29-2009, 07:44 AM	#5 (permalink)
FishingWithLoki Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Seattle, WA Gender: Male Age: 45 Posts: 30	I haven't done a lot other than to work around it as much as possible. For example, I pursue jobs that allow me to work as independently as possible. I haven't found a strategy for friendship. Although I envy those with good friends, and I do secretly yearn for meaningful friendships, I fill my time with activities that distract me from thinking about the subject. You see, other than one person that I've known for over twenty-years (who I communicate with on occasion via e-mail (we are about 2000 miles apart)), I don't have any friends; I have friendly acquaintances that I see only in context of a job, or online (in forums like this), or the baristas at the coffee place to which I wend each day). I have a horrible, lifelong phobia of doctors, therapists, counselors, dentists, etc., so I've had no therapy/treatment for my SA (other than about two months many years ago where stresses at work drove me to the point where I needed to get a note from a doc). I've never been on prescribed meds for SA, but that doesn't mean I haven't self-medicated. I guess, to summarize, I've simply dealt with the SA by distracting myself from thinking about it. I don't recommend this to anyone, but its a survival strategy that has kept me functional when I could have been wallowing in despair. __________________ - Fishing with Loki "Well, do you ever get the feeling that the story's too damn real and in the present tense? Or that everybody's on the stage, and it seems like you're the only person sitting in the audience?"

09-29-2009, 07:43 PM	#8 (permalink)
Atticus Status: under a sheltering sky Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: St. Louis Age: 52 Posts: 3,531	I've arranged an apparently decent life for myself through avoidance, facing some issues out of necessity, and a little bit of CBT mostly on my own. I say apparently, because I find myself pretty disenchanted playing Faust. Seems someone stole most of my life, or more accurately, I sold it cheap. But being hopelessly.......I'm not sure what, maybe hopelessly disgusted with surrender, I've started therapy recently. So far, I guess I'm reliving my dramatic period, judging by this post. But actually, I may be ready to make some progress. My therapist is OK, calls me on my most blatant BS, pushes me to set some goals and refuses to tell me exactly what to do. I think I'm supposed to figure that out on my own, and I'm figuring. __________________ Basically I'm just gonna walk the earth. ....You know, like Caine in Kung Fu - walk from place to place, meet people, get in adventures." Jules after his epiphany

09-28-2009, 12:11 PM	#3 (permalink)
rubyruby Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 59	I am going to be tapering off my medication soon after many years so I have been dusting off my CBT tapes and books. I have had some success with it and I really believe that people have been able to get their SA under control with CBT. I think you almost have to immerse yourself in it so much so that you could almost teach a course in it. I did really get into it years ago - but I had a set back and sort of gave up. But through the years from talking to people I think that CBT does work - but you have to try really hard and keep practicing, practicing.

09-29-2009, 12:38 PM	#6 (permalink)
epril Status: sa challenger Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: arizona Gender: Female Age: 45 Posts: 2,646	Years of counseling, several different meds, perseverance, overeating, working at menial jobs that don't require much thinking or communication. I'm sad that I am not accomplished at anything. Pooh. And I'm not getting any younger, or more social. I act as if as much as I can without combusting.

09-29-2009, 10:10 PM	#9 (permalink)
kpiper0101 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Eugene, OR Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 354	I've used avoidance mostly, and have forced myself to face only what I've had to to survive or to obtain those things that I most wanted in life . . . I haven't truly wanted much thankfully. I would be okay with my life if it weren't for the fact that other people are reliant on me, and I feel that they deserve more.

09-29-2009, 11:55 PM	#10 (permalink)
TRENNER Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: New York, NY Gender: Male Age: 46 Posts: 33	My condition has gotten better over the years, so I am pretty functional now. Having a good therapist in the early 90's really helped. Also. just persevering has made a difference. However, I still feel the anxiety sometimes--particularly with authority figures and with public speaking. I also know I could have accomplished so much more without the condition.

09-30-2009, 09:40 PM	#11 (permalink)
Toad Licker Status: Broken Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: A Fruitloop Daydream Gender: Male Age: 44 Posts: 29,594	I haven't really been coping well with my SA, until recently I really haven't even been dealing with it at all. I've been trying to get out more when the opportunity arises but it still doesn't happen very often with no friends and after being cooped up for so long no idea of what the hell to even get out of the house and go do. __________________ All will wither, go to sleep The ones you love you may not keep All you touch will fall apart The dreams you kill will break your heart There's no mercy, there's no rest The void will scream within your chest No one knows and no one will So leave this place that makes you Ill - Madder Mortem

10-02-2009, 05:21 AM	#13 (permalink)
facade Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: planet earth Gender: Female Posts: 17	Avoidence is one of the things i have done. Try to stay away from any and every situatution that makes me uncomfortable. Years and years of therapy, just recently changed therapists and I seem to be making some progress. I did join this forum which took 1/2 hour of staring at the "introduction page" having huge anxiety but I did it . Did try some rapid eye movement therapy but only alittle my ins refused to cover it.