Social Anxiety Support

lovemybully · 02-09-2009, 04:14 PM

oh my god! my company started letting people go today due to the bad economy. they will be getting rid of people for the rest of the week. i've been working there since 1987. that's 22 years of not having to go on a job interview. that's the first thing i thought of when i heard what was going on.
i didn't think of the people that lost their jobs, or my mortage, or my health insurance. i just thought of the dread of going on a job interview. i'm such not a people person. and i get ultra nervous in situations like that. okay i get kind of close to having a heart or a seizure of some sort. i hope this turns out to be a bad experience and i'm not actually laid off. i'm already having panic attacks about interviews and first day on the job.

i thought SAD was hard on teens b/c it gets in the way of their social life but i guess it does not get any better. even when you learn to deal with it and somewhat accomodate it in your life it still rears it's ugly head.

power2theweak · 02-09-2009, 05:05 PM

I'm so sorry to hear that. So many people are losing their jobs these days, and it is so sad. Job interviews are very scary for me as well. I wish you the best of luck!

kpiper0101 · 02-09-2009, 05:25 PM

I totally know your pain. I would keep a job no matter how hated to avoid interviewing and starting a new job. I lost my job awhile back after 13 years. When they handed me the envelope, I knew it wasn't a Christmas card. My heart just sank, and I had to instantaneously run to the bathroom. I've always been amazed how fast the message gets from my brain to my gut! :o] I think I dread looking for work more than anything. It takes me like a year to get semi-comfortable somewhere too if I'm ever able to find someone willing to hire me. I'm glad I found this board though because I'll use it for support when going on interviews and starting a new job if I ever get one. Let us know what happens, and ask for prayers if it's the worst. At least you won't be alone in spirit. I know the horror of it, you have my utmost sympathies.

Atticus · 02-10-2009, 07:37 AM

That is a scary situation. I hope it turns out to be a false alarm.

solasum · 02-10-2009, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovemybully

i thought SAD was hard on teens b/c it gets in the way of their social life but i guess it does not get any better. even when you learn to deal with it and somewhat accomodate it in your life it still rears it's ugly head.

I'm scared. Maybe if I move to a third world country, I can live longer in isolation with the little money I have now without having to work.

lovemybully · 02-11-2009, 05:34 PM

sol,
it is scarey. it's okay to be scared; most of us have no choice. it's not okay to let it run your life. you can't hide from it.

the update at work is they will continue to let people go through the end of the week and then they will re-evaluate more layoffs in six months. a slow and painful death for me.

besides the job interview and the first day on the job anxiety, now i have a new one. the packing up my desk fear. we have an open space layout in our office and i'm dreading having to pack my stuff in front of everyone. all eyes will be on me and i hate that more than anything. that's why i don't let my co-workers know when my birthday is (so i don't have to endure the cake and them gathering around my desk). i dread being the center of any attention since i was a young child.

oh well, keep your spirits up!

Maslow · 02-11-2009, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovemybully

we have an open space layout in our office and i'm dreading having to pack my stuff in front of everyone. all eyes will be on me and i hate that more than anything. that's why i don't let my co-workers know when my birthday is (so i don't have to endure the cake and them gathering around my desk). i dread being the center of any attention since i was a young child.

That open space environment is the worst for someone with SAD. I never did get used to working in an office with a bunch of other people. Since I've been freelancing from home my life has improved tremendously. I only have to deal with people over the phone except for an occasional in person meeting.

One suggestion... Ask your doctor for a prescription for beta-blockers. Take one when you know you're going to be in an anxiety provoking situation. They really do work.

christ~in~me · 02-12-2009, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovemybully

i've been working there since 1987.

you've been there a long time,have other people been there longer? i would think they would lay off newer people,if you've been there for 22 years im sure you would be one of the best they have and they would'nt lay you off.

OliverPilon · 02-22-2009, 01:05 PM

the only thing is, theres the "time youve been working there factor", but theres
also the fact that sometimes its people with people's skills that charm they way to good jobs and gets to keep them - and not necessarily because of the time youve been there or purely on performance factor.

Altough with the struggling economy, i imagine bosses look at individual performances more than they used to in the past..

lovemybully · 02-22-2009, 04:33 PM

i don't know oliver, i think there is a terrible abuse of power in biz today. think bosses will take a personable kiss-*** over a better performer. the update is that my company is done with layoffs for now; however, they will resume in May.

you bring up a good point about how we are judged based on personality. this can really hurt us in the workplace since we can come accross as not having one.

dax · 02-22-2009, 05:01 PM

I might be looking at the prospect of job hunting soon and interviews have never really scared me for some reason, I can usually be pretty good when I'm trying to totally lie and sell myself lol. But what scares me is meeting all the new people and being the new guy for the first month. Ugh that makes me really anxious.

Can I ask what industry you're in?

dax · 02-22-2009, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by solasum

I'm scared. Maybe if I move to a third world country, I can live longer in isolation with the little money I have now without having to work.

Wow- it's weird I have thought similar things in the past...

mypasswordneverworks · 02-22-2009, 08:21 PM

I hate them. They're so fake. It's not based on what you've done or how good you are (both of which can be seen on your resume & via references that actually KNOW your work)--it's about how much you can sell yourself with fake bull**** in a people-person way. Seriously, the better you can just bull crap out of your ***, the better off you'll be.

*this is for "real" interviews in the corporate world (not retail and such).*

/bitter

lovemybully · 02-23-2009, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dax

Can I ask what industry you're in?

i'm in International Trade.

dax · 02-23-2009, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovemybully

i'm in International Trade.

I minored in international business hoping to get into something like that...seems impossible to get into...but interesting. You don't like it?

mypasswordneverworks · 02-23-2009, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovemybully

i think there is a terrible abuse of power in biz today. think bosses will take a personable kiss-*** over a better performer.

Yes, this is true unfortunately. i too would like to know how you got into it?

lovemybully · 02-25-2009, 02:43 AM

22 years ago thing were different. i went to a job agency and they sent me for an interview. i go the job and i did not even know what kind of biz it was.

i don't particularly like it. it's just a paycheck. you don't have to have any particular talent, knowledge, or passion to do this work; and, your labor does nothing but put money in the pocket of the owner (in my case a huge japanese corporation, although my company is incorporated in the USA). i think importing is hurting our country big-time. if i was in charge i shut down the ports immediately.

zapapop · 03-08-2009, 02:07 PM

I'm in the same situation with the economy and after all these years I'm going back to school. I'm really dreading it. If I have to do any type of speeches or just read out loud after all these years away from school - well, we'll see - maybe now that I'm older it'll be better. Maybe I won't care quite as much what people think. I hope so at least.

lovemybully · 08-30-2009, 03:35 AM

this is an old thread.

update: my company continued to lay off people since i posted this. i was in the last group they let go. my last day after 22 years is october 16. my whole department will be gone that day. they are moving our jobs to Boise. we were offered relocation packages but i took the severance. you know it's not easy to move and leave the FEW people that you have with very little prospects of making friends. not that i have any friends here after living here all my life; but, i have a little family.

anyway, i think the fear of being laid off was more overwhelming than the actual prospect. they told us three weeks ago and i had a rough first four days. then i sort of got used to the idea.

i will keep fellow crikets updated when i get around to my first job interview. it will be a while yet. unemployment in jersey runs close to two years and i get one year's severance pay.

keep your heads up! don't let it get you down.

epril · 09-01-2009, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovemybully

this is an old thread.

update: my company continued to lay off people since i posted this. i was in the last group they let go. my last day after 22 years is october 16. my whole department will be gone that day. they are moving our jobs to Boise. we were offered relocation packages but i took the severance. you know it's not easy to move and leave the FEW people that you have with very little prospects of making friends. not that i have any friends here after living here all my life; but, i have a little family.

anyway, i think the fear of being laid off was more overwhelming than the actual prospect. they told us three weeks ago and i had a rough first four days. then i sort of got used to the idea.

i will keep fellow crikets updated when i get around to my first job interview. it will be a while yet. unemployment in jersey runs close to two years and i get one year's severance pay.

keep your heads up! don't let it get you down.

I wish you luck

02-09-2009, 04:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
lovemybully Status: Pitbulls are pure love! Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Jersey Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 23	job interview??? oh my god! my company started letting people go today due to the bad economy. they will be getting rid of people for the rest of the week. i've been working there since 1987. that's 22 years of not having to go on a job interview. that's the first thing i thought of when i heard what was going on. i didn't think of the people that lost their jobs, or my mortage, or my health insurance. i just thought of the dread of going on a job interview. i'm such not a people person. and i get ultra nervous in situations like that. okay i get kind of close to having a heart or a seizure of some sort. i hope this turns out to be a bad experience and i'm not actually laid off. i'm already having panic attacks about interviews and first day on the job. i thought SAD was hard on teens b/c it gets in the way of their social life but i guess it does not get any better. even when you learn to deal with it and somewhat accomodate it in your life it still rears it's ugly head.

02-09-2009, 05:05 PM	#2 (permalink)
power2theweak Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 251	I'm so sorry to hear that. So many people are losing their jobs these days, and it is so sad. Job interviews are very scary for me as well. I wish you the best of luck! __________________ To all of the friends that I've made here: please keep in touch! Send me an email from time to time! I wish you all the best!

02-10-2009, 07:37 AM	#4 (permalink)
Atticus Status: under a sheltering sky Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: St. Louis Age: 52 Posts: 3,531	That is a scary situation. I hope it turns out to be a false alarm. __________________ Basically I'm just gonna walk the earth. ....You know, like Caine in Kung Fu - walk from place to place, meet people, get in adventures." Jules after his epiphany

02-22-2009, 05:01 PM	#11 (permalink)
dax Status: Losing Ground Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Boston Gender: Male Posts: 2,237	I might be looking at the prospect of job hunting soon and interviews have never really scared me for some reason, I can usually be pretty good when I'm trying to totally lie and sell myself lol. But what scares me is meeting all the new people and being the new guy for the first month. Ugh that makes me really anxious. Can I ask what industry you're in? __________________ My Youtube Page I just don't fit in this place Their thoughts cast me out of here Their home has run out of space My mind's already out of here Won't you come along dear? Won't you come along?

02-22-2009, 08:21 PM	#13 (permalink)
mypasswordneverworks Status: SAS Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: USA Gender: Female Posts: 248	I hate them. They're so fake. It's not based on what you've done or how good you are (both of which can be seen on your resume & via references that actually KNOW your work)--it's about how much you can sell yourself with fake bull** in a people-person way. Seriously, the better you can just bull crap out of your , the better off you'll be. this is for "real" interviews in the corporate world (not retail and such).* /bitter __________________ "One's level of confidence is assumed to indicate their level of ability, but a high level of confidence can also be related to one's level of ignorance."

02-09-2009, 05:25 PM	#3 (permalink)
kpiper0101 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Eugene, OR Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 355	I totally know your pain. I would keep a job no matter how hated to avoid interviewing and starting a new job. I lost my job awhile back after 13 years. When they handed me the envelope, I knew it wasn't a Christmas card. My heart just sank, and I had to instantaneously run to the bathroom. I've always been amazed how fast the message gets from my brain to my gut! :o] I think I dread looking for work more than anything. It takes me like a year to get semi-comfortable somewhere too if I'm ever able to find someone willing to hire me. I'm glad I found this board though because I'll use it for support when going on interviews and starting a new job if I ever get one. Let us know what happens, and ask for prayers if it's the worst. At least you won't be alone in spirit. I know the horror of it, you have my utmost sympathies.

02-11-2009, 05:34 PM	#6 (permalink)
lovemybully Status: Pitbulls are pure love! Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Jersey Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 23	sol, it is scarey. it's okay to be scared; most of us have no choice. it's not okay to let it run your life. you can't hide from it. the update at work is they will continue to let people go through the end of the week and then they will re-evaluate more layoffs in six months. a slow and painful death for me. besides the job interview and the first day on the job anxiety, now i have a new one. the packing up my desk fear. we have an open space layout in our office and i'm dreading having to pack my stuff in front of everyone. all eyes will be on me and i hate that more than anything. that's why i don't let my co-workers know when my birthday is (so i don't have to endure the cake and them gathering around my desk). i dread being the center of any attention since i was a young child. oh well, keep your spirits up!

02-22-2009, 01:05 PM	#9 (permalink)
OliverPilon Status: social anxiety sucks Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Canada Gender: Male Age: 29 Posts: 16	the only thing is, theres the "time youve been working there factor", but theres also the fact that sometimes its people with people's skills that charm they way to good jobs and gets to keep them - and not necessarily because of the time youve been there or purely on performance factor. Altough with the struggling economy, i imagine bosses look at individual performances more than they used to in the past..

02-22-2009, 04:33 PM	#10 (permalink)
lovemybully Status: Pitbulls are pure love! Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Jersey Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 23	i don't know oliver, i think there is a terrible abuse of power in biz today. think bosses will take a personable kiss-*** over a better performer. the update is that my company is done with layoffs for now; however, they will resume in May. you bring up a good point about how we are judged based on personality. this can really hurt us in the workplace since we can come accross as not having one.

02-25-2009, 02:43 AM	#17 (permalink)
lovemybully Status: Pitbulls are pure love! Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Jersey Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 23	22 years ago thing were different. i went to a job agency and they sent me for an interview. i go the job and i did not even know what kind of biz it was. i don't particularly like it. it's just a paycheck. you don't have to have any particular talent, knowledge, or passion to do this work; and, your labor does nothing but put money in the pocket of the owner (in my case a huge japanese corporation, although my company is incorporated in the USA). i think importing is hurting our country big-time. if i was in charge i shut down the ports immediately.

03-08-2009, 02:07 PM	#18 (permalink)
zapapop Status: SAS Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: louisiana Gender: Male Posts: 25	I'm in the same situation with the economy and after all these years I'm going back to school. I'm really dreading it. If I have to do any type of speeches or just read out loud after all these years away from school - well, we'll see - maybe now that I'm older it'll be better. Maybe I won't care quite as much what people think. I hope so at least.

08-30-2009, 03:35 AM	#19 (permalink)
lovemybully Status: Pitbulls are pure love! Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Jersey Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 23	job update this is an old thread. update: my company continued to lay off people since i posted this. i was in the last group they let go. my last day after 22 years is october 16. my whole department will be gone that day. they are moving our jobs to Boise. we were offered relocation packages but i took the severance. you know it's not easy to move and leave the FEW people that you have with very little prospects of making friends. not that i have any friends here after living here all my life; but, i have a little family. anyway, i think the fear of being laid off was more overwhelming than the actual prospect. they told us three weeks ago and i had a rough first four days. then i sort of got used to the idea. i will keep fellow crikets updated when i get around to my first job interview. it will be a while yet. unemployment in jersey runs close to two years and i get one year's severance pay. keep your heads up! don't let it get you down.