Is anyone else comfortable with some people in some situations but not others?

[kpiper0101]

Does anyone else have a problem with familiar people in unfamiliar situations? My daughter has been going to preschool, and a mother of one of the other kids invited us to her house for her daughter's birthday on Saturday. I really like this woman. She's super easy going and funny, and I've talked to her for a half hour or more on several occasions when I go to pick my daughter up, but the thought of going to her house is making me ill. The people pleaser in me said "yes" of course because I was on the spot, otherwise I would have come up with an excuse. I'm secretly hoping one of the kids gets sick. It's wierd to me that I can be so comfortable with someone in one situation, but totally not in another situation. Wondering if that's true for a lot of people or is it just me??

[patricia]

not exactly the same as u but im going 2 see my friends that iv not seen in a long time and im totally terrified il make a right fool of my self its terrible 2 think im nervous and anxious around my own friends not sure if its 2 do with it been so long since iv seen them sounds crazy i know i feel like the only one in the world that is nervous over this particular thing will there be other mums at this ladys house maybe thats why u feel anxious

[Amelia]

Yes, I know what you mean. Even if I'm with people I generally feel comfortable with, I'm not comfortable if there are lots of people around.

[epril]

Originally Posted by kpiper0101

Does anyone else have a problem with familiar people in unfamiliar situations? My daughter has been going to preschool, and a mother of one of the other kids invited us to her house for her daughter's birthday on Saturday. I really like this woman. She's super easy going and funny, and I've talked to her for a half hour or more on several occasions when I go to pick my daughter up, but the thought of going to her house is making me ill. The people pleaser in me said "yes" of course because I was on the spot, otherwise I would have come up with an excuse. I'm secretly hoping one of the kids gets sick. It's wierd to me that I can be so comfortable with someone in one situation, but totally not in another situation. Wondering if that's true for a lot of people or is it just me??

I've been nervous about meeting people in unfamiliar settings too. I'd be pretty uncomfortable, but I'd push myself to go for my and my daughter's sake.

[kpiper0101]

Originally Posted by epril

I've been nervous about meeting people in unfamiliar settings too. I'd be pretty uncomfortable, but I'd push myself to go for my and my daughter's sake.

I feel like I have to for my daughter's sake, bad as I hate to. She's such a socialite though, I know she'll abandon me, and I'll be left alone to try to pass myself off as semi-normal with the adult people. I wish I had the kind of kid that clung to my leg in fear so at least I wouldn't be left to fend for myself. I'm trying to convince my son to go only because I think he would feel awkward, and I'd have someone there to share my pain. I'm considering paying him to go -- I wonder what the going rate is for forcing a nine-year-old boy to go to a "princess party"? :O)

[epril]

Originally Posted by kpiper0101

I feel like I have to for my daughter's sake, bad as I hate to. She's such a socialite though, I know she'll abandon me, and I'll be left alone to try to pass myself off as semi-normal with the adult people. I wish I had the kind of kid that clung to my leg in fear so at least I wouldn't be left to fend for myself. I'm trying to convince my son to go only because I think he would feel awkward, and I'd have someone there to share my pain. I'm considering paying him to go -- I wonder what the going rate is for forcing a nine-year-old boy to go to a "princess party"? :O)

If you go it'd be a good opportunity to get to know the other moms. Believe me I would be nervous too, but I try not to dwell on what if's. There will likely be other moms who are nervous too. I think I'd leave the boy home though

[Atticus]

I find this happens to me, also. I remember being quite comfortable with some of the other dad's when my son played sports. We talked and joked around and I felt OK because there was a context, the game or event, which I knew things about and could comment on. When there was a post-season party, or some other invite to something outside that context, I almost always stayed away.

[andreakay]

I can relate to that. I'm ok around certain people sometimes, but it depends on the situation and who else is there. If my partner is there, I can generally manage, although I feel like everyone is staring at me (even though I know they aren't). I'm usually ok at church, but there is a scrapbooking group of about 5 women from church that I tried participating in. I couldn't stay because I just couldn't manage to do anything or say anything. I was completely frozen. I ended up saying I had a stomachache and leaving.

[facade]

I can definately identify with this. I do feel alittle better if my partner is there but if there are lots of people or noise get real anxious or spacey.

kpiper0101 hope you do go the party cuz your doing it for your daughter and also after you can look back and realize you also are doin it for yourself. Good luck

[andreakay]

Originally Posted by facade

I can definately identify with this. I do feel alittle better if my partner is there but if there are lots of people or noise get real anxious or spacey.

I'm so glad you said that (about being spacey), because I do that a lot and I never realized that it was a coping mechanism for me until recently. In a large crowd or when there is a lot of noise, I just shut down, and then I have people asking me "where I am" or what I'm thinking about. Sometimes it's just easier to kind of check out of the environment, you know?

[epril]

Originally Posted by andreakay

I'm so glad you said that (about being spacey), because I do that a lot and I never realized that it was a coping mechanism for me until recently. In a large crowd or when there is a lot of noise, I just shut down, and then I have people asking me "where I am" or what I'm thinking about. Sometimes it's just easier to kind of check out of the environment, you know?

I automatically do the same thing.