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If someone attractive asked you out would you say no?

5K views 77 replies 61 participants last post by  AntiSocialGuy 
#1 ·
I've been single for a over decade now and I guess this is largely because girls don't find me very attractive which is fair enough. But if someone I liked did ask me out I'm 99% sure I'd turn them down because I don't think I'd make a very good partner. I'd be too afraid of letting them down so instead of opening myself up to this risk I remain single which feels a lot safer.

Would anyone else turn down the partner of their dreams due to anxiety or would you throw caution to the wind for the sake of that 'special someone'?
 
#2 ·
I'd go for it most likely, but i'll be cautious not to seem to desperate.
 
#5 ·
Nah I'd be rubbish. I wouldn't know how to act, wouldn't know what to say and the experience would turn me into a nervous wreck! Its a shame to have to turn down opportunities (if they came my way of course) but that's the way life is, you've just got to play the cards you're dealt.
 
#10 ·
My anxiety would make it so that my first reaction- in my mind- would be to politely decline. However I think I would go ahead and say "yes" because I know those chances don't come around often at all.

I mean there are things I'm insecure about that have prevented me from dating up to this point and asking girls out, but if she asked me out I would most likely say yes.
 
#11 ·
While I'm at a point in life where I almost don't want someone to get to know me, I don't think it would be possible to say no. Hope there would be a defibrillator on stand-by too
 
#13 ·
I would probably looks for cameras or cell phone pointed at me and if i don't find them, i guess id say yes. Someone attractive asking me out has got to be some kind of trap. at least in my messed up head.
 
#14 ·
I probably would turn them down because of anxiety and because i am looking for that special someone.
 
#16 ·
I don't really have an "ideal partner" in mind because although I love women and all, I'm more interested in them as human beings and people to be admired and enjoyed from afar than to try and get them entangled in a pathetic relationship with someone who just simply isn't worth their time and trouble. I must be one of the few men who can say that without feeling all that bad about myself, if that makes sense. It's simply the reality of the situation. I'm not looking for a relationship or sex or anything else.

There was a time when I would have snatched any opportunity right up but in hindsight, it would have been a disaster for myself and anyone unfortunate enough to have had such poor taste and judgment.
 
#17 ·
I would accept since that is half the battle is even finding someone that is on my own wavelength enough to ask.. What do you really have to lose, and its a chance that might be the one in a million of it working out. The SA in all of us would probably make our first instinct be to say no, but think about all the effort it takes someone to work up the courage to ask?
 
#19 ·
Your question confuses me, are you looking for answers that might help you somewhere irl or just for a conformation to your fears of rejection ? Sorry to be blunt but fear/anxiety is not a good basis for avoiding love and companionship, ever!. how old are you?
 
#20 ·
I'm not looking for answers I just wondered if anyone feels the same way as me on the matter, i.e you'd turn someone you like down because saying 'yes' would lead to a disaster. If you have fear and anxiety issues its better to avoid relationships because your anxiety will only contaminate the relationship and make everything worse. I am 33.
 
#22 ·
I'd gladly say yes. But to nitpick on the original question, if someone I felt was attractive asked me out, then it would be easier than someone who I didn't feel attracted to asked me out (who of course, by someone else's feelings, could be attractive.)

But that scenario has never manifested in my life, ever. Not middle school (I went to a K- 8 school, "junior high" was somewhat of a misnomer by the time we were in grade 6 - 8). And not high school. Not my (several stints in) college. Not in the workplace. Not outside of the workplace. It has just never happened for me at all, ever. I'm not attractive to women, so there it is.
 
#23 ·
I've done this two times.
 
#26 ·
It is an impossibility. So if this somehow happened to me, I would know for certain that it would actually be some sort of game being played at my expense. I wouldn't even bother to decline - I'd just turn away and leave, while bracing myself for the laughter that would burst out behind me as I did so.
 
#31 ·
It's a free bet, have nothing to lose except some boredom and loneliness and curiosity.

Why not find out one way or the other?

I've had some beautiful starts with people, and some wonderful, although usually short term successes. Even though it ends in sadness and failure. I'm glad for the experience. If I had it to do over again, knowing the outcome would be the same, I'd still do it.

Those brief moments make life feel worth living. If there's even a tiny chance of finding some small bit of happiness in this hellish life, take it.
 
#32 ·
I would say no. I don't think I am in the right place right now for a relationship and I would not want to get into an emotional situation that I know is doomed. I had an attractive woman give me her number on the train about two years ago but I never called her because I knew I could not be a good boyfriend. I sometime regret that but I think I probably made the right choice.
 
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