I wasn't aware there was a forum for those in their prime

[kpiper0101]

I've been mostly chatting with people younger than my oldest child, but to be honest, it doesn't seem to matter much. Twenty years apparently hasn't changed me that much! I like talking to anyone who has an inkling how I feel, but it's still nice to find out that I'm not the only one on here that's a little bit older, on the outside anyway.

[studentlife]

I agree -- I like talking to people of all ages, but I think it's hard for twenty-somethings to completely relate to forty-somethings. Not just because of the fact that we have more 'life experience', but because this generation lives in such a completely different world than we did at twenty. Wouldn't you say?

[studentlife]

By the way, I love Oregon. Visited there a couple of years ago. Beautiful!

[kpiper0101]

True, a lot has changed. Just the fact that there's a forum like this to go to in your teens and early twenties, where everyone knows what you're talking about, is something I sure didn't have. I think childhood was way better when I was a kid though, so I guess it all evens out.

[WineKitty]

Well, Crickets is for the most part a pretty slow forum. It picks up every once in a while but overall doesnt have much action, despite the decent amount of oldsters (like me ) that we have.

[Amelia]

"those in their prime" I like it! That should be the subheading for this part of the board!

[Atticus]

Originally Posted by Amelia

"those in their prime" I like it! That should be the subheading for this part of the board!

I like this too

[jim695]

Count me in ! I am an older geezer too in his 40s.

Things were very different when we were growing up. I have a lot of repspect for the 20 something crowd. They are very intelligent and hard working and technologically literate.

So consider me one of the crowd !
~~~ Jim

[Pam]

I'm 40, and I just joined this month and most of what I've read is from teens and 20s too. But they seem to be so much more intelligent than I expect. Like I read the post and think wow that's pretty smart and then glance over at the age and am surprised.

Hey, maybe social anxiety is positively correlated with intelligence!

[kpiper0101]

Originally Posted by Pam

Hey, maybe social anxiety is positively correlated with intelligence!

I'm almost positive it is.

[Ghizwiz]

Yep I noticed the inteligence correlation with SAD long time ago. The scary part is, most leaders are by default not afflicted with SAD so what does that say about our overall leadership...?

I'm a 40 something who checks in once in awhile, especially when something happens that makes me realize how acutely different I and my life experiences am/have been from the general population.

Example: Friday night was cousins wedding, thought I was having a fairly okay time, got drunk enough to dance & socialize a bit. Next morning, at post-wedding breakfast, it all comes down around my ears - felt like high school all over again as I walked about the buffet with my plate looking for a place to sit, but instead of popular cliques, it was couples only table over there, wannabe couples table over here, parents of couples & couple wannabe's over there, and then the parents with little kids table... it was funny in a way now that I think about it, as I am much less sensitive than I used to be and just kind of stood there in the middle observing "life" going on around me, until finally someone looked up and a few people realized I needed a place to sit. I shrugged the reluctant offers and found an empty table.

As I ate breakfast, a few of the "chosen" ones came to attempt conversation, but it was all about wedded bliss and how I was doing in my attempt to reach that mecca.

Now I pretty much always thought I wouldn't marry, but at this point, at 42, I'd be about as surprised at finding myself married as I would finding myself on a flight to visit the space shuttle. But how do you describe this fact without sounding like you are putting a pin in the big balloon of marital bliss?

Sigh. Anyway, I did get a bit blue, but then later, realized it's just one day, tomorrow we all, married people included, have to face our day to day realities, and my life experience has taught me that I have just about as much chance at happiness as those on the couple's track in life.

But, it helps to come on a site like this, read posts from my own tribe-mates, and feel "normal" again. Hey, that just gave me an idea - anyone else watch the reality show Survivor? How about one where one whole tribe - or maybe the whole group! was afflicted with SAD? LOL, I wonder if we'd each set up our own mini camps and only grudgingly come together for challenges... I think it should be SAD group vs "normal" people group. I suspect we'd kick some a** (see first paragraph, SAD = higher intelligence!)

Hugs,
Ghizwiz

[OliverPilon]

Actually, people with social anxiety get smarter and smarter until age 30,
then their brain and their mind start degenerating from that poit forward,
a study find.
.....NAH im just kidding lol : )

[kpiper0101]

You scared me! I believed that for a second! :O)

[Pam]

Originally Posted by OliverPilon

Actually, people with social anxiety get smarter and smarter until age 30,
then their brain and their mind start degenerating from that poit forward,
a study find.
.....NAH im just kidding lol : )

Ohhhhh, OK, then that explains why I can't do 2 things at once anymore!

[Pam]

Seriously, when I observe people that are more socially-acceptably social than me, they come across more "fun" and sometimes that means "dumb". Until I was in my mid 20s, I thought I was stupid from my abusive childhood. So I would act like an airhead to get attention, be entertaining, and have people like me (and they did). But now, I REFUSE to act stupid...and although it's more real, I'm more alone. Oh well. It's lonely at the top.....

[OliverPilon]

hey pam,

i get what youre saying, but if i may, i personally believe its only partly true.

First of all one wrong assumption i believe:
that to be fun(or be perceived as fun) you have to be air head/dumb in behavior or something.

Of course it gets attention.
And some people are more attracted to this.
But it attracts more a certain group than another.
Dont get me wrong, it gets everybody's attention - you can do as much
by making a moon out the window of your car. Ok wrong example lol (i luv doing that)
But not necessarily the attention you need.

Thing is, if you get the attention of others who are not the kind of people
you want to be around, or just not compatible..why would you want the attention
of those people..? thats the question to ask yourself.

And if you just want attention for the sake of attention, it can be because you have no attention from others at all. In this case i can understand.
Making friends aint easy. But not only because people need to feel you, but because others also have t obe the kind of good people you want to be around also.

Also..

I believe there are ways to be appreciated and have people enjoy your company and yes, have FUN with you, without being dumb/airhead.
Of course just being flamboyant and stupid will get you more attention more instantaneously, but you dont need to get people's attention in one second.

Also, i know of people who are really intelligent and do not act airhead,
but theyre super fun to be around and people really have fun with them.

There are some underlying factors that get people to be appreciated and enjoyed as company, which arent what we think they are, not the obvious "hes obnoxious" etc kind of observation and conclusion we often make.

but i get what youre saying.
But you shouldnt have this belief and limitation in your head that to be yourself(hence not an airhead) = being invisible and not having people having fun/enjoying your company.

For holding this belief means that to be yourself as you said you are, will never get you visibility, some attention and good people who enjoy your company.
And because you would believe that and hold that t obe true, it would emanate from you and it would become a self fulfilling prophecy.

Basically, all im saying is being open to have people enjoy your company as you say you are, and that it can happen.

There MAY be some thing(s) that is in the way of you having the kind of interactions that you want, and it may be something completely different than you think.
Just keep your eyes and ears open, try to enjoy yourself and live - thats all i can say and recommend..

just my 2 canadian cents anyway : )

Oliver

[OliverPilon]

"lonely at the top"

thats a good one pam

Oli

[Ken67]

Its great to see this board! I'm 41 and have had SA all my life. I di manage to get married and have kids but I still am not "plugged in" the world like all those non-SAers out there. God bless!

Ken

[MavenMI6Agent009]

whats prime

[kpiper0101]

"whats prime"

You're lookin' at it! ;OD