Social Anxiety Support

thissucks · 11-02-2008, 04:40 PM

I am new to this board. I am 33 years old and had SA all my life. I always had friends, but SA made me have bad relationships and some trouble at work. Everyone knows I ma a good worker, but I feel uncomfortable around certain people. Going from job to job is not going to change that. How go the rest of you people deal with that? I am un-married male. I I am proud at lot of things I done, so far. I am looking forward to the future. I find myself drinking alot more too, its satring to make me more tried and have less energy. Drinking feels good for the moment, but the next day sucks. I am just realizing what I have and thats SA. Any advise for me on how to deal with this( without doctors or meds). Thanks.

Woody · 11-03-2008, 06:35 AM

Because of SA, I've always had trouble starting new jobs. My key to success has been to tough it out for as long as I can. Sometimes even jobs that seemed to be terrible at first turned out to be great jobs. It hasn't always worked out, but I've never quit a job unless I was fired or felt that being fired was immanent. Sorry, I can't give any advice about how to get rid of SA. I've had it all my life and it's just something I've accepted. It's the way I am and I just deal with it. Some people seem to think that SA is something that can be cured. I'm not one of those people. Maybe it can for people who were not afflicted with it early in life. But if you were born with it then the best you can do is cope. It would be foolish for a man with only one arm to waste is life away trying to find ways to re-grow it. For me, the sooner I accepted my situation the better my life turned out to be. Oh yeah, and drinking will not help you in the long run. I tried that too. It will eventually make things worse.

Atticus · 11-03-2008, 07:04 AM

I agree with Woody. My SA has made staying in a job I'm somewhat familiar with, and in a social environment I'm somewhat comfortable with, has made moving more difficult than staying. Generally, that's been a good thing, because I can be impulsive and being impulsive job wise can leave you hungry.

I also have briefly dabbled with using alcohol to cope, and for me the results were pretty bad. But you seem to know that.

I would also echo Woody's comments that accepting your condition is important. I don't do it as well as I'd like, but its something I strive for.

Welcome to the board and good luck.

tomcoldaba · 11-03-2008, 06:35 PM

I too had SA throughout my life. Last year on this forum, a poster talked about Toastmasters. I joined 3 Toastmaster clubs last October and in six months my SA became less severe. Currently, I rarely attend meetings but if I have to make a presentation or if I feel my SA coming on, I go back to my clubs and give my speech again. Same speech, new title. It helped me with my job and my personal life. Now I am taking dance classes at Arthur Murray. My instructors tell me I am shy. I try to dance every day of the week.
Try Toastmasters or another organization where you have to deal with people and your SA will become less and less.

11-02-2008, 04:40 PM	#1 (permalink)
thissucks Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 7	I am new with questions I am new to this board. I am 33 years old and had SA all my life. I always had friends, but SA made me have bad relationships and some trouble at work. Everyone knows I ma a good worker, but I feel uncomfortable around certain people. Going from job to job is not going to change that. How go the rest of you people deal with that? I am un-married male. I I am proud at lot of things I done, so far. I am looking forward to the future. I find myself drinking alot more too, its satring to make me more tried and have less energy. Drinking feels good for the moment, but the next day sucks. I am just realizing what I have and thats SA. Any advise for me on how to deal with this( without doctors or meds). Thanks.

11-03-2008, 07:04 AM	#3 (permalink)
Atticus Status: under a sheltering sky Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: St. Louis Age: 52 Posts: 3,531	I agree with Woody. My SA has made staying in a job I'm somewhat familiar with, and in a social environment I'm somewhat comfortable with, has made moving more difficult than staying. Generally, that's been a good thing, because I can be impulsive and being impulsive job wise can leave you hungry. I also have briefly dabbled with using alcohol to cope, and for me the results were pretty bad. But you seem to know that. I would also echo Woody's comments that accepting your condition is important. I don't do it as well as I'd like, but its something I strive for. Welcome to the board and good luck. __________________ Basically I'm just gonna walk the earth. ....You know, like Caine in Kung Fu - walk from place to place, meet people, get in adventures." Jules after his epiphany

11-03-2008, 06:35 AM	#2 (permalink)
Woody Status: Old Fogie Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: East Coast USA Gender: Male Posts: 1,884	Because of SA, I've always had trouble starting new jobs. My key to success has been to tough it out for as long as I can. Sometimes even jobs that seemed to be terrible at first turned out to be great jobs. It hasn't always worked out, but I've never quit a job unless I was fired or felt that being fired was immanent. Sorry, I can't give any advice about how to get rid of SA. I've had it all my life and it's just something I've accepted. It's the way I am and I just deal with it. Some people seem to think that SA is something that can be cured. I'm not one of those people. Maybe it can for people who were not afflicted with it early in life. But if you were born with it then the best you can do is cope. It would be foolish for a man with only one arm to waste is life away trying to find ways to re-grow it. For me, the sooner I accepted my situation the better my life turned out to be. Oh yeah, and drinking will not help you in the long run. I tried that too. It will eventually make things worse.

11-03-2008, 06:35 PM	#4 (permalink)
tomcoldaba Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 676	I too had SA throughout my life. Last year on this forum, a poster talked about Toastmasters. I joined 3 Toastmaster clubs last October and in six months my SA became less severe. Currently, I rarely attend meetings but if I have to make a presentation or if I feel my SA coming on, I go back to my clubs and give my speech again. Same speech, new title. It helped me with my job and my personal life. Now I am taking dance classes at Arthur Murray. My instructors tell me I am shy. I try to dance every day of the week. Try Toastmasters or another organization where you have to deal with people and your SA will become less and less.