Social Anxiety Support

Hadron · 10-18-2009, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ospi

Things have been going brilliantly lately.

In 12 months I have gone from being a recluse, failing uni subjects, working the same 6 hours a week at a plant nursery and never being kissed in my life to going out each weekend, graduating uni, working in an aerospace company, working in Malaysia developing a racing car alongside the best in the business and having an ex gf and generally having more success with the opposite sex (though I still struggle here).

Did it all just happen on its own? No.

All about hard work and a will to improve. If I can do it, anyone here can!

Thank you for sharing this. It genuinely does inspire me to see people battle hard against their problems -- I admire people like you a lot

. It gives me hope...

man, I can't believe I wrote this, but it's true

. There is just this something about people who genuinely try hard that gives me a lot of inspiration.

shadowmask · 10-18-2009, 12:48 PM

That's really awesome, Ospi, I'm happy for you.

I'm hoping to make a major change like that in my own life soon.

epril · 11-02-2009, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by secretlyshecries

Why do people always make it sound like you have it so much easier if you're young with SA? I think I'd be able to do more about it if I was older and living on my own. I feel like I can't admit to having SA because I have a family (who I live with and depend on) who will think I'm just making excuses for not working and all the rest of it. If I was older and living on my own, I feel like it would be easier for me to seek help because I wouldn't have to worry about people knowing (my family) and I could drive myself to counselling (I don't drive, or am learning) and make more of an effort. Being dependent on other people just makes it difficult.

That said, my life is going... okay. Now that I've been forced to do work for the dole, I feel anxious a lot more but I guess it's kind of like exposure therapy.

In regards to why SA may be easier when you're younger: More adults willing to help the younger generation, more understanding attitude about your disorder because you're young and just beginning, and haven't been festering in your illness for years; people aren't sick of you yet.

No age discrimination when you're younger, for one thing. More chances to interact without having to search for activities, due to high school and college where many peers are gathered together in one place, with many class and club choices readily available.

I know you can think of reasons it's easier for older people too. It's tough for everyone.

odicepaul · 11-02-2009, 11:21 PM

I wouldn't know where to start with this one.
I have a very severe case of SA at this time, but didn't always suffer so badly. There are other factors and problems I am having that add to my present state of being. SA however is an ever present setback that I am incapable of overcoming without help right now. I was married twice in the past, and both were short lived and disastrous failures partially due to my SA problems. Now I am homeless, and without a good woman to partner with for over 10 years and I do not see an end to my misery in sight. I contemplate getting help somewhere, and I contemplate giving up on life, but mostly I just move around being depressed and lonely with no direction or hope.
I hope that answers a few of your questions.

leonardess · 11-03-2009, 12:51 AM

I have worked pretty steadily since I was 14. one bout of unemployment which lasted for 7 months.

I have had too many relationships, all for the wrong reasons. And I still felt alone.

I married a friend and was still unhappy, finally had the courage to do something about it (however messily), and I'm glad about it in the end, because he deserves to have someone who is truly head over heels in love with him.

Now, I am at a threshold. I have the choices that I denied myself years ago. It's all up to me.

helpless · 11-03-2009, 03:08 PM

Horrible!

I am in a Hopeless Situation, which I am Helpless to get out of!

I have thrown my life away & wasted it, and it's Too Late for me to do anything with my life, and "make something of myself." (to use a silly phrase).

Knowing this is so terribly depressing, I just can't begin to describe it.

epril · 11-04-2009, 12:45 AM

It's never too late. You can start right now. As long as you're alive, there is hope.

hopena · 11-04-2009, 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by helpless

Horrible!

I am in a Hopeless Situation, which I am Helpless to get out of!

I have thrown my life away & wasted it, and it's Too Late for me to do anything with my life, and "make something of myself." (to use a silly phrase).

Knowing this is so terribly depressing, I just can't begin to describe it.

I've been feeling the same way

, but am also reminding myself of what epril said above. There are only parts of my life that I feel the way about, but it still hurts.

helpless · 11-04-2009, 02:57 PM

Thanks for the posts, epril & hopena. Yes, if you're still alive, you can still do something, but the older we get, the less time we have left to do things in.

ironheart · 11-05-2009, 02:18 PM

It's hard to say. I should be very unhappy with my situation but as a rule I'm not.

It's easy to wallow in the tragedy of solitude or grieve for an unobtainable life you feel you should be living (I've done enough of both) but I've started to accept that unless I find a 'cure' for the attributes that fail me then this microcosum in which I exist is the right place for me.

Perhaps one day I'll find a sliver of inspiration that'll guide me to a higher plateau but until then, this is the best I can hope for.

merryk · 11-05-2009, 09:57 PM

Life at the moment seems at a standstill, and something's got to give. I held three part-time jobs until recently, when two ended for the season and now I'm left working four hours per week. If I made $100/hour, that might not be an issue, lol.

My 20's were bright overall socially and vocationally. Ironically, I would love to have the opportunities I'd had back then, now that I know exactly what I'd like to do with my life, whereas back then I didn't have as clear a direction but it didn't matter so much because I was brimming with potential and time seemed plentiful, lol.

I'm thankful I don't have debt other than about $3k owed on my car, which allows me more freedom, and hey--I like myself! lol Now if I can find others who like me too...I've been rather isolated this past year and I'm ready to socialize!

10-18-2009, 12:48 PM	#22 (permalink)
shadowmask Status: Seeing stars Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: TN Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 1,085	That's really awesome, Ospi, I'm happy for you. I'm hoping to make a major change like that in my own life soon. __________________ Basically, I'm complicated I have a hard time taking the easy way I wouldn't call it schizophrenia But I'll be at least two people today

11-02-2009, 11:21 PM	#24 (permalink)
odicepaul Status: Somewhere Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: OK Gender: Male Posts: 295	I wouldn't know where to start with this one. I have a very severe case of SA at this time, but didn't always suffer so badly. There are other factors and problems I am having that add to my present state of being. SA however is an ever present setback that I am incapable of overcoming without help right now. I was married twice in the past, and both were short lived and disastrous failures partially due to my SA problems. Now I am homeless, and without a good woman to partner with for over 10 years and I do not see an end to my misery in sight. I contemplate getting help somewhere, and I contemplate giving up on life, but mostly I just move around being depressed and lonely with no direction or hope. I hope that answers a few of your questions. __________________ "I know how this will end, in apologies and smilie faces on the screen. A slowly constructed keyboard confession of my spirit to all of you" -Le Descorde C'est Moi and Odicepaul

11-03-2009, 12:51 AM	#25 (permalink)
leonardess Status: wheresthefire?inmyeye! Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: WILL you people please leave me alone?I'm supposed to be working lol Gender: Female Age: 45 Posts: 1,231	I have worked pretty steadily since I was 14. one bout of unemployment which lasted for 7 months. I have had too many relationships, all for the wrong reasons. And I still felt alone. I married a friend and was still unhappy, finally had the courage to do something about it (however messily), and I'm glad about it in the end, because he deserves to have someone who is truly head over heels in love with him. Now, I am at a threshold. I have the choices that I denied myself years ago. It's all up to me. __________________ One day I will change this sig to something really cool, if I only had a brain....

11-03-2009, 03:08 PM	#26 (permalink)
helpless Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 110	Horrible! I am in a Hopeless Situation, which I am Helpless to get out of! I have thrown my life away & wasted it, and it's Too Late for me to do anything with my life, and "make something of myself." (to use a silly phrase). Knowing this is so terribly depressing, I just can't begin to describe it. __________________ Once An SA, Always an SA

11-04-2009, 12:45 AM	#27 (permalink)
epril Status: sa challenger Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: arizona Gender: Female Age: 45 Posts: 2,654	It's never too late. You can start right now. As long as you're alive, there is hope. __________________ "Nobody's ever asked me to a party before, as a friend! Is that why you dyed your eyebrow, for the party? Should I do mine, too?"

11-04-2009, 02:57 PM	#29 (permalink)
helpless Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 110	Thanks for the posts, epril & hopena. Yes, if you're still alive, you can still do something, but the older we get, the less time we have left to do things in. __________________ Once An SA, Always an SA

11-05-2009, 02:18 PM	#30 (permalink)
ironheart Status: The Kwisatz Haderach Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: England. Gender: Male Age: 32 Posts: 70	It's hard to say. I should be very unhappy with my situation but as a rule I'm not. It's easy to wallow in the tragedy of solitude or grieve for an unobtainable life you feel you should be living (I've done enough of both) but I've started to accept that unless I find a 'cure' for the attributes that fail me then this microcosum in which I exist is the right place for me. Perhaps one day I'll find a sliver of inspiration that'll guide me to a higher plateau but until then, this is the best I can hope for.

11-05-2009, 09:57 PM	#31 (permalink)
merryk Status: planning next adventure Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: New England Gender: Female Posts: 51	Life at the moment seems at a standstill, and something's got to give. I held three part-time jobs until recently, when two ended for the season and now I'm left working four hours per week. If I made $100/hour, that might not be an issue, lol. My 20's were bright overall socially and vocationally. Ironically, I would love to have the opportunities I'd had back then, now that I know exactly what I'd like to do with my life, whereas back then I didn't have as clear a direction but it didn't matter so much because I was brimming with potential and time seemed plentiful, lol. I'm thankful I don't have debt other than about $3k owed on my car, which allows me more freedom, and hey--I like myself! lol Now if I can find others who like me too...I've been rather isolated this past year and I'm ready to socialize!