Social Anxiety Support

MaidMarian · 06-05-2009, 11:41 AM

Lately I've noticed a few signs that I'm not a teenager anymore. The first few gray hairs have appeared, and my knees and hips hurt after I've gone for a walk. It just suddenly struck me that I'm getting older, that I won't always have a healthy, youthful body, that I really am mortal (duh). I don't have any wrinkles yet, thank goodness, because I'm not a sun-worshipper. Getting old gracefully is okay, but I'm scared of not being able to take care of myself at some time in the future. I took care of my ex-husband's grandmother before she passed away, and she was like totally helpless -- had to be fed, changed, all that. I shudder to think that I could one day end up like that.

Alone42Long · 06-05-2009, 02:54 PM

I've got a few grey hairs starting to come in of late but I kind of dig it.
Of course I'm a guy but I find it rather attractive on women too.

The new aches & longer heal time is not a positive.

As a always very independent guy along with social anxieties & such ... Yep, I shudder to think that I could one day end up like that.

You never know for sure how you would feel at the time until something like that actually happened, but I really don't even want to imagine it. I'm not sure I'd want to deal if it came to that. And of course my sympathies definitely go out to those who do find themselves in that predicament.

I started at a young age at a fairly physically demanding job & put faith in the long term stockmarket for retirement. Of course 1/3 of that is poof & to reach full retirement I'd have to be their 50+ years. That is unheard of here. most between 24-36 with only a couple 40 year people. Thinking of possibilities into the far future(or not so far) Can be very scary in many ways for sure.

Atticus · 06-05-2009, 06:25 PM

I'm not all that afraid of getting old, since it's already happening by any reasonable definition. I think I cope OK with the signs of aging and the aches and pains. What bothers me, often, is the feeling that I'm running out of time to do things I want or need to do. On bad days, I think I've already run out.

kpiper0101 · 06-05-2009, 06:35 PM

I worry about my future a bit since both my parents are gone, and I don't have anyone I could turn to anymore. My financial outlook is rather grim as well. I do own my house though so at least I won't be homeless. I don't think that far into the future that often I guess since present day is generally overwhelming enough for me. I put a lot of trust in God 'cause every good thing I have has come to me via Him. I guess he likes me because I have been blessed in ways I've done nothing to deserve. Hopefully he's got my old age covered for me 'cause I certainly don't! I think I have a bit of denial about aging physically. It's hard to think of your body getting old when emotionally you've never gotten much beyond 12. :O\

solasum · 06-05-2009, 09:20 PM

Sometimes, but I have no reason to worry. If there's a heaven, hopefully I'll go there and be happy. If it doesn't exist, then maybe I'll cease to exist - but I won't even be aware of it. I do consider that I may never marry or have kids, so what will the end of my life be like just before I die? What if I die in my house and decay and nobody realizes until a stench wafts to the neighbors?

^What a positive thought.

Maslow · 06-06-2009, 06:39 AM

Why worry about things you have no control over? It's a waste of time and energy.

solasum · 06-06-2009, 11:20 AM

I do have control over whether or not I die alone.

WineKitty · 06-06-2009, 05:06 PM

Worrying about something like this is a waste of time; although I used to do it and am still guilty of it at times. But these days I seem to be very focused on the here and now and living my life NOW. I could always step out my door and be hit by that proverbial bus. I love who I have grown into; I wouldnt want my 20 year old self back for anything.

OneIsALonelyNumber · 06-07-2009, 04:51 PM

I don't mind the white hair and I don't mind the wrinkles. What I do mind is the increased chance of getting an illness: heart disease, cancer, etc.

Becoming unable to care for myself isn't really a concern at this point because that is something that happens to REALLY old people. When I turn 50 I'll start to worry.

Alone42Long · 06-07-2009, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OneIsALonelyNumber

I don't mind the white hair and I don't mind the wrinkles. What I do mind is the increased chance of getting an illness: heart disease, cancer, etc.

Becoming unable to care for myself isn't really a concern at this point because that is something that happens to REALLY old people. When I turn 50 I'll start to worry.

hey now young whippersnapper watch it.

Yeah an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure as they say. Your odds are so much higher if you don't take proper care of yourself as you age.

I know it's not easy and especially with the anxieties leading to depression & personally feeling like I'll always be alone & what's the point of living. It makes staying motivated to not let myself completely go, very challenging. A lot of that illness could happen to anyone it's just 4x more likely if you aren't proactive.

UltraShy · 06-08-2009, 06:29 AM

I already am old. On SAS I get to welcome new members who are half my age.

My back aches if I have to sit in a car driving too long. That didn't happen when I was 25. I've found 2 or 3 grey hairs, though hair loss that's been going on the for last 10 years concerns me more than hair color as any color is still better than none.

I find myself having to look more closely at really tiny print. I certainly don't need reading glasses yet, but it's not like when I was young and I could nearly read the micro-print they put on checks that's impossible to photocopy because it's too small.

I can't seriously imagine myself living to a truly old age. I've seen what it's like to be old & helpless -- death seems preferable to being one of the living dead.

supersoshychick · 06-08-2009, 07:09 AM

not really, i already feel old actually. I feel like a 60y/o stuck in a 19/o body

Amelia · 06-08-2009, 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaidMarian

Getting old gracefully is okay, but I'm scared of not being able to take care of myself at some time in the future.

I have exactly the same thoughts and try to put them to the back of my mind. Having to rely on help from "care" workers doesn't sound like much fun, even assuming they are properly qualified and have your interests at heart -- which is not necessarily to be taken for granted, at least judging from some of the things you hear about the kind of people sometimes employed to look after the elderly. I think it's particularly important for people who are on their own, and who don't have a partner/kids/close friends, to stay fit and healthy for as long as possible.

Firefly9 · 06-08-2009, 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by solasum

What if I die in my house and decay and nobody realizes until a stench wafts to the neighbors?

^What a positive thought.

I think I will be eaten by my cats

I got a chance to go to Japan last year, and over there they actually make being old look like fun. There were always old people out doing stuff, going to festivals, hanging out in parks. I mean, SA would still be a problem for us, but here in the US it is like old age seems to be inherently isolating. So for me, already fighting against isolation in my 30's, I think growing old and not ultimately ending up alone seems hopeless sometimes. So yes, it scares the crap out of me. Not growing old necessarily, but growing old having never really lived.

justpassinby · 06-08-2009, 06:48 PM

I think about and wonder how i'm going to die, will it be slow, painful. I'm not preoccupied with it, but I just wonder more about it now than I did when I was in my 20s. I don't mind getting fat, saggy and wrinkly though

I have to say I worry about if SSI will be here, or if I will have to depend on the state workers, who can be abusive. I think about having one of those life alerts so I can stay somewhat independent yet have peace of mind.

copper · 06-09-2009, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UltraShy

My back aches if I have to sit in a car driving too long. That didn't happen when I was 25.

I have to do warm up exercises before driving.

LostPancake · 06-09-2009, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Firefly9

I got a chance to go to Japan last year, and over there they actually make being old look like fun. There were always old people out doing stuff, going to festivals, hanging out in parks. I mean, SA would still be a problem for us, but here in the US it is like old age seems to be inherently isolating. So for me, already fighting against isolation in my 30's, I think growing old and not ultimately ending up alone seems hopeless sometimes. So yes, it scares the crap out of me. Not growing old necessarily, but growing old having never really lived.

That sounds great. I especially like how the older people do Tai Chi in the parks in Asia. Sounds so much nicer than what happens in America - sitting around watching television. If there's a community in America that does Tai Chi outdoors, I'm gonna move there when I get old.

And my robot will help take care of me.

MaidMarian · 06-09-2009, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UltraShy

I find myself having to look more closely at really tiny print. I certainly don't need reading glasses yet, but it's not like when I was young and I could nearly read the micro-print they put on checks that's impossible to photocopy because it's too small.

Oh yeah, I forgot about needing reading glasses. I can't read small print anymore without mine. The last vision test I took was back in 2000, and I had better than 20/20 vision then. The rapid decline in eyesight is worrisome.

Desperate · 06-09-2009, 10:52 PM

I feel old and I'm only 20... LOl.. I don't worry too much.. Maybe because I have a gut feeling I won't get to live that old anyways.. I do get scared though.. Maybe I just worry about leaving this earth without leaving a mark.. I just want to be remembered by my family.. I was thinking about it one day because I was just wondering what my great grandparents were like.. I don't even know their names.. If I have grandchildren, I want them to remember me by..

UltraShy · 06-10-2009, 08:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaidMarian

Oh yeah, I forgot about needing reading glasses. I can't read small print anymore without mine. The last vision test I took was back in 2000, and I had better than 20/20 vision then. The rapid decline in eyesight is worrisome.

At my last eye exam back in February my nearsightedness actually improved.

My contact prescription went from -4.75 to -4.25 for right eye & from -4.00 to -3.75 for the left. This is the first time ever that my prescription has gone weaker.

06-05-2009, 11:41 AM	#1 (permalink)
MaidMarian Status: dazed and confused Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Vancouver, Canada Gender: Female Age: 45 Posts: 896	Do you worry about getting old? Lately I've noticed a few signs that I'm not a teenager anymore. The first few gray hairs have appeared, and my knees and hips hurt after I've gone for a walk. It just suddenly struck me that I'm getting older, that I won't always have a healthy, youthful body, that I really am mortal (duh). I don't have any wrinkles yet, thank goodness, because I'm not a sun-worshipper. Getting old gracefully is okay, but I'm scared of not being able to take care of myself at some time in the future. I took care of my ex-husband's grandmother before she passed away, and she was like totally helpless -- had to be fed, changed, all that. I shudder to think that I could one day end up like that. __________________ No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness. - Aristotle

06-05-2009, 02:54 PM	#2 (permalink)
Alone42Long Status: everyday is sunshine Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: happiness is a warm gun.bng bng sht sht Gender: Male Posts: 531	I've got a few grey hairs starting to come in of late but I kind of dig it. Of course I'm a guy but I find it rather attractive on women too. The new aches & longer heal time is not a positive. As a always very independent guy along with social anxieties & such ... Yep, I shudder to think that I could one day end up like that. You never know for sure how you would feel at the time until something like that actually happened, but I really don't even want to imagine it. I'm not sure I'd want to deal if it came to that. And of course my sympathies definitely go out to those who do find themselves in that predicament. I started at a young age at a fairly physically demanding job & put faith in the long term stockmarket for retirement. Of course 1/3 of that is poof & to reach full retirement I'd have to be their 50+ years. That is unheard of here. most between 24-36 with only a couple 40 year people. Thinking of possibilities into the far future(or not so far) Can be very scary in many ways for sure. __________________ "Yesterday is history ... Tomorrow is a mystery."

06-05-2009, 06:25 PM	#3 (permalink)
Atticus Status: under a sheltering sky Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: St. Louis Age: 52 Posts: 3,531	I'm not all that afraid of getting old, since it's already happening by any reasonable definition. I think I cope OK with the signs of aging and the aches and pains. What bothers me, often, is the feeling that I'm running out of time to do things I want or need to do. On bad days, I think I've already run out. __________________ Basically I'm just gonna walk the earth. ....You know, like Caine in Kung Fu - walk from place to place, meet people, get in adventures." Jules after his epiphany

06-06-2009, 05:06 PM	#8 (permalink)
WineKitty Status: Almost 10,000 Posts :) Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Alone Inside My Mind Gender: Female Posts: 9,972	Worrying about something like this is a waste of time; although I used to do it and am still guilty of it at times. But these days I seem to be very focused on the here and now and living my life NOW. I could always step out my door and be hit by that proverbial bus. I love who I have grown into; I wouldnt want my 20 year old self back for anything. __________________ "The more I know about people, the better I like my dog." - Mark Twain

06-08-2009, 06:29 AM	#11 (permalink)
UltraShy Status: Accident of Birth Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Milwaukee, WI (Atheist, Libertarian) Gender: Male Age: 36 Posts: 24,575	I already am old. On SAS I get to welcome new members who are half my age. My back aches if I have to sit in a car driving too long. That didn't happen when I was 25. I've found 2 or 3 grey hairs, though hair loss that's been going on the for last 10 years concerns me more than hair color as any color is still better than none. I find myself having to look more closely at really tiny print. I certainly don't need reading glasses yet, but it's not like when I was young and I could nearly read the micro-print they put on checks that's impossible to photocopy because it's too small. I can't seriously imagine myself living to a truly old age. I've seen what it's like to be old & helpless -- death seems preferable to being one of the living dead. __________________ Nothing is ever the way it should be What we deserve we just don't get you see http://www.insureyourgunrights.com/

06-05-2009, 06:35 PM	#4 (permalink)
kpiper0101 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Eugene, OR Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 355	I worry about my future a bit since both my parents are gone, and I don't have anyone I could turn to anymore. My financial outlook is rather grim as well. I do own my house though so at least I won't be homeless. I don't think that far into the future that often I guess since present day is generally overwhelming enough for me. I put a lot of trust in God 'cause every good thing I have has come to me via Him. I guess he likes me because I have been blessed in ways I've done nothing to deserve. Hopefully he's got my old age covered for me 'cause I certainly don't! I think I have a bit of denial about aging physically. It's hard to think of your body getting old when emotionally you've never gotten much beyond 12. :O\

06-05-2009, 09:20 PM	#5 (permalink)
solasum Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Louisville, Kentucky Posts: 914	Sometimes, but I have no reason to worry. If there's a heaven, hopefully I'll go there and be happy. If it doesn't exist, then maybe I'll cease to exist - but I won't even be aware of it. I do consider that I may never marry or have kids, so what will the end of my life be like just before I die? What if I die in my house and decay and nobody realizes until a stench wafts to the neighbors? ^What a positive thought.

06-06-2009, 06:39 AM	#6 (permalink)
Maslow Status: SAS Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Denver Gender: Male Posts: 3,045	Why worry about things you have no control over? It's a waste of time and energy.

06-06-2009, 11:20 AM	#7 (permalink)
solasum Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Louisville, Kentucky Posts: 914	I do have control over whether or not I die alone.

06-07-2009, 04:51 PM	#9 (permalink)
OneIsALonelyNumber Status: SAS Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Midwest Age: 39 Posts: 2,824	I don't mind the white hair and I don't mind the wrinkles. What I do mind is the increased chance of getting an illness: heart disease, cancer, etc. Becoming unable to care for myself isn't really a concern at this point because that is something that happens to REALLY old people. When I turn 50 I'll start to worry.

06-08-2009, 07:09 AM	#12 (permalink)
supersoshychick Status: supersoshychick Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Paranoia Gender: Female Age: 19 Posts: 204	not really, i already feel old actually. I feel like a 60y/o stuck in a 19/o body __________________ Blog about social anxiety, doraphobia, depression, and rants about my personal life http://www.supersoshychick.blogspot.com My dream log http://dreaminguponreality.blogspot.com/

06-08-2009, 06:48 PM	#15 (permalink)
justpassinby Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 429	I think about and wonder how i'm going to die, will it be slow, painful. I'm not preoccupied with it, but I just wonder more about it now than I did when I was in my 20s. I don't mind getting fat, saggy and wrinkly though I have to say I worry about if SSI will be here, or if I will have to depend on the state workers, who can be abusive. I think about having one of those life alerts so I can stay somewhat independent yet have peace of mind.

06-09-2009, 10:52 PM	#19 (permalink)
Desperate Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Central Cali Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 358	I feel old and I'm only 20... LOl.. I don't worry too much.. Maybe because I have a gut feeling I won't get to live that old anyways.. I do get scared though.. Maybe I just worry about leaving this earth without leaving a mark.. I just want to be remembered by my family.. I was thinking about it one day because I was just wondering what my great grandparents were like.. I don't even know their names.. If I have grandchildren, I want them to remember me by..