Do you think having SA has stunted your maturity?

[Still Waters]

Because I have had so few relationships and normal social activities I don't quite fit in anywhere. Those my age have clearly surpassed me in many ways. Socially I'm so awkward I feel sometimes like I'm about 14. The normal things you pick up from interactions just aren't there. Do you notice this in your life?

[Hot Chocolate]

Even though i'm only fresh out of my youth. But when I went to my friends' blog and myspaces to take a look at their life and found out that they had progressed pretty far in life like getting a college diploma..on their way to degree, driving, working in a cushy job, gained many connections..in a relationship etc. I suddenly felt so small and..younger than them in terms of mentality. It doesn't feel real..one time they were my classmates stressing over exams, the latest handphones, now they are each working hard to strive for something 'adult' in their life (flats, cars etc.)

Yes it stunted my growth as i'm still stuck at the phase where i'm just satisfied to have my parents paid for my bills and just working part-time enough to fill my tummy and save for an ipod Ya it's funny because I should have gotten out of it but I can't because I know my SA is pissing people off and limiting my abliities.

[kl_]

Originally Posted by Still Waters

Because I have had so few relationships and normal social activities I don't quite fit in anywhere. Those my age have clearly surpassed me in many ways. Socially I'm so awkward I feel sometimes like I'm about 14. The normal things you pick up from interactions just aren't there. Do you notice this in your life?

I go in spurts where I feel like a confident contributor to positive progression in my life whether it be in fields of education, work, or relationships and other times where I regress into complete avoidance of any situations which have made me feel awkward or extremely anxious in the past.

Because of my avoidance, I spend a lot of time alone which is both a source of comfort and discomfort for me. One of the benefits of avoiding uncomfortable social situations is that I spend a lot of time thinking about things, reading, learning, and maturing in ways that were probably ahead of the bell curve for my age. At the same time, I can completely relate to your thoughts on feeling underdeveloped and awkward in many areas due to my social avoidance. Sometimes when talking awkwardly to some people, whether it be professional peers, acquaintances, or my boss, I feel like I am that 12 year old kid trapped inside an adult body. It's a fairly disheartening thing to realize in the moment and also looking back in perspective at some of the experiences I avoided which could have helped me grow as a person.

As I look back on social interactions, I think it's not quite as absolute as I once thought in terms of my mindset. Because of avoidance, I, indeed, haven't been exposed to as many social situations so I am underdeveloped in that area. At the same time, despite the lack of control I have over my anxiety, I also realize with perspective, that a lot of the thoughts and perceptions I have about myself or how others judge me when I talk with them are completely irrational and fabricated. I realize my anxiety when interacting with others can sometimes be completely nuts, but I am unable to stop my mind from racing even though I realize the absurdity of the feeling.

[Toad Licker]

I've never really felt like I fit in at any time in my life, it wasn't as noticeable when I was younger though. I've always related better with people younger than me. I don't strive for the things a person my age would normally strive for. I still play video games all the time, most of my friends from the online game I play are teenagers. I'm just a big kid, 43 going on 17, that's me.

[WineKitty]

Originally Posted by Toad Licker

I've never really felt like I fit in at any time in my life, it wasn't as noticeable when I was younger though. I've always related better with people younger than me.

I relate better to people younger than me now, but its not like I have ever really fit in. The closest I came was high school and the four years post high school but even that was a poor fit.