Social Anxiety Support

Still Waters · 12-04-2008, 09:21 AM

At last I have some uninterrupted time of mine own today!! I 'm going to relish every second of it! So,we hear all the depressing stuff about getting older,how about some good stuff?? I'll start- 1.-Getting less obsessed about looks(being female I know I can't escape that 100%). Seeing a few gray hairs has not freaked me out -I just thought,so what?? 2.-Have mostly chucked my chameleon mode-Lots less interested in breaking my neck to appear to be what others want/need me to be! 3.-Becoming much more interested in the world- This was a surprise! I want to see and know as much as I can. 4.-As my grip on the external stuff-looks,others perceptions of me,etc.has diminished in importance I'm not so limited in my thoughts and constraints. Who knew it could be a good thing to be alive past 40?!?

Amocholes · 12-04-2008, 10:16 AM

Not getting carded at the liquor store.
Knowing what my limits are and when to call it quits.
Enough experience to know when I am wrong and the courage to admit it.
No longer caring if someone finds out that I'm gay.
When someone asks for my advice, they actually want to know.

justpassinby · 12-04-2008, 12:44 PM

I can let myself get away with staying home on the weekends. I don't make excuses anymore, I can just say "i'm tired" or "no." I figured out its better to be quiet than right.

Solitario · 12-04-2008, 01:33 PM

You'll die sooner.

Atticus · 12-04-2008, 01:54 PM

^^I'm not sure you captured the spirit of the thread^^

I think I've sorted out my priorities much better than I had at 25 or 35. I'm generally calmer and less concerned with the opinions of others. I don't spend nearly as much time trying to fool myself as I used to. I'm also much less selfish than I was, yet I'm more assertive in setting limits on how much I'll give. In my youth I couldn't set limits well, and I knew this, which made me reluctant to give for the fear that I couldn't stop.

I do seem to bump my head more often than I used to, though. Seriously. I wear glasses all the time now and I think they mess with my peripheral vision, or the up-down version of peripheral ???

justpassinby · 12-04-2008, 02:22 PM

lol I tried really hard to stay with the positive spirit of this thread too, but in response to "dying sooner" you might have a point there. I remember watching one of the last scenes in the movie Driving Miss Daisy and saying to my DH "I wonder if there ever comes a time when you wake up in the morning disappointed because you're still alive?"

I haven't gotten there quite yet...!

Still Waters · 12-04-2008, 03:33 PM

Oh,Atticus- Could you please write an advice column,book,anything.- I just love to read your thoughts!! I must admit I have yet to get reading glasses. Not brave enough just yet-besides it's a challenge to squint and hold books two feet away!! Solitario-Wow,that stings!! I have those days to!!

WineKitty · 12-04-2008, 04:15 PM

I tried the progressive lenses and hated them with a passion. I am supposed to wear glasses but dont. I will wait until I am almost blind before that happens.

Atticus · 12-04-2008, 07:41 PM

I have progressive lenses. I never wore glasses prior to these, so I had no basis for comparison. I don't really care how bi-focals look, so I may try them next.

Which really brings up another positive. Age is humbling, in a good way. I think I'm struggling right now because I don't do humble that well yet, but sometimes I'm able to let go of some of my pride, and its a relief, even if only temporary. There's something peaceful about saying I don't care about how bi-focals look, for example.

Maslow · 12-04-2008, 09:39 PM

I was forced to get glasses about 9 years ago when I only got 5 out of 10 right on the drivers license eye test. Man, what a difference when I got them! I could actually read street signs without having to get out of the car. Now I have one pair for reading, one for working at the computer, and I'm getting bifocals for everything else.

So that's not one of the good things about getting older. One good thing is: I'm no longer prematurely gray. I started getting gray hair when I was still in high school. (Thanks mom)

Mjh · 12-14-2008, 04:21 AM

- Older people are more interesting I find, not in what they do, but what they say.
- The older I get, the more comfortable I feel with my place in the world.
- I dont care as much, about a whole range of things. Fortunately those things that dont matter anyway.

kelso · 12-15-2008, 11:14 PM

Mjh has put it in a nut shell for me - totally agree.

Ms Deer · 12-16-2008, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kelso

Mjh has put it in a nut shell for me - totally agree.

Sillouhette · 12-21-2008, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mjh

- Older people are more interesting I find, not in what they do, but what they say.
- The older I get, the more comfortable I feel with my place in the world.
- I dont care as much, about a whole range of things. Fortunately those things that dont matter anyway.

Yes, I noticed that too. The things I used to care so much about don't even enter my thoughts anymore. Just doing what I have to do to get through the day is the most important thing now. Basics. Everything else is just so much fluff.

12-04-2008, 09:21 AM	#1 (permalink)
Still Waters Status: Lost And Unaccounted For Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Stuck in the Lost and Found Gender: Female Posts: 668	Calling All Crickets-What are some good things about getting older?? At last I have some uninterrupted time of mine own today!! I 'm going to relish every second of it! So,we hear all the depressing stuff about getting older,how about some good stuff?? I'll start- 1.-Getting less obsessed about looks(being female I know I can't escape that 100%). Seeing a few gray hairs has not freaked me out -I just thought,so what?? 2.-Have mostly chucked my chameleon mode-Lots less interested in breaking my neck to appear to be what others want/need me to be! 3.-Becoming much more interested in the world- This was a surprise! I want to see and know as much as I can. 4.-As my grip on the external stuff-looks,others perceptions of me,etc.has diminished in importance I'm not so limited in my thoughts and constraints. Who knew it could be a good thing to be alive past 40?!?

12-04-2008, 10:16 AM	#2 (permalink)
Amocholes Status: Super Moderator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Hello my freaky darlings! Gender: Male Age: 49 Posts: 12,596	Not getting carded at the liquor store. Knowing what my limits are and when to call it quits. Enough experience to know when I am wrong and the courage to admit it. No longer caring if someone finds out that I'm gay. When someone asks for my advice, they actually want to know. __________________ In the kingdom of the blind, the one legged man is king.

12-04-2008, 01:54 PM	#5 (permalink)
Atticus Status: under a sheltering sky Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: St. Louis Age: 52 Posts: 3,531	^^I'm not sure you captured the spirit of the thread^^ I think I've sorted out my priorities much better than I had at 25 or 35. I'm generally calmer and less concerned with the opinions of others. I don't spend nearly as much time trying to fool myself as I used to. I'm also much less selfish than I was, yet I'm more assertive in setting limits on how much I'll give. In my youth I couldn't set limits well, and I knew this, which made me reluctant to give for the fear that I couldn't stop. I do seem to bump my head more often than I used to, though. Seriously. I wear glasses all the time now and I think they mess with my peripheral vision, or the up-down version of peripheral ??? __________________ Basically I'm just gonna walk the earth. ....You know, like Caine in Kung Fu - walk from place to place, meet people, get in adventures." Jules after his epiphany

12-04-2008, 07:41 PM	#9 (permalink)
Atticus Status: under a sheltering sky Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: St. Louis Age: 52 Posts: 3,531	I have progressive lenses. I never wore glasses prior to these, so I had no basis for comparison. I don't really care how bi-focals look, so I may try them next. Which really brings up another positive. Age is humbling, in a good way. I think I'm struggling right now because I don't do humble that well yet, but sometimes I'm able to let go of some of my pride, and its a relief, even if only temporary. There's something peaceful about saying I don't care about how bi-focals look, for example. __________________ Basically I'm just gonna walk the earth. ....You know, like Caine in Kung Fu - walk from place to place, meet people, get in adventures." Jules after his epiphany

12-04-2008, 12:44 PM	#3 (permalink)
justpassinby Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 429	I can let myself get away with staying home on the weekends. I don't make excuses anymore, I can just say "i'm tired" or "no." I figured out its better to be quiet than right.

12-04-2008, 01:33 PM	#4 (permalink)
Solitario Status: I'm a dude Join Date: Aug 2008 Gender: Male Posts: 614	You'll die sooner.

12-04-2008, 02:22 PM	#6 (permalink)
justpassinby Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 429	lol I tried really hard to stay with the positive spirit of this thread too, but in response to "dying sooner" you might have a point there. I remember watching one of the last scenes in the movie Driving Miss Daisy and saying to my DH "I wonder if there ever comes a time when you wake up in the morning disappointed because you're still alive?" I haven't gotten there quite yet...!

12-04-2008, 03:33 PM	#7 (permalink)
Still Waters Status: Lost And Unaccounted For Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Stuck in the Lost and Found Gender: Female Posts: 668	Oh,Atticus- Could you please write an advice column,book,anything.- I just love to read your thoughts!! I must admit I have yet to get reading glasses. Not brave enough just yet-besides it's a challenge to squint and hold books two feet away!! Solitario-Wow,that stings!! I have those days to!!

12-04-2008, 04:15 PM	#8 (permalink)
WineKitty Status: Almost 10,000 Posts :) Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Alone Inside My Mind Gender: Female Posts: 9,967	I tried the progressive lenses and hated them with a passion. I am supposed to wear glasses but dont. I will wait until I am almost blind before that happens.

12-04-2008, 09:39 PM	#10 (permalink)
Maslow Status: SAS Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Denver Gender: Male Posts: 3,045	I was forced to get glasses about 9 years ago when I only got 5 out of 10 right on the drivers license eye test. Man, what a difference when I got them! I could actually read street signs without having to get out of the car. Now I have one pair for reading, one for working at the computer, and I'm getting bifocals for everything else. So that's not one of the good things about getting older. One good thing is: I'm no longer prematurely gray. I started getting gray hair when I was still in high school. (Thanks mom)

12-14-2008, 04:21 AM	#11 (permalink)
Mjh Status: SAS Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 8	- Older people are more interesting I find, not in what they do, but what they say. - The older I get, the more comfortable I feel with my place in the world. - I dont care as much, about a whole range of things. Fortunately those things that dont matter anyway.

12-15-2008, 11:14 PM	#12 (permalink)
kelso Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South East Queensland, Australia Posts: 217	Mjh has put it in a nut shell for me - totally agree.