Social Anxiety Support

dassant · 09-18-2008, 03:12 AM

WARNING! Reading this will either make you want to take a one-way trip down Cobain Lane or ignite an instant bonfire under your *** to finally wake up out of your uber-stupor and "do something with your life." I'm all for plumbing the depths of my own self-loathing and despair, but this guy is too much of a sad sack even for me. Ok then, you've been warned. Here it is.

dassant · 09-18-2008, 03:39 AM

OK. I'm reading some more of his stuff and I'm beginning to think he's putting on a character. Still makes you think, though.

Atticus · 09-18-2008, 08:39 AM

I actually enjoyed the long read in the first link. Probably because I sense a somewhat kindred spirit. I completely agree that the age of 50 sets new terms for your life. Old dreams, even fairly practical ones, seem mostly unachievable. The impractical ones that got you through the long nights, the promises of something much better, if not totally defined, that used to pull you through now seem silly or just wrong.

The author, though, seems mostly concerned with being a success so he can stay single and score with younger women, despite being a decrepit old codger

. Accomplishment seems to be a means to that specific end. So the terms change dramatically, whatever your terms are, but his terms and mine are dramatically different in the first place.

Now its possible that he's more centered, meaning that he thinks more like me

, and he's posing as an aging player who missed his best chance to play and now regrets it. Maybe he's posing as a guy who is just slightly more self aware than the aging swinger he rips, and he actually sees that his pose is just as unsightly. Or not?

dassant · 09-18-2008, 04:35 PM

Hi, Atticus. Yeah, I forgot to mention that first article is a long one! I get the feeling he's somewhat mocking the over-intellectualized, emotionally-disconnected attitude expressed in the piece. At times, he seems to be almost drowning in his own words with all the "one does this to oneself, etc." talk. I assume if he's a real writer/poet, he must derive some joy from producing his art and that seems to be entirely missing from his description of his life. All I know is that still being in my 30s, I greatly fear finding myself in a similar position in a decade. I don't really share the writer's self-limiting values either, but I still read his sad ramblings as a wake-up call, "real" or not.

kelso · 09-19-2008, 07:20 PM

Goodness me can't that bloke express himself well!
I found his thoughts quite interesting and much of it very close to the truth, even though I am of the fairer sex.
Didn't find it depressing, just food for thought.
I'll bet he is a pretty sane person if he can "dump" like that.

dassant · 09-20-2008, 03:30 PM

So why am I the only one who finds this article so depressing? Is it my immaturity? It's not like I'm failing to see the humor in it. I think I have a pretty decent sense of humor, but that doesn't stop me from often becoming consumed by the same bleak thoughts expressed in such detail in the piece. I'm finding myself beaten down more and more by thoughts about time and age lately. Perhaps I'm just thinking about it wrong. Or maybe I'm finally thinking about it "right" for once and it scares me? I kind of pride myself on being an ultimate truth-seeker, but whenever I discover what I think may be the truth about something important it usually doesn't turn out so well! I'm constantly tempted to flee back to a self-delusional way of thinking. But it sounds like that way of life is what led this guy to his current state of despair.

kelso · 09-21-2008, 08:05 PM

I don't think it's funny, it's not, but I admire the man for being able to spell out his thoughts so well.
As a person that is not real crash hot at this "expressing oneself" as "if I do no one will accept me" attitude, I find those who can quite inspiring.
You don't say how old you are. Believe me, anywhere from 45 to 50, everyone starts contemplating their navel. It seems to be a natural turn of events. Is it natures way of getting us to come to grips with the fact we are "on the way out?", so to speak, and giving us time to come to grips with this?
If you have SA it is a dreadful time to go through and it scares the hell out of you believe me.

09-18-2008, 03:12 AM	#1 (permalink)
dassant Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: SF Bay Area, CA Posts: 20	A VERY depressing essay on aging [link] WARNING! Reading this will either make you want to take a one-way trip down Cobain Lane or ignite an instant bonfire under your *** to finally wake up out of your uber-stupor and "do something with your life." I'm all for plumbing the depths of my own self-loathing and despair, but this guy is too much of a sad sack even for me. Ok then, you've been warned. Here it is.

09-18-2008, 03:39 AM	#2 (permalink)
dassant Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: SF Bay Area, CA Posts: 20	Re: A VERY depressing essay on aging [link] OK. I'm reading some more of his stuff and I'm beginning to think he's putting on a character. Still makes you think, though.

09-18-2008, 08:39 AM	#3 (permalink)
Atticus Status: under a sheltering sky Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: St. Louis Age: 52 Posts: 3,531	Re: A VERY depressing essay on aging [link] I actually enjoyed the long read in the first link. Probably because I sense a somewhat kindred spirit. I completely agree that the age of 50 sets new terms for your life. Old dreams, even fairly practical ones, seem mostly unachievable. The impractical ones that got you through the long nights, the promises of something much better, if not totally defined, that used to pull you through now seem silly or just wrong. The author, though, seems mostly concerned with being a success so he can stay single and score with younger women, despite being a decrepit old codger . Accomplishment seems to be a means to that specific end. So the terms change dramatically, whatever your terms are, but his terms and mine are dramatically different in the first place. Now its possible that he's more centered, meaning that he thinks more like me , and he's posing as an aging player who missed his best chance to play and now regrets it. Maybe he's posing as a guy who is just slightly more self aware than the aging swinger he rips, and he actually sees that his pose is just as unsightly. Or not? __________________ Basically I'm just gonna walk the earth. ....You know, like Caine in Kung Fu - walk from place to place, meet people, get in adventures." Jules after his epiphany

09-18-2008, 04:35 PM	#4 (permalink)
dassant Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: SF Bay Area, CA Posts: 20	Re: A VERY depressing essay on aging [link] Hi, Atticus. Yeah, I forgot to mention that first article is a long one! I get the feeling he's somewhat mocking the over-intellectualized, emotionally-disconnected attitude expressed in the piece. At times, he seems to be almost drowning in his own words with all the "one does this to oneself, etc." talk. I assume if he's a real writer/poet, he must derive some joy from producing his art and that seems to be entirely missing from his description of his life. All I know is that still being in my 30s, I greatly fear finding myself in a similar position in a decade. I don't really share the writer's self-limiting values either, but I still read his sad ramblings as a wake-up call, "real" or not.

09-19-2008, 07:20 PM	#5 (permalink)
kelso Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South East Queensland, Australia Posts: 217	Re: A VERY depressing essay on aging [link] Goodness me can't that bloke express himself well! I found his thoughts quite interesting and much of it very close to the truth, even though I am of the fairer sex. Didn't find it depressing, just food for thought. I'll bet he is a pretty sane person if he can "dump" like that.

09-20-2008, 03:30 PM	#6 (permalink)
dassant Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: SF Bay Area, CA Posts: 20	Re: A VERY depressing essay on aging [link] So why am I the only one who finds this article so depressing? Is it my immaturity? It's not like I'm failing to see the humor in it. I think I have a pretty decent sense of humor, but that doesn't stop me from often becoming consumed by the same bleak thoughts expressed in such detail in the piece. I'm finding myself beaten down more and more by thoughts about time and age lately. Perhaps I'm just thinking about it wrong. Or maybe I'm finally thinking about it "right" for once and it scares me? I kind of pride myself on being an ultimate truth-seeker, but whenever I discover what I think may be the truth about something important it usually doesn't turn out so well! I'm constantly tempted to flee back to a self-delusional way of thinking. But it sounds like that way of life is what led this guy to his current state of despair.

09-21-2008, 08:05 PM	#7 (permalink)
kelso Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: South East Queensland, Australia Posts: 217	Re: A VERY depressing essay on aging [link] I don't think it's funny, it's not, but I admire the man for being able to spell out his thoughts so well. As a person that is not real crash hot at this "expressing oneself" as "if I do no one will accept me" attitude, I find those who can quite inspiring. You don't say how old you are. Believe me, anywhere from 45 to 50, everyone starts contemplating their navel. It seems to be a natural turn of events. Is it natures way of getting us to come to grips with the fact we are "on the way out?", so to speak, and giving us time to come to grips with this? If you have SA it is a dreadful time to go through and it scares the hell out of you believe me.