Social Anxiety Support

tribute311 · 10-02-2009, 01:26 AM

i'm so quiet in labs. i don't do anything in labs. my lab group probably thinks im weird. last night, i worked with them writing up the lab report for 4 hours. all i did was just sit there! the stuff was hard to understand and i couldn't contribute much (i'm quiet and dumb haha) the other two guys ended up doing all the work. i felt bad. i felt so useless. these kind of things make me depressed. anyone else can relate?

Efsee · 10-02-2009, 08:35 AM

I'm working in a lab group too. You could come prepared with a section like the introduction or conclusion complete, or at least outlined so that you'd be contributing more. If you're having trouble understanding it you could look the topic up online and study so you have a better grasp of it.

Jimbe · 10-02-2009, 10:00 AM

Yeah, I think I come across as lazy to other people when in group work, when it's a real struggle to get my ideas in

I prefer to work with just me

rctriplefresh5 · 10-02-2009, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tribute311

i'm so quiet in labs. i don't do anything in labs. my lab group probably thinks im weird. last night, i worked with them writing up the lab report for 4 hours. all i did was just sit there! the stuff was hard to understand and i couldn't contribute much (i'm quiet and dumb haha) the other two guys ended up doing all the work. i felt bad. i felt so useless. these kind of things make me depressed. anyone else can relate?

OMG I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE. i am the exact same way, i feel so useless and everything, because in a 3 hour lab i just stand there with a dazed look on my face pretending im trying to answer questions, even though im to stupid to ha.

one day i did the post labs questions a day before we had the actual lab and gave my group the answers so i wouldnt feel so useless. unfortunately they didnt trust me and checked my answers out.....butt hey were right

.

bezoomny · 10-02-2009, 03:07 PM

I always try to work alone, if possible. If I'm put in a group, I'll get the work done as quickly as possible by myself, say to the group, "here are the answers" and leave. Consequently everyone wants me in their group. :/

Catlover4100 · 10-02-2009, 03:47 PM

I'm sort of the opposite. I had the highest grade in chemistry class, so everyone wanted to be my lab partner. But when I get doing a lab, I become another person entirely. I want everything to be perfect, so I kind of take charge and end up yelling at my partner if they are being careless or doing something incorrectly. I'm really a nice person, and wouldn't normally be rude to anyone, but I get so caught up in precision. After people worked with me they had to weigh their options to see if another good grade was worth it lol!

meowgirl · 10-02-2009, 03:50 PM

oh i definitely know what you mean

i'm always so jittery in labs and my experiments always go wrong

not to mention the TA hates me and he, for some reason, watches me. It's really weird and he does it only to me and it makes me freeze up : < I definitely know what you mean^^

heyJude · 10-02-2009, 08:55 PM

I can relate. I always dread lab days. Even though I've read over the lab the previous day, I still feel like I don't really understand how to do anything. Chemistry my freshman year was horrible. I always felt like I didn't know what in the world I was doing, but always acted like I was doing something so people wouldn't think I was this dumb loser. When I had to work in lab groups, I stayed really quiet. Half of the time, I didn't know what was going on, so I thought it was best to just keep my trap shut instead of saying something stupid and humiliating myself even more...

SilentLoner · 10-02-2009, 10:05 PM

Ugh I'm in the same situation, biology lab. I struggle with most of the things we do and following directions but at least I'm not the worst one in my group (there's four of us). I volunteer to do stuff like get the materials for the lab.

rctriplefresh5 · 10-04-2009, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rctriplefresh5

OMG I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE. i am the exact same way, i feel so useless and everything, because in a 3 hour lab i just stand there with a dazed look on my face pretending im trying to answer questions, even though im to stupid to ha.

one day i did the post labs questions a day before we had the actual lab and gave my group the answers so i wouldnt feel so useless. unfortunately they didnt trust me and checked my answers out.....butt hey were right

.

whats funny isd my lab ''partner'' said she felt sick last class i nthe middle of the lab and she asked if i wouldnt mind doing the lab by myself..i started thinking to myself i dont know how to do this, and said. i mtired to!! no way i can finish this on my own, come on well get through this we're almost done!

she stayed./ i put partner in quotes because im useless.

ohpewp · 10-06-2009, 08:07 PM

I only have to take two classes with required labs. I'm working on one, gen. ed. biology, right now. It's been okay so far. Everyone just works with whoever they're sitting by, if they have to. And I've ended up with lab partners/groups by accident or by default, just because of where I was sitting.

That's one of my worst fears about lab days--ending up in that terrible situation where you don't have a partner or group when you're supposed to and you're panicking and wondering if you should ask someone to join, ask the teacher, or just go about your business and hope no one notices.

shy67 · 10-06-2009, 08:57 PM

I am the sam way in labs. I always feel really nervous before lab and want to contribute but have trouble speaking up. I also feel like I'm kind of slow at doing things because I'm always afraid of making a mistake. This is sort of bad since I'm a medical technology major (lab tech.) but I hope if I do it enough I will get used to it and it will be ok. The funny thing is that my TA in chem. asked me if I wanted to work in his lab. I was so surprised because I always finished last and was always messing up or not finishing experiments. However, I did have the highest grade in the class. I didn't work in his lab due to SA. I regret that but was too scared to do it.

tribute311 · 10-08-2009, 02:21 AM

Thanks for sharing all your stories. makes me feel a little better that I'm not the only one who has problems with this!

Man, our lab groups are permanent for the whole semester. There's three of us. I don't really like one of the guys in my group. He's not mean or anything; I just don't click with him. He's not that inclusive either' he does most of the work himself. The other guy is okay. I'm kinda bummed because I have friend in the same lab period, but he's in another group! Ic ould have been with my friend instead of dealing with new people.

Anyways, I still don't do much. I just try to chip in whenever I can. I ask my group if they want me to do anything, so i at least show that I'm willing to help. I don't know...it's just another challenge in life we have to try to overcome.

shyvr6 · 10-08-2009, 03:07 PM

My proffessor puts all of our names in random.org so we'll get new people each time.

TheForgotten · 10-08-2009, 10:47 PM

I feel somewhat the same thing, I do understand the things often but I got trouble spewing out my idea's. I usually end up waiting for so long to finally say: "Maybe you should try it this way to get it to work.".
I just sit there, trying to give tips and ask questions from the sideline, just to be a little involved.

Neptunus · 10-08-2009, 10:52 PM

Ugh, I always hated lab! Especially organic chemistry!!!! I feel for you.

telefy · 10-10-2009, 10:30 AM

I was the same way. I hated doing the labs, and it was really hard for me to read the material ahead of time. Not only that, but when I did know something the others didn't, I wasn't confident enough to correct them.

I think the trick is to memorize the materials and immediately say something like "I'll go get the beacers and stuff." Or what ever it is someone will need to retrieve, so you atleast did something that day.

All throughout the labs I thought that someone else was "in charge" and that I shouldn't do anything unless someone else asked me to, but that just isn't how it works. Everyone had the same ambition "to complete all the lab work" and everyone independatly did what they saw was the next step.

Not knowing what the steps are before hand was the biggest problem. If I could do it again I would re-write the procedure in a step by step list of "things someone could accomplish on there own." I'd go do it right now with my old stuff, but I should be doing current work, lol.

Rixy · 10-10-2009, 12:36 PM

Thought I was the only one with these problems. Thank God I'm not alone. My usual lab partners in GCSE were kind of control freaks and did everything so I didn't worry too much about that. If we're in groups I would usually get the equipment out and set everything up. Then when it was done I'd put everything away. Just the basic stuff. Now I'm doing A Level Chemistry, learning titration. I best make sure that I do everything right this year and not mess up.

TheForgotten · 10-11-2009, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by telefy

I think the trick is to memorize the materials and immediately say something like "I'll go get the beacers and stuff." Or what ever it is someone will need to retrieve, so you atleast did something that day.

Man, I guess it's common with SA to do this

I never want to do stuff where I can **** up, so as said, I do the basic stuff. Always saying "I'll get it" and pretend you're on the wagon. I think it's because if you'd do it and it wouldn't work or something goes horribly wrong, that you are not the centre of attention.

Sydney s · 10-12-2009, 07:35 PM

I love most labs, but I love science so even at times when I feel like I'm not contributing anything, I'm still having some fun.

Maybe this will make you feel better: Over the summer, I took bio and the lab final required a fetal pig dissection. As I was cutting down the abdomen, the scalpel head broke and flew across the table. I blushed and started laughing. I was the only one laughing, which made me feel immature, but no one made an issue out of it.

Anyways, I had the same problem as you did. I forced myself to be more assertive and started doing small tasks and eventually had some control over the experiments. Start small to build confidence and go from there. Also, read the chapters before labs and if you're still not sure of the material, relate what you do know. There's nothing wrong with asking partners. It shows them you're taking an interest so they won't count you out completely or hold it against you for not participating as much.

10-02-2009, 01:26 AM	#1 (permalink)
tribute311 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Los Angeles Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 206	useless in labs i'm so quiet in labs. i don't do anything in labs. my lab group probably thinks im weird. last night, i worked with them writing up the lab report for 4 hours. all i did was just sit there! the stuff was hard to understand and i couldn't contribute much (i'm quiet and dumb haha) the other two guys ended up doing all the work. i felt bad. i felt so useless. these kind of things make me depressed. anyone else can relate?

10-02-2009, 10:00 AM	#3 (permalink)
Jimbe Status: Busy being useless Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: United Kingdom Gender: Male Age: 16 Posts: 141	Yeah, I think I come across as lazy to other people when in group work, when it's a real struggle to get my ideas in I prefer to work with just me __________________ Traditional nationalism cannot survive the fissioning of the atom. One world or none. ~Stuart Chase Life is cruel

10-02-2009, 03:07 PM	#5 (permalink)
bezoomny Status: the new disease Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Mississippi Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 2,814	I always try to work alone, if possible. If I'm put in a group, I'll get the work done as quickly as possible by myself, say to the group, "here are the answers" and leave. Consequently everyone wants me in their group. :/ __________________ bravo - echo - zulu - oscar - oscar - mike - november - yankee

10-02-2009, 03:47 PM	#6 (permalink)
Catlover4100 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Gasport, NY Gender: Female Age: 17 Posts: 348	I'm sort of the opposite. I had the highest grade in chemistry class, so everyone wanted to be my lab partner. But when I get doing a lab, I become another person entirely. I want everything to be perfect, so I kind of take charge and end up yelling at my partner if they are being careless or doing something incorrectly. I'm really a nice person, and wouldn't normally be rude to anyone, but I get so caught up in precision. After people worked with me they had to weigh their options to see if another good grade was worth it lol! __________________ If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days. ~Sylvia Plath

10-02-2009, 03:50 PM	#7 (permalink)
meowgirl Status: legend of the seas Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 134	oh i definitely know what you mean i'm always so jittery in labs and my experiments always go wrong not to mention the TA hates me and he, for some reason, watches me. It's really weird and he does it only to me and it makes me freeze up : < I definitely know what you mean^^ __________________ Because I'm easy come, easy go

10-02-2009, 08:35 AM	#2 (permalink)
Efsee Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Female Age: 19 Posts: 333	I'm working in a lab group too. You could come prepared with a section like the introduction or conclusion complete, or at least outlined so that you'd be contributing more. If you're having trouble understanding it you could look the topic up online and study so you have a better grasp of it.

10-02-2009, 08:55 PM	#8 (permalink)
heyJude Status: Doodling in the corner. Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Female Age: 24 Posts: 184	I can relate. I always dread lab days. Even though I've read over the lab the previous day, I still feel like I don't really understand how to do anything. Chemistry my freshman year was horrible. I always felt like I didn't know what in the world I was doing, but always acted like I was doing something so people wouldn't think I was this dumb loser. When I had to work in lab groups, I stayed really quiet. Half of the time, I didn't know what was going on, so I thought it was best to just keep my trap shut instead of saying something stupid and humiliating myself even more...

10-02-2009, 10:05 PM	#9 (permalink)
SilentLoner Status: Otaku Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Lost in thought, though occasionally I may be located at an anime convention. Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 2,451	Ugh I'm in the same situation, biology lab. I struggle with most of the things we do and following directions but at least I'm not the worst one in my group (there's four of us). I volunteer to do stuff like get the materials for the lab. __________________ "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.” -Plato "When a cold wind blows it chills you - chills you to the bone. But there's nothing in nature that freezes your heart like years of being alone." OTAKU UNITE! “We honor Dr. Tiller’s legacy of service to women.” Dr. George Tiller 1941 -2009 Memorial Web Page http://www.iamdrtiller.com/ http://www.remembertiller.com/

10-06-2009, 08:07 PM	#11 (permalink)
ohpewp Status: Somewhat Human Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Arkansas Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 263	I only have to take two classes with required labs. I'm working on one, gen. ed. biology, right now. It's been okay so far. Everyone just works with whoever they're sitting by, if they have to. And I've ended up with lab partners/groups by accident or by default, just because of where I was sitting. That's one of my worst fears about lab days--ending up in that terrible situation where you don't have a partner or group when you're supposed to and you're panicking and wondering if you should ask someone to join, ask the teacher, or just go about your business and hope no one notices.

10-06-2009, 08:57 PM	#12 (permalink)
shy67 Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 62	I am the sam way in labs. I always feel really nervous before lab and want to contribute but have trouble speaking up. I also feel like I'm kind of slow at doing things because I'm always afraid of making a mistake. This is sort of bad since I'm a medical technology major (lab tech.) but I hope if I do it enough I will get used to it and it will be ok. The funny thing is that my TA in chem. asked me if I wanted to work in his lab. I was so surprised because I always finished last and was always messing up or not finishing experiments. However, I did have the highest grade in the class. I didn't work in his lab due to SA. I regret that but was too scared to do it.

10-08-2009, 02:21 AM	#13 (permalink)
tribute311 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Los Angeles Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 206	Thanks for sharing all your stories. makes me feel a little better that I'm not the only one who has problems with this! Man, our lab groups are permanent for the whole semester. There's three of us. I don't really like one of the guys in my group. He's not mean or anything; I just don't click with him. He's not that inclusive either' he does most of the work himself. The other guy is okay. I'm kinda bummed because I have friend in the same lab period, but he's in another group! Ic ould have been with my friend instead of dealing with new people. Anyways, I still don't do much. I just try to chip in whenever I can. I ask my group if they want me to do anything, so i at least show that I'm willing to help. I don't know...it's just another challenge in life we have to try to overcome.

10-08-2009, 03:07 PM	#14 (permalink)
shyvr6 Status: Makin Waves Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Somewhere on a map. Gender: Male Posts: 9,645	My proffessor puts all of our names in random.org so we'll get new people each time. __________________ Music

10-08-2009, 10:47 PM	#15 (permalink)
TheForgotten Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Belgium Gender: Male Age: 17 Posts: 9	I feel somewhat the same thing, I do understand the things often but I got trouble spewing out my idea's. I usually end up waiting for so long to finally say: "Maybe you should try it this way to get it to work.". I just sit there, trying to give tips and ask questions from the sideline, just to be a little involved.

10-08-2009, 10:52 PM	#16 (permalink)
Neptunus Status: Authenticating Join Date: Oct 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 2,837	Ugh, I always hated lab! Especially organic chemistry!!!! I feel for you. __________________ "When I stand before thee at the day's end, thou shalt see my scars and know that I had my wounds and also my healing." ~Rabindranath Tagore "Being gentle means forgiving yourself when you mess up. We should learn from our mistakes, but we shouldn't beat the tar out of ourselves over them. The past is just that, past. Learn what went wrong and why. Make amends if you need to. Then drop it and move on." ---Sean Covey

10-10-2009, 10:30 AM	#17 (permalink)
telefy Status: A safe distance Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Minnesota Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 28	I was the same way. I hated doing the labs, and it was really hard for me to read the material ahead of time. Not only that, but when I did know something the others didn't, I wasn't confident enough to correct them. I think the trick is to memorize the materials and immediately say something like "I'll go get the beacers and stuff." Or what ever it is someone will need to retrieve, so you atleast did something that day. All throughout the labs I thought that someone else was "in charge" and that I shouldn't do anything unless someone else asked me to, but that just isn't how it works. Everyone had the same ambition "to complete all the lab work" and everyone independatly did what they saw was the next step. Not knowing what the steps are before hand was the biggest problem. If I could do it again I would re-write the procedure in a step by step list of "things someone could accomplish on there own." I'd go do it right now with my old stuff, but I should be doing current work, lol.

10-10-2009, 12:36 PM	#18 (permalink)
Rixy Status: Falling into Guru Muhk Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: UK Gender: Male Age: 17 Posts: 214	Thought I was the only one with these problems. Thank God I'm not alone. My usual lab partners in GCSE were kind of control freaks and did everything so I didn't worry too much about that. If we're in groups I would usually get the equipment out and set everything up. Then when it was done I'd put everything away. Just the basic stuff. Now I'm doing A Level Chemistry, learning titration. I best make sure that I do everything right this year and not mess up. __________________ Will you say hello to my ma? Will you pay a visit to her? She was an artist just as you were I'd have introduced you to her She would take me out on Sundays We'd go laughing through the garbage She repaired legs like a doctor On the kitchen chairs we sat on She was unhappy just as you were unhappy just as you were unhappy just as you were unhappy just as you were... -Jane's Addiction (Then She Did...)

10-12-2009, 07:35 PM	#20 (permalink)
Sydney s Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Chicago Gender: Male Age: 26 Posts: 24	I love most labs, but I love science so even at times when I feel like I'm not contributing anything, I'm still having some fun. Maybe this will make you feel better: Over the summer, I took bio and the lab final required a fetal pig dissection. As I was cutting down the abdomen, the scalpel head broke and flew across the table. I blushed and started laughing. I was the only one laughing, which made me feel immature, but no one made an issue out of it. Anyways, I had the same problem as you did. I forced myself to be more assertive and started doing small tasks and eventually had some control over the experiments. Start small to build confidence and go from there. Also, read the chapters before labs and if you're still not sure of the material, relate what you do know. There's nothing wrong with asking partners. It shows them you're taking an interest so they won't count you out completely or hold it against you for not participating as much.