UNIQUE Difficulties in Organic Chemistry Lab

[bourbon bait]

Hi, this is my first post. I'm generally more of a blog/message board reader than a contributor, but there's really been something that has been eating away at me, making it difficult for me sleep at night. (Note: long post coming up)

Last semester in Organic Chemistry I, I made a huge error, which caused an explosion that had the potential to really hurt someone (no one was hurt, thankfully, because I placed the shield down, as I always do, when I operate that machine). It was on a "TONS-OF-RAM" pressure-exerting device that compresses finely powdered solids into a disk than can be fed into an IR machine. Like many of the lab-related posts I dug up on this website, I do suffer from SA and so I appear more frustrated and lost during labs. So, all in all, I looked like the lab lackey that everyone felt sorry for last semester. It takes me a tad bit longer to follow instructions, but while I tend to be one of the last ones to finish the lab, I am by not by any means unusually slow.

This semester, I took steps towards being prepared for labs ahead of time and I am generally comfortable with the labs I am doing. However, my lab instructor and lab assistant seemed to already have me pegged as a disaster case. I am constantly told to "read the directions" by my instructor even though the questions I raise are not questions that even my fellow labmates can answer (and asking my lab mates first before approaching the lab instructor is how I know my questions aren't unreasonable). I suspect I look lost and confused because my countenance during concentration is that of a grimace. Consider the following cases:

1. I was given an unknown compound, different from the ones my classmates received, and the goal was for me to use certain tests to figure out the identity of the compound. I ran a 2,4-DNP test and got a negative for ketones and aldehydes. I continued on to other tests and later asked my professor of my progress. He asked if I heated the 2,4-DNP test tubes and I said no, to which he responded with an annoyed tone of voice that I should "read the directions." So I reconduct the test and realized that the tests revealed a positive. I told him that I really should have followed the directions all the way through and I didn't know why I didn't carry them through: "I was just impatient, I guess" is what I told him.

A few days later, I realized that I didn't follow through because the lab assistant told me that heating was "generally unnecessary, although you could do it if you wanted," and that (!) was the real reason why I didn't follow through. What was implicit in her message was that doing so was not the most efficient use of time.

2. Later on in the experiment I was running the appropriate derivative test to confirm the compound from two possible remaining compounds I had narrowed down. I was doing a recrystallization and I encountered a novel situation of the solution "popping," and a drop of the solution had already bounced out of the Erlenmeyer onto the hot plate (not safe). So I lowered the temperature and considered out loud that perhaps I should drop a boiling chip into the solution. A lab mate who is considered to have better laboratory techniques (who had already finished the lab) counseled against it and came up to me and showed me how to control the popping by using a glass pipette and lightly scratching the bottom the Erlenmeyer during heating... only to have the professor come up to me as remark that "this is not how a recrystallization is done." He basically sat down and did the recrystallization for me. I stood there next to him looking helpless.

I am aware that the a recrystallization requires a rolling boil, but I have never recrystallized from a solution that pops out the Erlenmeyer, and in the context of this situation, I lowered the temperature dial for a bit to get everything under control first. The professor didn't even give me a chance to explain. The lab mate who initially tried to help and saw the whole thing basically apologized, but I realized at that moment that while the professor generally assists other classmates with a softer tone, I don't get benefit of a helpful attitude.

3. Properly reading the labels of a reagent bottle is an important skill in lab. Mistaking one label for another with a slightly different name can have disasterous effects. I misread a label once, and got the same annoyed reaction from my lab professor, only to have someone, who is considered to have superior lab skills by the professor, whisper in consolation that he, in fact, had made the same error (but was not caught).

All in all, I had made it a point to be extra safe this semester by reading the instructions more than once and by asking the lab assistant or professor when I had even the slightest bit of doubt. I just want to note that in lecture, he is one of the best professors I've ever had: kind, understanding, entertaining, and able to teach very well. In lab, however, he is less sympathetic and much more judgemental. He basically said at the end of the semester that laboratory isn't my area.

The only thing running through my mind right now is that he will continue to find more mistakes if he continues to watch over me EXPECTING to find something wrong. The lab assistant will actually come up and look at the bottle of solution I've taken out to make sure I didn't misread.

NOW, I WILL NOTE HOW THIS POST DIFFERS FROM THE MANY SIMILAR OTHERS POSTED ON THE SITE: I'm a bit weak in lab, but this is something I want to do. Lab itself isn't a nightmare for me like a few others have posted. It is the opinions/attitude of the instructor that makes it a living hell. Most people gravitate towards things they are good at, but my interests are not dictated by my general aptitude. So, to have a generally easygoing instructor tell me in a serious tone of voice that I just don't have what it takes to work in a lab is quite traumatic. I've heard many say that in terms of lab, you either can do it or you can't, but I refuse to believe that a lab class is different from any other class. If you fail, you'll just have to retake it. I don't think any instructor goes up to his/her failing students, whether it's psychology or english, that they just don't have what it takes to study that respective field. Failing one class is hardly grounds for the university administration to drop a student from a major (I am actually at a junior college, though).

Anyone here with advice? I look up to my professors/instructors as life mentors, as well, and when the relationship gets slightly less than amicable, it becomes quite the traumatic situation. And if my SA and lack of affability is the culprit, what should I do? A good friend has told me that my tone of voice comes out as condescending sometimes, even though she knows I am not trying to communicate such a sentiment. But like the speech impediment I also have of lisping, it is not something I can correct if I can't even hear it myself.

[cavemanslaststand]

I finished reading your post .

Are you getting passing marks in the lab? If so, just move on. Remember the lab is just an exercise, and your instructors/professors are temporarily paid to work with you and otherwise don't really care about your future fork in the road. Therefore, don't over-promote them to "life mentor" status.

College orgo chem labs are compulsory and tedious exercises done around way too much noise and commotion, and it's no wonder we have performance anxiety and sometimes get catatonic just showing up to the stupid lab.

Industrial labs are much quieter, and you generally have lots of time analyzing and thinking about stuff with fewer time and resource constraints in a structured setting, and we can take as many coffee and cigarette (and beer ) breaks as we want.

The college lab has always been my enemy. This may sound like a contradiction given I graduated in chemical engineering and chemistry.

I also have a lisping issue.

I eventually had to go back to school to do computer science and electrical engineering because I just got tired working around reagents (Industrial grade chemical bottles are expensive, and I couldn't get my mind off the dollars per bottles). Besides, I wanted to work while smoking and drinking beers (such as programming computers).

Good luck. Remember some people still do okay in applied chem fields such as pharmacy because they persist through stuff, not because they let professor and instructor comments stop them from progressing. I remembered how many people moved onto applied chem fields such as medicine when at first in orgo chem labs they looked like relatively speaking "retarded" at lab chemistry.

[Samtrix]

Originally Posted by cavemanslaststand

Remember the lab is just an exercise, and your instructors/professors are temporarily paid to work with you and otherwise don't really care about your future fork in the road. Therefore, don't over-promote them to "life mentor" status.

Agreed. Even if you really like and respect the prof, don't promote them to "life mentor" just because they're a prof. Especially since you're in only junior college. I found that labs in university were much better. If you want a job in a lab, I expect that there'd be less pressure from someone looking over your shoulder constantly, so concentrate on doing your best for now, pass the class, and move on.
I was constantly one of the last one to finish labs, even though I liked chemistry class. I'd read the manual over and over, watch the demonstration closely, then go blank as soon as I was about to start the lab. Once I moved on to university with smaller labs and better profs, I was much better at labs. I'm not sure if you're comfortable telling your prof that you have SA, but I've found that it helps quite a bit. Maybe let him know that you're capable of doing the labs, but that your anxiety disorder makes it difficult to perform under the stress of having every move scrutinized.

[carambola]

Originally Posted by Samtrix

I'm not sure if you're comfortable telling your prof that you have SA, but I've found that it helps quite a bit. Maybe let him know that you're capable of doing the labs, but that your anxiety disorder makes it difficult to perform under the stress of having every move scrutinized.

Yeah, I'd do this if you can. It may not help, but it should if he really is a kind and understanding person.

[Samtrix]

Some profs are very understanding. I had to do a presentation in english class and was being marked partly on making eye contact with the audience. I told the prof that I had severe social phobia and that making eye contact made me extremely nervous. I did my presentation pretty much holding my notes in front of my face, didn't look up once. When I finished my prof said "good job" and I got a great grade on it. And my french teacher let me do presentations in her office, alone. It definitely doesn't hurt to let them know, and they appreciate the effort, rather than you just refusing to do the work (which I know isn't your case). Be warned, there are occasionally the profs who's reply is "but there's nothing to worry about," and expect that to cure your anxiety.

[Xmsbby]

Originally Posted by Samtrix

I was constantly one of the last one to finish labs, even though I liked chemistry class. I'd read the manual over and over, watch the demonstration closely, then go blank as soon as I was about to start the lab.

Same here :/ I'm usu the last or one of the last ones to finish. I'd go really prepared but when I'm there I just end up doing everything slow and keep looking at the protocols even though I studied it beforehand.

BUT then again, some of the others help each other out, and some even skip parts and copy off of others so maybe I'm not that slow ^^. but I did get discouraged at some point and was thinking of not doing research w my prof this summer bc of the anxiety I get while in lab

... And I agree, you should try speaking to ur prof about ur SA