Professor called me neurotic on Facebook... - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-17-2017, 10:41 PM Thread Starter
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Professor called me neurotic on Facebook...

I haven't posted anything in a while, but it's late and I have no one to vent to. I was already nervous about talking to him because he's basically the only male professor I've had in a long time and he's really loud and talkative. I was just nervous about an upcoming exam and needed some reassurance and was having a lot of difficulty formulating the questions I wanted answered. I was stammering and sweating the whole time I was there, and I was still really wired long after I left. I tried to calm myself down by telling myself that I'm the only person who saw anything wrong with my behavior, but apparently not. He posted my grade on the first exam on his Facebook page and said I was neurotically asking questions for 45 minutes. I there for 30 minutes at most, and that's just because he felt the need to summarize everything we had discussed since the last exam even though I never asked him to. Ughhhh. He didn't post my name, but still.
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post #2 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 06:23 AM Thread Starter
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Bump? Still really bothered by this. I have to see him tomorrow and take my exam.
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post #3 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 06:28 AM
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Hmm weird.....why would he post on his fb page?

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post #4 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 06:28 AM
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Very confused by this post. Is he angry at you? Why is he posting your de-identified exam grade on facebook? That sounds obnoxious. Does he know you can view his facebook page?
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post #5 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 06:40 AM Thread Starter
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He posted my grade because he doesn't think I have any reason to be worried about the upcoming exam. I don't think he's angry with me. Just annoyed. He said I needed to take a chill pill or something. I don't remember exactly and I'm not about to look it up again.

I guess he doesn't realize that his Facebook profile is public. My feelings are really hurt and I'm feeling discouraged.
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post #6 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 06:43 AM
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Hmm seems a little unprofessional. Don't let him get to you though, good luck on the exam .

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post #7 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 06:55 AM Thread Starter
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Hmm seems a little unprofessional. Don't let him get to you though, good luck on the exam .
Thanks. But it's already gotten to me, and I don't know how to talk myself down. I feel like he thinks I'm crazy. "Neurotic" is a really strong word. I sit in the front row in his class. Don't want to be there knowing he thinks that about me.
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post #8 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 07:13 AM
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Some professors hate their jobs and have a hard time hiding it. I know it feels personal but try your best to not hold it personally. I teach students privately and don't believe there is a bad question. I actually love when a student really wants to understand something so might ask the same thing again until they understand it. I also know from myself that I struggled in school so sympathize with the student who doesn't fully understand as long as they are trying and not just being lazy about it (a huge pet peeve). I think this incident reflects much more on your teacher than it does on you.
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post #9 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 07:29 AM Thread Starter
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Some professors hate their jobs and have a hard time hiding it. I know it feels personal but try your best to not hold it personally. I teach students privately and don't believe there is a bad question. I actually love when a student really wants to understand something so might ask the same thing again until they understand it. I also know from myself that I struggled in school so sympathize with the student who doesn't fully understand as long as they are trying and not just being lazy about it (a huge pet peeve). I think this incident reflects much more on your teacher than it does on you.
That was very helpful. Thank you.
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post #10 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 07:33 AM
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I feel like he thinks I'm crazy. "Neurotic" is a really strong word.
People have a way of using strong language when it's not actually warranted or accurate. It's embellishment, and it's a very common (and effective) mechanism in communication. How do you think Donald Trump got into office? It's the best thing ever -- believe me.

It does not mean he actually thinks you're crazy.

But, even if he does...

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I sit in the front row in his class. Don't want to be there knowing he thinks that about me.
What's the worst thing that can happen if this is what he thinks of you?

All the more reason to give you a good grade. He's not going to want to chance that you'll retake the class, then, is he.

Go ahead and be crazy.


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post #11 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 07:33 AM
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Thanks. But it's already gotten to me, and I don't know how to talk myself down. I feel like he thinks I'm crazy. "Neurotic" is a really strong word. I sit in the front row in his class. Don't want to be there knowing he thinks that about me.
Not everyone will understand you and many will judge but you can't let that bring you down. Plus I'm thinking the class is almost out? No? Won't see him for too much longer .

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post #12 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 07:45 AM Thread Starter
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People have a way of using strong language when it's not actually warranted or accurate. It's embellishment, and it's a very common (and effective) mechanism in communication. How do you think Donald Trump got into office? It's the best thing ever -- believe me.

It does not mean he actually thinks you're crazy.
He's a psychology professor, so it was just easier to take it to heart. Thank you for putting it in perspective.
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post #13 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 07:51 AM
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He's a psychology professor, so it was just easier to take it to heart.
I wouldn't put much stock in that.

As the adage goes, "Those who can't do, teach."

Unless he has his Master's or a doctorate in psychology, he's probably just teaching out of a book.


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post #14 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 07:54 AM
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Unless he has his Master's or a doctorate in psychology, he's probably just teaching out of a book.
I thought all college professor's had to have at least their Master's?

Don't think I've ever had one or heard of one that didn't....hmm.

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post #15 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 08:10 AM
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I thought all college professor's had to have at least their Master's?

Don't think I've ever had one or heard of one that didn't....hmm.
They may have their Master's in something, but not necessarily the topic being taught -- especially if this is a community college.

Some time ago, I worked at a college as an office assistant, and the professors I worked with would tell stories about being bounced around to different courses. The social sciences were the main offender for this (not everyone can teach calculus, but most would be capable of psychology, anthropology, and the like). They'd be asked if they could do it the following semester, and then they'd give themselves a crash course about it over the summer. The course material would already be prepared, so all they needed to do was figure out how to deliver it.


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post #16 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 08:13 AM
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They may have their Master's in something, but not necessarily the topic being taught -- especially if this is a community college.

Some time ago, I worked at a college as an office assistant, and the professors I worked with would tell stories about being bounced around to different courses. The social sciences were the main offender for this (not everyone can teach calculus, but most would be capable of psychology, anthropology, and the like). They'd be asked if they could do it the following semester, and then they'd give themselves a crash course about it over the summer. The course material would already be prepared, so all they needed to do was figure out how to deliver it.
Hmm interesting.

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post #17 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 08:21 AM Thread Starter
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He's a psychology professor, so it was just easier to take it to heart.
I wouldn't put much stock in that.

As the adage goes, "Those who can't do, teach."

Unless he has his Master's or a doctorate in psychology, he's probably just teaching out of a book.
He has a doctorate. He actually wrote our reading material for the course. I went back and read the whole post, and it was worse than I thought. The comments were even worse than that. I'm just going to try not to think about it for now. Need to study more.

Thank you all for all your help!
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post #18 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 08:33 AM
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The comments were even worse than that.
Just bandwagoning and sheep behaviour... If you made a public Facebook post about this, yourself, and it got enough attention, you'd see comments attacking him for his insensitivity.

The comments don't reflect upon you. They're just doing what most people do -- going whatever direction the wind is blowing without giving much actual independent thought to it.


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post #19 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 08:44 AM
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It's actually really unprofessional on his part to post something like that. If you brought it up to him he would more than likely be very ashamed.

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.
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post #20 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 02:47 PM
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report him to the school, that idiot thinks he can get away with it, once a doctor disrespected me after I told him the symptoms I have then he said a lot of crap and that it was all in my head and it turned out I was right and he was wrong and they found physical evidence on a test, next time I saw him he said they found something wrong and should me the ultrasound they did, that guy is an idiot for doubting me
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