Social Anxiety Support

Retronia · 01-27-2012, 06:15 AM

So I attented University this year with high expectaiotns.
ooh the failure! ( but not in me).
All my classmates are kind of stupid.
I thought people at universitys are clever, open minded.
My classmates dont read books. !!!!
They dont even speak any other language!!! (I am not from an english speaking country).
They dont watch classic movies / TV shows, they dont even know history as good as I thought!!!!
And they dont read books!!!!!!!

They dont know things which are pretty important for our study!
I cant come with a good example right now, but there were times like "why do people like this even study?"

Is it me, that I have high expectations in people?
Or ...I dont know. This makes me a hard time to find some friends in my Uni.

Resonance · 01-27-2012, 06:39 AM

I felt like that in first year...you would be surprised how well people who apparently know nothing about a subject start doing in the later years.

JimmyDeansRetartedCousin · 01-27-2012, 10:17 AM

Maybe you're a little bit maturer than them, since you've come from a different country then maybe certain aspects of your upbringing and values are slightly more advanced, try not to be so judgemental.

Or maybe you're the stupid one, and they're all just extremely good at switching the fold from academia to apatheia..

shiori123 · 01-27-2012, 05:04 PM

I don't know which country you're attending university in, but in US, it's very common for people to only speak English. Most people take at least a couple years of a foreign language in middle school and high school, but it is generally not taught at a high enough level for students to become fluent. On the other hand, there are also many people here who know a second or even third language because their parents are from foreign backgrounds. It all depends one's particular upbringing.

Also, in my opinion, reading books does not make you intelligent, nor does watching classic movies or TV shows. It might make one more cultured or knowledgeable (in a general sense), but that does not necessarily predict how well one does in his or her studies. I've known people who spend most of their free time playing video games, but do extremely well in school.

And finally, I don't think you have to be particularly smart to attend college (at least in the US). I know that in many other countries (for example many Asian countries), you need to work much harder in high school to get into a "good" college than you would need to here. On the other hand, I do think college, especially the first couple of years, tends to separate out the higher achievers who actually care about their studies from those who don't really care, and just kind of drifted in from high school because their parents expected them to or whatever. I think as you continue along with your studies, and get to more advanced classes, you'll find more and more people who really value their education and are more similar-minded to you.

Pharoah · 01-27-2012, 09:56 PM

I think you are having high expectations. Many kids these days just dont care about books or history etc.

jg43i9jghy0t4555 · 01-29-2012, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Retronia

Is it me, that I have high expectations in people?
Or ...I dont know. This makes me a hard time to find some friends in my Uni.

Maybe something to do with passion for the subject?

I felt like that, but it turns out the subject itself as well as the teaching format (tests, paying attention to crappy examples) really wasn't for me..

And I didn't even end up wanting a career in game design or the software engineering part of game development anyway,

and actually, a lot of people even in Game Design courses are stepping into the crazy and far-from-dreamlike world. That I am now getting far away from. Some people like the kind of jobs in the industry, and that's great, it's amazing we have human beings like that. But I don't think it's really that good and all.

I was far ahead of almost everyone but they caught up in what they are being taught.. whether that makes them a good judge of what's good work is an entirely different thing. The uni I went to will churn out people that function in jobs that pay them, all the same. I'm not bitter about it anymore, it turns out that's all people do.

I'm just genuinely really glad I'm here to take this controversial side against it all, all the stress and the culture of uni and what I see as a dull future. I'm glad I wasn't someone that got sucked in. Ultimately I have what I'm happy with, and it's great if uni worked for everyone else.

lonelyjew · 01-30-2012, 10:46 AM

OP doesn't understand the difference between personal tastes and intellect, and then calls people stupid.

SocialAnxietyMC · 02-02-2012, 10:08 PM

I plan on transferring to a Uni soon kind of surprised I thought most people in Uni were smart people who were basically the leaders of our generation lol guess there's a good mix bewteen dummies and smart people just like my good ol' community college.

Elizabeth419 · 02-03-2012, 08:48 AM

Depends how you define the word 'stupid.' I don't speak any other languages, but I don't consider myself stupid. I grew up in an English speaking area where there weren't many opportunities to learn. I don't look at people in Tibet, for example, and call them stupid for not knowing other languages.

Barette · 02-03-2012, 08:50 AM

Maybe you need to stop being so judgmental and redefine your definition of intelligent. Reading a book, speaking another language, and liking classic movies does not make someone intelligent, just as how not doing those doesn't make you unintelligent.

RenegadeReloaded · 02-03-2012, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Retronia

I cant come with a good example right now, but there were times like "why do people like this even study?"

They do it just for the diploma, that paper that says u finished a university. That's all.

U might wanna change the university. I've been to like 3 and ppl differ so much. Btw, what interests do they have ?

Invisiblehandicap · 02-03-2012, 03:47 PM

Expecting people to learn another language is a bit much. The thing is, if your first language is English, leanring another language is much less useful than leaning english if English is your secound language. If someone will live in US or UK or where you are from forever, there is no physical need to learn another language. If they had an opportunity to use another language on a regular basis, more people would learn it.

Unfortunately some people think that they can learn by reading one text book and memorizing. This, I think is the fault of universities and schools, because they encourage this behavior. It is definitely a bad way to hold any information in the long term, but not many people know this. I think in the later years , 2nd and 3rd year, people will start getting their act together.

Peter Attis · 02-03-2012, 09:11 PM

Wow, you seem like the life of the party.

g0t Anxiety · 02-03-2012, 09:19 PM

45 Percent of College Students Didn’t Learn Anything in First Two Years - FAct

komorikun · 02-04-2012, 12:09 AM

I was kind of surprised by how many people text message constantly throughout the whole entire class. Why even go to class if you're not going to pay attention?

In one of my classes, a group of students were doing a presentation on syphilis and they mentioned the Tuskegee experiment. They actually said that the subjects were slaves or former slaves. The Tuskegee experiment started in the 1930s.

Paper Samurai · 02-04-2012, 11:13 AM

I honestly feel the same sometime about my course mates lol

Well actually maybe not stupid, but only willing to do the bare minimum I guess. There are plenty of people who mess about in lectures too (like komo mentioned) or are only interested in when the next social event/party is.

Laith · 02-04-2012, 12:14 PM

Get down off your fallacious pedestal and maybe you'd make some friends.

RenegadeReloaded · 02-04-2012, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Invisiblehandicap

Expecting people to learn another language is a bit much. The thing is, if your first language is English, leanring another language is much less useful than leaning english if English is your secound language. If someone will live in US or UK or where you are from forever, there is no physical need to learn another language. If they had an opportunity to use another language on a regular basis, more people would learn it.

That sounds very practical, u don't need to know any other language then the universal language, English.

epostler · 02-04-2012, 12:36 PM

A lot of the people at my old university had the same views as the OP and I hated it!
Yes, I know German. Yes, I can guess my way through Italian. And if you give me a little bit I can even read Arabic. I occasionally watch 'classics' but will I choose it over say...bleach, no. Do I read? Well...I skim simply because I do not need to read to get an A. I also daydream and pay more attention to the clock than the teacher and sometimes skip. No different than the person texting.
Now! If you ask me if I'm intelligent I'll tell you "well I'm fairly intelligent in English. Give me 20 minutes and I can right a 4 page essay! But give me an algebra problem and I become a nit-wit. Give me a science question and I'm a moron."

I do (almost) everything you have described in order to be intelligent but am I? Hell no!!

Point being: don't be so judgmental those you put down for being unintelligent could be far more intelligent than you could ever hope to be. And those who you perceive to be intelligent could be rather dumb (like me!).

gorbulas · 02-04-2012, 02:07 PM

I agree with a couple of the replies. You seem too aggressive about this and you need to lighten up a little especially since you can't come up with an example. I have no idea which classes you are referring to but a lot of students know that many classes they take are hoops they have to jump through to get where they want to be. They could be GE classes that they are required to take to graduate.

01-27-2012, 06:15 AM	#1 (permalink)
Retronia Status: SAS Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Narnia Gender: Female Posts: 123	Is everyone around me stupid? So I attented University this year with high expectaiotns. ooh the failure! ( but not in me). All my classmates are kind of stupid. I thought people at universitys are clever, open minded. My classmates dont read books. !!!! They dont even speak any other language!!! (I am not from an english speaking country). They dont watch classic movies / TV shows, they dont even know history as good as I thought!!!! And they dont read books!!!!!!! They dont know things which are pretty important for our study! I cant come with a good example right now, but there were times like "why do people like this even study?" Is it me, that I have high expectations in people? Or ...I dont know. This makes me a hard time to find some friends in my Uni. __________________ It doesn’t matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop.— Confucius

01-27-2012, 06:39 AM	#2 (permalink)
Resonance Status: Penguin Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: N.E. England Gender: Male Posts: 3,237	I felt like that in first year...you would be surprised how well people who apparently know nothing about a subject start doing in the later years. __________________ It's all false pretension ---------------------- last.fm

02-03-2012, 09:19 PM	#14 (permalink)
g0t Anxiety Status: Hidding Cuz it Hurts.. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Pennsylvania I would think Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 232	45 Percent of College Students Didn’t Learn Anything in First Two Years - FAct __________________ "Look at every path closely and deliberately, then ask ourselves this crucial question: dose this path have heart? If it dose, then the path is good. If it doesn't, it is of no use." - Carlos Castaneda

02-04-2012, 11:13 AM	#16 (permalink)
Paper Samurai Status: infinite loop~ Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: UK Gender: Male Posts: 1,614	I honestly feel the same sometime about my course mates lol Well actually maybe not stupid, but only willing to do the bare minimum I guess. There are plenty of people who mess about in lectures too (like komo mentioned) or are only interested in when the next social event/party is. __________________ Sweet is sleep to me and even more to be of stone, While the wrong and shame endure. To be without sight or sense is a most happy change for me, therefore do not rouse me. Hush! Speak low. Need some stress relieving music? Check out mah Playlist: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list...eature=mh_lolz

02-04-2012, 12:14 PM	#17 (permalink)
Laith Status: SAS Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: 10 feet to your left Posts: 253	Get down off your fallacious pedestal and maybe you'd make some friends. __________________ Leu-Ala-Ile-Thr-His-Glu-Thr-Glu-Arg-Asn-Ile-Thr-Tyr

01-27-2012, 10:17 AM	#3 (permalink)
JimmyDeansRetartedCousin Status: User Requested Temporary Ban Join Date: Nov 2009 Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 4,168	Maybe you're a little bit maturer than them, since you've come from a different country then maybe certain aspects of your upbringing and values are slightly more advanced, try not to be so judgemental. Or maybe you're the stupid one, and they're all just extremely good at switching the fold from academia to apatheia..

01-27-2012, 05:04 PM	#4 (permalink)
shiori123 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: CA Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 331	I don't know which country you're attending university in, but in US, it's very common for people to only speak English. Most people take at least a couple years of a foreign language in middle school and high school, but it is generally not taught at a high enough level for students to become fluent. On the other hand, there are also many people here who know a second or even third language because their parents are from foreign backgrounds. It all depends one's particular upbringing. Also, in my opinion, reading books does not make you intelligent, nor does watching classic movies or TV shows. It might make one more cultured or knowledgeable (in a general sense), but that does not necessarily predict how well one does in his or her studies. I've known people who spend most of their free time playing video games, but do extremely well in school. And finally, I don't think you have to be particularly smart to attend college (at least in the US). I know that in many other countries (for example many Asian countries), you need to work much harder in high school to get into a "good" college than you would need to here. On the other hand, I do think college, especially the first couple of years, tends to separate out the higher achievers who actually care about their studies from those who don't really care, and just kind of drifted in from high school because their parents expected them to or whatever. I think as you continue along with your studies, and get to more advanced classes, you'll find more and more people who really value their education and are more similar-minded to you.

01-27-2012, 09:56 PM	#5 (permalink)
Pharoah Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 73	I think you are having high expectations. Many kids these days just dont care about books or history etc.

01-30-2012, 10:46 AM	#7 (permalink)
lonelyjew Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Mehoff Posts: 2,959	OP doesn't understand the difference between personal tastes and intellect, and then calls people stupid.

02-02-2012, 10:08 PM	#8 (permalink)
SocialAnxietyMC Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Los Angeles Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 130	I plan on transferring to a Uni soon kind of surprised I thought most people in Uni were smart people who were basically the leaders of our generation lol guess there's a good mix bewteen dummies and smart people just like my good ol' community college.

02-03-2012, 08:48 AM	#9 (permalink)
Elizabeth419 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Toronto Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 201	Depends how you define the word 'stupid.' I don't speak any other languages, but I don't consider myself stupid. I grew up in an English speaking area where there weren't many opportunities to learn. I don't look at people in Tibet, for example, and call them stupid for not knowing other languages.

02-03-2012, 08:50 AM	#10 (permalink)
Barette Status: Bangin' Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Wilmington, NC Gender: Female Age: 18 Posts: 796	Maybe you need to stop being so judgmental and redefine your definition of intelligent. Reading a book, speaking another language, and liking classic movies does not make someone intelligent, just as how not doing those doesn't make you unintelligent.

02-03-2012, 03:47 PM	#12 (permalink)
Invisiblehandicap Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: New Zealand Gender: Female Age: 19 Posts: 209	Expecting people to learn another language is a bit much. The thing is, if your first language is English, leanring another language is much less useful than leaning english if English is your secound language. If someone will live in US or UK or where you are from forever, there is no physical need to learn another language. If they had an opportunity to use another language on a regular basis, more people would learn it. Unfortunately some people think that they can learn by reading one text book and memorizing. This, I think is the fault of universities and schools, because they encourage this behavior. It is definitely a bad way to hold any information in the long term, but not many people know this. I think in the later years , 2nd and 3rd year, people will start getting their act together.

02-03-2012, 09:11 PM	#13 (permalink)
Peter Attis Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 821	Wow, you seem like the life of the party.

02-04-2012, 12:09 AM	#15 (permalink)
komorikun Status: finals week ('_') Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: California Gender: Female Posts: 3,418	I was kind of surprised by how many people text message constantly throughout the whole entire class. Why even go to class if you're not going to pay attention? In one of my classes, a group of students were doing a presentation on syphilis and they mentioned the Tuskegee experiment. They actually said that the subjects were slaves or former slaves. The Tuskegee experiment started in the 1930s.

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02-04-2012, 12:36 PM	#19 (permalink)
epostler Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Scottsburg, IN Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 95	A lot of the people at my old university had the same views as the OP and I hated it! Yes, I know German. Yes, I can guess my way through Italian. And if you give me a little bit I can even read Arabic. I occasionally watch 'classics' but will I choose it over say...bleach, no. Do I read? Well...I skim simply because I do not need to read to get an A. I also daydream and pay more attention to the clock than the teacher and sometimes skip. No different than the person texting. Now! If you ask me if I'm intelligent I'll tell you "well I'm fairly intelligent in English. Give me 20 minutes and I can right a 4 page essay! But give me an algebra problem and I become a nit-wit. Give me a science question and I'm a moron." I do (almost) everything you have described in order to be intelligent but am I? Hell no!! Point being: don't be so judgmental those you put down for being unintelligent could be far more intelligent than you could ever hope to be. And those who you perceive to be intelligent could be rather dumb (like me!).

02-04-2012, 02:07 PM	#20 (permalink)
gorbulas Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: CA Age: 31 Posts: 945	I agree with a couple of the replies. You seem too aggressive about this and you need to lighten up a little especially since you can't come up with an example. I have no idea which classes you are referring to but a lot of students know that many classes they take are hoops they have to jump through to get where they want to be. They could be GE classes that they are required to take to graduate.