Does everyone NOT want to sit next to you? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 62 (permalink) Old 08-28-2012, 05:09 PM Thread Starter
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Does everyone NOT want to sit next to you?

This is not just paranoia, I swear this is true. Every single day of French class last term, the three other seats on my table would be the only ones vacant. There was no permanent seating so everyone just sat randomly every day. All their seats would be different but NO ONE bothered to sit next to mine.

I tried sitting twice in different areas, and those got vacant too.
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post #2 of 62 (permalink) Old 08-28-2012, 05:45 PM
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Seems to happen to me on the school bus. Every other seat can be taken, and that person would rather sit all the way to the back of the bus, on a seat with someone already in it, away from their friends, instead of sitting next to me, near their friends.

"Humanity ain't all it's cracked up to be, bub!"

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post #3 of 62 (permalink) Old 08-28-2012, 05:47 PM
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I swear, on the first day of class, no one wanted to sit next to me. It happens in a lot of my classes. I usually have a naturally mean look on my face so when I make eye contact with someone, I feel like I am scaring them.
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post #4 of 62 (permalink) Old 08-28-2012, 05:47 PM
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I feel like people do this to me all the time! No one ever wants to sit next to me in class, I'm like the last resort or something. Or someone will sit next to me for a few classes and all the sudden will move to another seat far away from me. I don't smell bad or anything
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post #5 of 62 (permalink) Old 08-28-2012, 06:09 PM
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Not since high school. College has been great.
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post #6 of 62 (permalink) Old 08-28-2012, 07:04 PM
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People don't sit next to me either. But then again, I don't sit next to other people in class.. I want to be left alone in class. Me and small talk don't get along.

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. ~Albert Camus
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post #7 of 62 (permalink) Old 08-28-2012, 07:09 PM
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Happens to me still whenever I go to a big meeting at work. I think it's because people would rather sit with their friends and rather sit beside someone with a higher social status. I'm nobody's friend, and my social status is zero.
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post #8 of 62 (permalink) Old 08-30-2012, 01:28 PM
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Maybe they don't think you want anyone sitting next to you? Sometimes shy people can involuntarily come across as unfriendly, so I would try smiling and/or making small talk with your classmates.

You could ask one of them a homework question or something along those lines to start off with.
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post #9 of 62 (permalink) Old 08-30-2012, 09:03 PM
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I thought I was the only one! Every morning on the bus, the seat next to me is the last one to fill up before people have to start standing. Seriously. I don't want strange people next to me, but it makes me feel like people can determine that something's wrong with me with one quick glance. I wish I knew what it was that makes people run away, if I knew, maybe I could actually make friends?
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post #10 of 62 (permalink) Old 08-31-2012, 12:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Relz View Post
I thought I was the only one! Every morning on the bus, the seat next to me is the last one to fill up before people have to start standing. Seriously. I don't want strange people next to me, but it makes me feel like people can determine that something's wrong with me with one quick glance. I wish I knew what it was that makes people run away, if I knew, maybe I could actually make friends?

I agree people glance at me as if I did to something wrong(which I did nothing), and yea I find it hard to rrly befriend people.
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post #11 of 62 (permalink) Old 08-31-2012, 08:57 PM
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It happened to me my first semester of college. I don't know why, but really sucked.

To thine ownself be true.

‎"People are afraid of public speaking ...In fact, most say it's their number one fear. Death, apparently, only comes second." ~ Jerry Seinfeld.
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post #12 of 62 (permalink) Old 08-31-2012, 09:05 PM
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I'm pretty sure us people with social anxiety are visually off-putting. It's generally subconscious for both us as well as other people observing who to socialize with, but I would say it's probably true.

In any social setting where nobody knows each other, nobody ever comes to me to talk or anything, but everyone else seems to have no trouble approaching other people.

It might actually be quite helpful to consciously counter this effect.
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post #13 of 62 (permalink) Old 09-02-2012, 09:40 AM
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3 years and i sat beside one girl.. once! also i do my activites in school with different classes. don't you feel sad for me xD? this term when school started i asked a girl if i could sit beside her and she said yes, then when i sat down she moved away somewhere else! i dont think people like me o.o
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post #14 of 62 (permalink) Old 09-02-2012, 07:54 PM
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It is probably because you look unfriendly. Don't cross your arms if you are and try not to look pissed off, maybe? hehe. I'm usually late to class so can't comment on this..
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post #15 of 62 (permalink) Old 09-03-2012, 02:47 AM
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i don't have mean look on my face, but rather a serious one. I can't help it, it's natural (you know, i am trying to focus on my studies) and people never sit beside me. and if they do, it's the last spot left but they look so terrified like i am gonna be killing them the whole class. I am not going to be all smiley just so somebody'll sit with me, but it is silly how people assume what I am like as a person just by looking at me.

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post #16 of 62 (permalink) Old 09-03-2012, 03:22 AM
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I haven't had this problem lately, but it happened when I was in school. It doesn't bother me anymore as I'd rather be alone and not in pressure to socialize... It's only troublesome if I need to partner up for something and I have to scramble to find someone.
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post #17 of 62 (permalink) Old 09-03-2012, 08:58 AM
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Last year a few of my subjects were like this. I remember in Maths I was 2 rows infront of everyone else once when half the class was in a school trip and in chemistry there are two big benches in the class and I was the only one sitting on the front bench

I don't speak to most people so I don't expect them to want to sit next to me anyway, just feels really awkward when I'm on the other side of the class alone.
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post #18 of 62 (permalink) Old 09-03-2012, 03:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FireIsTheCleanser View Post
Seems to happen to me on the school bus. Every other seat can be taken, and that person would rather sit all the way to the back of the bus, on a seat with someone already in it, away from their friends, instead of sitting next to me, near their friends.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Relz View Post
I thought I was the only one! Every morning on the bus, the seat next to me is the last one to fill up before people have to start standing . . .
I've had days where the last empty seat was next to me, but people still chose to stand instead of sit next to me Since then, I've started to take notes of what I was wearing and doing (such as smiling, reading, listening to music, etc.). So far I haven't figured out what keeps people away.
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post #19 of 62 (permalink) Old 09-03-2012, 03:21 PM
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Before I quit college, I remember this one guy who sat near me got pissed off and asked me if I ever tried to kill myself, I told him no and he said I should. I put a whole bunch of rusty tacks on his chair the next day and he got cut up badly and he never sat next to me again.

This way to the City of Pain.
Every lost soul shall enter.
Divine Justice inspired Me to make this place--
It is FOREVER.
Abandon all hope, all ye who enter here.
~ Dante's Inferno, Canto 3: The Gates of Hell
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post #20 of 62 (permalink) Old 09-03-2012, 10:09 PM
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Same here, plus they look disappointed when the only available seat is next to me.

There was this one time last year a girl wouldn't let me sit next to her because "she needed a seat to put her backpack on". Like, seriously?
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