Does everyone NOT want to sit next to you? - Social Anxiety Forum
X

Download the SAS Android App

Or switch to mobile version of the forums

X

Download the SAS iPhone App

Or switch to mobile version of the forums

Help/FAQLog InJoin SAS
Go Back   Social Anxiety Forum > Discussion > Students

Reply
Old 08-28-2012, 05:09 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
PauloTheHouseElf's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Saskatoon, SK Canada
Posts: 77



Default Does everyone NOT want to sit next to you?

This is not just paranoia, I swear this is true. Every single day of French class last term, the three other seats on my table would be the only ones vacant. There was no permanent seating so everyone just sat randomly every day. All their seats would be different but NO ONE bothered to sit next to mine.

I tried sitting twice in different areas, and those got vacant too.
PauloTheHouseElf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-2012, 05:45 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
FireIsTheCleanser's Avatar
 
Status: Manic Hispanic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Your mom's house
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Posts: 5,395



Default

Seems to happen to me on the school bus. Every other seat can be taken, and that person would rather sit all the way to the back of the bus, on a seat with someone already in it, away from their friends, instead of sitting next to me, near their friends.
__________________
"Humanity ain't all it's cracked up to be, bub!"

Bam
FireIsTheCleanser is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-2012, 05:47 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
Farideh's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: San Antonio, Texas
Age: 24
Posts: 6,326



Default

I swear, on the first day of class, no one wanted to sit next to me. It happens in a lot of my classes. I usually have a naturally mean look on my face so when I make eye contact with someone, I feel like I am scaring them.
Farideh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-2012, 05:47 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
Tu Cielo's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: In my head
Gender: Female
Age: 23
Posts: 586



Default

I feel like people do this to me all the time! No one ever wants to sit next to me in class, I'm like the last resort or something. Or someone will sit next to me for a few classes and all the sudden will move to another seat far away from me. I don't smell bad or anything
Tu Cielo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-2012, 06:09 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
Cam1's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Maine
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Posts: 7,970



Default

Not since high school. College has been great.
Cam1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-2012, 07:04 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
Celtics777's Avatar
 
Status: Lonely
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Earth
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Posts: 145



Default

People don't sit next to me either. But then again, I don't sit next to other people in class.. I want to be left alone in class. Me and small talk don't get along.
__________________
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. ~Albert Camus
Celtics777 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-2012, 07:09 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
pita's Avatar
 
Status: subtastic
Join Date: Jan 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,693



Default

Happens to me still whenever I go to a big meeting at work. I think it's because people would rather sit with their friends and rather sit beside someone with a higher social status. I'm nobody's friend, and my social status is zero.
pita is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2012, 01:28 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
cali2013's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 142



Default

Maybe they don't think you want anyone sitting next to you? Sometimes shy people can involuntarily come across as unfriendly, so I would try smiling and/or making small talk with your classmates.

You could ask one of them a homework question or something along those lines to start off with.
cali2013 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2012, 09:03 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
Relz's Avatar
 
Status: The Worst
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Hell
Gender: Female
Age: 22
Posts: 1,589



Default

I thought I was the only one! Every morning on the bus, the seat next to me is the last one to fill up before people have to start standing. Seriously. I don't want strange people next to me, but it makes me feel like people can determine that something's wrong with me with one quick glance. I wish I knew what it was that makes people run away, if I knew, maybe I could actually make friends?
Relz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2012, 12:20 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
xoblackwidowx7's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Cal
Gender: Female
Posts: 73



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Relz View Post
I thought I was the only one! Every morning on the bus, the seat next to me is the last one to fill up before people have to start standing. Seriously. I don't want strange people next to me, but it makes me feel like people can determine that something's wrong with me with one quick glance. I wish I knew what it was that makes people run away, if I knew, maybe I could actually make friends?

I agree people glance at me as if I did to something wrong(which I did nothing), and yea I find it hard to rrly befriend people.
xoblackwidowx7 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2012, 08:57 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
DesertStar91's Avatar
 
Status: Such is life
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: A lake
Gender: Female
Age: 23
Posts: 554



Default

It happened to me my first semester of college. I don't know why, but really sucked.
__________________
To thine ownself be true.

‎"People are afraid of public speaking ...In fact, most say it's their number one fear. Death, apparently, only comes second." ~ Jerry Seinfeld.
DesertStar91 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2012, 09:05 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Posts: 47



Default

I'm pretty sure us people with social anxiety are visually off-putting. It's generally subconscious for both us as well as other people observing who to socialize with, but I would say it's probably true.

In any social setting where nobody knows each other, nobody ever comes to me to talk or anything, but everyone else seems to have no trouble approaching other people.

It might actually be quite helpful to consciously counter this effect.
ScienceGuy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2012, 09:40 AM   #13 (permalink)
 
shindoable's Avatar
 
Status: The mind of a comedian
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Sweden
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Posts: 105



Default

3 years and i sat beside one girl.. once! also i do my activites in school with different classes. don't you feel sad for me xD? this term when school started i asked a girl if i could sit beside her and she said yes, then when i sat down she moved away somewhere else! i dont think people like me o.o
shindoable is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2012, 07:54 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 5



Default

It is probably because you look unfriendly. Don't cross your arms if you are and try not to look pissed off, maybe? hehe. I'm usually late to class so can't comment on this..
yogurtxx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2012, 02:47 AM   #15 (permalink)
 
Olesya's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: May 2011
Age: 22
Posts: 386



Default

i don't have mean look on my face, but rather a serious one. I can't help it, it's natural (you know, i am trying to focus on my studies) and people never sit beside me. and if they do, it's the last spot left but they look so terrified like i am gonna be killing them the whole class. I am not going to be all smiley just so somebody'll sit with me, but it is silly how people assume what I am like as a person just by looking at me.
__________________
Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened- so true, so true.
Anatole France
Olesya is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2012, 03:22 AM   #16 (permalink)
 
Status: User Requested Permanent Ban
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: somewhere over the rainbow
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,077



Default

I haven't had this problem lately, but it happened when I was in school. It doesn't bother me anymore as I'd rather be alone and not in pressure to socialize... It's only troublesome if I need to partner up for something and I have to scramble to find someone.
CoastalSprite is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2012, 08:58 AM   #17 (permalink)
 
BBQ_Chicken's Avatar
 
Status: I ****ing love my life
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Happytown
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Posts: 4,763



Default

Last year a few of my subjects were like this. I remember in Maths I was 2 rows infront of everyone else once when half the class was in a school trip and in chemistry there are two big benches in the class and I was the only one sitting on the front bench

I don't speak to most people so I don't expect them to want to sit next to me anyway, just feels really awkward when I'm on the other side of the class alone.
BBQ_Chicken is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2012, 03:11 PM   #18 (permalink)
 
Mind in Flight's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Gender: Male
Age: 24
Posts: 56



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by FireIsTheCleanser View Post
Seems to happen to me on the school bus. Every other seat can be taken, and that person would rather sit all the way to the back of the bus, on a seat with someone already in it, away from their friends, instead of sitting next to me, near their friends.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Relz View Post
I thought I was the only one! Every morning on the bus, the seat next to me is the last one to fill up before people have to start standing . . .
I've had days where the last empty seat was next to me, but people still chose to stand instead of sit next to me Since then, I've started to take notes of what I was wearing and doing (such as smiling, reading, listening to music, etc.). So far I haven't figured out what keeps people away.
Mind in Flight is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2012, 03:21 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
Solomon's Tomb's Avatar
 
Status: The end is nigh.
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: The City of Dis, Wrath District
Gender: Male
Age: 26
Posts: 873



Default

Before I quit college, I remember this one guy who sat near me got pissed off and asked me if I ever tried to kill myself, I told him no and he said I should. I put a whole bunch of rusty tacks on his chair the next day and he got cut up badly and he never sat next to me again.
__________________
This way to the City of Pain.
Every lost soul shall enter.
Divine Justice inspired Me to make this place--
It is FOREVER.
Abandon all hope, all ye who enter here.
~ Dante's Inferno, Canto 3: The Gates of Hell
Solomon's Tomb is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2012, 10:09 PM   #20 (permalink)
Mya
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Colorado
Gender: Female
Posts: 70



Default

Same here, plus they look disappointed when the only available seat is next to me.

There was this one time last year a girl wouldn't let me sit next to her because "she needed a seat to put her backpack on". Like, seriously?
Mya is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:01 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® ©2000-2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc. User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging v3.1.0 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2014 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.