Social Anxiety Support

delirium · 10-02-2009, 11:22 AM

So I've been doing alright lately. I've joined some clubs, made a new friend (I think), and have (nervously) spoken up in class, etc. But (and there's always a but), I'm having trouble right now.

I'm thinking of applying for a Master's program. And this has provoked all sorts of anxiety. The competition is fierce: 12/120 people were accepted last year (108 were rejected... damn!), so there's a high probability that I won't get in. Self-doubt attacks me... "am I good enough?"... Christ... I feel that if I don't get in, that I'll be a failure (are those 108 applicants all failures? I wouldn't think so... they've just failed at getting accepted to a highly competitive program).

Anyway... I have to do at least two things, and even just thinking about each thing is giving me huge anticipatory anxiety (who knows why...). (1) I have to ask some of my previous TAs for an appointment to ask for advice on how to get into the MA program (how did they distinguish themselves in their applications?), (2) Ask some professors for letters of recommendation (I don't really know many, and what if they say no?), (3) Ask someone (who?) for advice on choosing a writing sample (I have no idea whether any of my essays are any good, though I've received good grades on most of them... how can I assess whether this piece of writing is the one I want to use to represent myself to the application committee? Who are these anonymous people who wield the power to decide my future?).

Any response is welcome... HELP!

leonardess · 10-02-2009, 11:26 AM

you've pretty much answered your own question. take your writing samples, essays, to those people you want to talk to about getting into the programme. This is exactly the kind of question you ought to ask them, since that's what you're seeing them about.

Just do your best - do everything you can think of to better your chances of getting in. and it is as you say - those 108 people aren't failures because they didn't get in, and neither will you be. It only means that competition is fierce. Try again next time. don't give up - perhaps there is another programme you can apply for. Good luck!

Catlover4100 · 10-02-2009, 03:53 PM

Wow, REALLY fierce competition! I'm having trouble asking for letters of recommendation too. I finally got up the courage to ask one teacher that I had for two years, and who also happens to be the advisor for a competition I have been in for several years. I need at least two letters, if not more, and I don't know who else to ask. I generally avoid my old teachers, not because I don't like them, just because of anxiety.

Sorry I'm no help:-( Good luck!!!

contranigma · 10-02-2009, 05:05 PM

Yeah, I am doing this now, too. A few years ago I was applying to be an RA and I asked a teacher to be a reference and she said no. She said it was because she didn't know me well enough. That's a legit reason and that didn't really bother me, but I had actually gone to see her a few times and had made the effort to get to know her better than other teachers, so it's kind of ironic.

Do you think it would look bad to the people judging the applicants if I used my psychologist as a reference. I need three, and I can only think of two, besides my psychologist.

10-02-2009, 11:22 AM	#1 (permalink)
delirium Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Toronto Gender: Male Posts: 214	Asking for Letters of Recommendation, Advice, etc. So I've been doing alright lately. I've joined some clubs, made a new friend (I think), and have (nervously) spoken up in class, etc. But (and there's always a but), I'm having trouble right now. I'm thinking of applying for a Master's program. And this has provoked all sorts of anxiety. The competition is fierce: 12/120 people were accepted last year (108 were rejected... damn!), so there's a high probability that I won't get in. Self-doubt attacks me... "am I good enough?"... Christ... I feel that if I don't get in, that I'll be a failure (are those 108 applicants all failures? I wouldn't think so... they've just failed at getting accepted to a highly competitive program). Anyway... I have to do at least two things, and even just thinking about each thing is giving me huge anticipatory anxiety (who knows why...). (1) I have to ask some of my previous TAs for an appointment to ask for advice on how to get into the MA program (how did they distinguish themselves in their applications?), (2) Ask some professors for letters of recommendation (I don't really know many, and what if they say no?), (3) Ask someone (who?) for advice on choosing a writing sample (I have no idea whether any of my essays are any good, though I've received good grades on most of them... how can I assess whether this piece of writing is the one I want to use to represent myself to the application committee? Who are these anonymous people who wield the power to decide my future?). Any response is welcome... HELP!

10-02-2009, 03:53 PM	#3 (permalink)
Catlover4100 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Gasport, NY Gender: Female Age: 17 Posts: 350	Wow, REALLY fierce competition! I'm having trouble asking for letters of recommendation too. I finally got up the courage to ask one teacher that I had for two years, and who also happens to be the advisor for a competition I have been in for several years. I need at least two letters, if not more, and I don't know who else to ask. I generally avoid my old teachers, not because I don't like them, just because of anxiety. Sorry I'm no help:-( Good luck!!! __________________ If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days. ~Sylvia Plath

10-02-2009, 11:26 AM	#2 (permalink)
leonardess Status: wheresthefire?inmyeye! Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: WILL you people please leave me alone?I'm supposed to be working lol Gender: Female Age: 45 Posts: 1,231	you've pretty much answered your own question. take your writing samples, essays, to those people you want to talk to about getting into the programme. This is exactly the kind of question you ought to ask them, since that's what you're seeing them about. Just do your best - do everything you can think of to better your chances of getting in. and it is as you say - those 108 people aren't failures because they didn't get in, and neither will you be. It only means that competition is fierce. Try again next time. don't give up - perhaps there is another programme you can apply for. Good luck!

10-02-2009, 05:05 PM	#4 (permalink)
contranigma Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Midwest Gender: Male Posts: 169	Yeah, I am doing this now, too. A few years ago I was applying to be an RA and I asked a teacher to be a reference and she said no. She said it was because she didn't know me well enough. That's a legit reason and that didn't really bother me, but I had actually gone to see her a few times and had made the effort to get to know her better than other teachers, so it's kind of ironic. Do you think it would look bad to the people judging the applicants if I used my psychologist as a reference. I need three, and I can only think of two, besides my psychologist.