can anxiety make someone behave irrationally? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 11:56 PM Thread Starter
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can anxiety make someone behave irrationally?

I was dating a guy and he was leaving on duty for a couple weeks. He lied to me about deleting social media, he actually ended up blocking me. When I caught him in his lie, he said anxiety and paranoia made him delete me, he thought I would stalk him. I'm not bashing anyone w/anxiety as I do suffer from it as well. Seems like a big lie to me, but he has been communicating w/me through other social media. Opinions?
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post #2 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 12:02 AM
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I don't wanna make you worry, but that sounds like a bull**** excuse to me. I've heard of people doing really irrational things cause of anxiety, but I find my own anxiety to be pretty extreme and I would never do anything like that. I honestly think he just doesn't want you to see what he's been doing. Although I don't want you to assume this, just my opinion.
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post #3 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 12:10 AM Thread Starter
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I don't wanna make you worry, but that sounds like a bull**** excuse to me. I've heard of people doing really irrational things cause of anxiety, but I find my own anxiety to be pretty extreme and I would never do anything like that. I honestly think he just doesn't want you to see what he's been doing. Although I don't want you to assume this, just my opinion.
Weird though he has been communicating w/me via email and other medias.
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post #4 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 12:14 AM
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hes dating someone else and they are seeing his fb
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post #5 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 12:21 AM Thread Starter
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hes dating someone else and they are seeing his fb
He says he will unblock when he has access to his facebook.
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post #6 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 12:39 AM
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From the title I was about to say that hypoglycemia (crash from a sugar or grains high) causes anxiety and confusion.

From the description... he sounds mean. I have severe mental problems, jumping to conclusions without verifying them is a big no-no unless people enjoy messing up their life all around them...

He should have waited to see if you stalked him and asked you to stop...

But I expressed my displeasure with friends before, and instead to be more careful to not cross my limit and respect me more, with more consideration... They mocked my feelings, they laughed at my request for respect (I can't trust a liar... You want attention, then at least reply a full phrase with full words so I have something to reply to. You don't want to share and push me away but expect me to open my heart and give you the world when you can't make the effort to open up and welcome it?...) So when I told them that I was ending the relationship and why... they harassed me, told me that I have no right to ignore them after I told them to stop, found all my friends and told them lies against me and stole them, maybe did me a favor if they were so eager to kick me in the back too...

So just deleting someone and moving on is something that is apparently done a lot, I left facebook because people didn't actually want to make the effort to meet and have friends... they just collected stats of friend number and likes... So lying to you to trash you so you won't make a scene sounds typical of a community that doesn't care... Except of feeding their own insecurities into narcissism with selfies and likes...

Either way he sounds like a bad friend... being crazy is no excuse, he chose to push you away... he should live with that. If he talks to you in other places, maybe he is shamed by you, want to use you on booty call, want a girlfriend but cheat and look for better with a harem on facebook without the girl snapping at him with good reasons...

A relationship isn't to find someone flawless, it's to find someone who at least like you enough to do his best to avoid hurting you with his flaws... He didn't do that, even if has anxiety... you can't build a relationship and move forward if instead to walk with you he steps back away from you every step you make, keeping you at arm length, satisfied to stare at you from a distance... Many people do that... I had enough of it. I'd rather have nothing than empty promises of someone who doesn't even want to try. I'm severely disabled and traumatized, not just with what ifs, but with actual disasters, and I still move forward when I want to.

He doesn't want you, not with you... blocking you is the ultimate rejection. I wouldn't give another chance. I wouldn't even take it personal because he didn't even have the decency to tell you why... Like "I'm looking for a ****tier girlfriend, it's not you, it's my horny-ness"...

Maybe he really was too scared, but instead to say "Let's take it slow, I have social anxiety, it's nice that you understand how it feels" he did what is probably the worst fear for a SA person... So someone who fear rejection so much that he rejects what he loves as a preemptive self destructive strike... You can't help people like that, you can't gain anything from people like that.

Just move on and enjoy your life.

Feeling bad is a symptom of bad self care, not of being a bad person. Increase the vital nutrients that you need. Especially C, B and magnesium. Replace sugars, grains, corn, soy and chemicals by colorful vegetables, meats and fresh fats. They stabilize your blood sugar & mind. Get rid of toxic things & people. Take care, rest and you'll heal. Trust your body. Let your instincts guide you to safety. Tree Of Wolf ~
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post #7 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 12:45 AM Thread Starter
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From the title I was about to say that hypoglycemia (crash from a sugar or grains high) causes anxiety and confusion.

From the description... he sounds mean. I have severe mental problems, jumping to conclusions without verifying them is a big no-no unless people enjoy messing up their life all around them...

He should have waited to see if you stalked him and asked you to stop...

But I expressed my displeasure with friends before, and instead to be more careful to not cross my limit and respect me more, with more consideration... They mocked my feelings, they laughed at my request for respect (I can't trust a liar... You want attention, then at least reply a full phrase with full words so I have something to reply to. You don't want to share and push me away but expect me to open my heart and give you the world when you can't make the effort to open up and welcome it?...) So when I told them that I was ending the relationship and why... they harassed me, told me that I have no right to ignore them after I told them to stop, found all my friends and told them lies against me and stole them, maybe did me a favor if they were so eager to kick me in the back too...

So just deleting someone and moving on is something that is apparently done a lot, I left facebook because people didn't actually want to make the effort to meet and have friends... they just collected stats of friend number and likes... So lying to you to trash you so you won't make a scene sounds typical of a community that doesn't care... Except of feeding their own insecurities into narcissism with selfies and likes...

Either way he sounds like a bad friend... being crazy is no excuse, he chose to push you away... he should live with that. If he talks to you in other places, maybe he is shamed by you, want to use you on booty call, want a girlfriend but cheat and look for better with a harem on facebook without the girl snapping at him with good reasons...

A relationship isn't to find someone flawless, it's to find someone who at least like you enough to do his best to avoid hurting you with his flaws... He didn't do that, even if has anxiety... you can't build a relationship and move forward if instead to walk with you he steps back away from you every step you make, keeping you at arm length, satisfied to stare at you from a distance... Many people do that... I had enough of it. I'd rather have nothing than empty promises of someone who doesn't even want to try. I'm severely disabled and traumatized, not just with what ifs, but with actual disasters, and I still move forward when I want to.

He doesn't want you, not with you... blocking you is the ultimate rejection. I wouldn't give another chance. I wouldn't even take it personal because he didn't even have the decency to tell you why... Like "I'm looking for a ****tier girlfriend, it's not you, it's my horny-ness"...

Maybe he really was too scared, but instead to say "Let's take it slow, I have social anxiety, it's nice that you understand how it feels" he did what is probably the worst fear for a SA person... So someone who fear rejection so much that he rejects what he loves as a preemptive self destructive strike... You can't help people like that, you can't gain anything from people like that.

Just move on and enjoy your life.
He hasn't asked for anything sexual during this period of social media lie.
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post #8 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 12:53 AM
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Originally Posted by socialbutterflywannabe View Post
He hasn't asked for anything sexual during this period of social media lie.
Then maybe the reason that he gave was true, but it's still mean for you, and I find it unacceptable.

My hypoglycemia can make me so hungry that I enter predator mode, and could eat anything that moves, and become deadly violent... But that would still make hurting someone unacceptable.

The reason doesn't matter... he hurt you... he has rejected you... You deserve better.

I heard of people saying that they want to date other people to see if they can do better before settling with a person that they don't really like and don't want to appreciate... Maybe he did it to you.

Either way, he blocked you... pushed you away... Sorry to be rude... but please have some dignity and let go.

If he regrets it, he didn't care for you enough back then, and he'll still do it again anyway...

I don't think he did it because he has SA, not all SA act this way. He acted like this because he's a mean guy with SA.

Feeling bad is a symptom of bad self care, not of being a bad person. Increase the vital nutrients that you need. Especially C, B and magnesium. Replace sugars, grains, corn, soy and chemicals by colorful vegetables, meats and fresh fats. They stabilize your blood sugar & mind. Get rid of toxic things & people. Take care, rest and you'll heal. Trust your body. Let your instincts guide you to safety. Tree Of Wolf ~
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post #9 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 12:55 AM Thread Starter
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Then maybe the reason that he gave was true, but it's still mean for you, and I find it unacceptable.

My hypoglycemia can make me so hungry that I enter predator mode, and could eat anything that moves, and become deadly violent... But that would still make hurting someone unacceptable.

The reason doesn't matter... he hurt you... he has rejected you... You deserve better.

I heard of people saying that they want to date other people to see if they can do better before settling with a person that they don't really like and don't want to appreciate... Maybe he did it to you.

Either way, he blocked you... pushed you away... Sorry to be rude... but please have some dignity and let go.

If he regrets it, he didn't care for you enough back then, and he'll still do it again anyway...

I don't think he did it because he has SA, not all SA act this way. He acted like this because he's a mean guy with SA.
So even though he was messaging me in between, still means he rejected me? He said he has done this before w/other people.
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post #10 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 03:26 AM
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So even though he was messaging me in between, still means he rejected me? He said he has done this before w/other people.
Well, I don't know the whole story, and my mind is impaired from hunger and tiredness.

But blocking someone is a pretty damn clear rejection to me... If it's because he didn't want you to see his facebook stuff... and see the truth about him... sounds like a manipulative liar to me.

I'm paranoid too... I don't reply people for a while... but I only block them when I hate them.

Someone blocked me because I was having a bad time and she didn't want to "deal with the drama"... When she explained me that she was a worthless uncaring friend after unblocking me, I insulted her until she blocked me for good, to make sure to deserve it. And to push that bad fake friend away.

Having mental issues is no excuse for attacking you, whining about his bad day would be annoying enough... But removing you from his friendlist is a rejection... But blocking you... That's an attack...

I wouldn't tolerate being threated this way... And I don't think anyone should.

At best maybe to tell him "let me know when you're ready to try to be friends until I actually do something wrong to you, but please express your hurt feelings because it could be a misunderstanding, unintentional, and we both need to learn how to respect each other's limits"

I draw the line at mocking my feelings, lying, and blocking me.

I guess you need to ask where you line is, do you even like this guy, is he really better than being alone...

If it feels wrong to you then it is. If you don't mind being blocked in some places and spoken to in others... that's up to you... But he's the type of person that basically kill people online from his social circle without a warning or explanation... without reason...

He sounds like a serial killer, with no self control... that can't be good for your wellbeing... Having social phobia by fear of what MIGHT happen is bad enough, having it from trauma and proof... I struggle with that... I call it quits when there's a red flag... and his attitude is one.

Write the pros and cons to being his friend... But no one trash me, no one threat me like trash and is call a friend after that. Nope.

Feeling bad is a symptom of bad self care, not of being a bad person. Increase the vital nutrients that you need. Especially C, B and magnesium. Replace sugars, grains, corn, soy and chemicals by colorful vegetables, meats and fresh fats. They stabilize your blood sugar & mind. Get rid of toxic things & people. Take care, rest and you'll heal. Trust your body. Let your instincts guide you to safety. Tree Of Wolf ~
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post #11 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 02:22 PM Thread Starter
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Well, I don't know the whole story, and my mind is impaired from hunger and tiredness.

But blocking someone is a pretty damn clear rejection to me... If it's because he didn't want you to see his facebook stuff... and see the truth about him... sounds like a manipulative liar to me.

I'm paranoid too... I don't reply people for a while... but I only block them when I hate them.

Someone blocked me because I was having a bad time and she didn't want to "deal with the drama"... When she explained me that she was a worthless uncaring friend after unblocking me, I insulted her until she blocked me for good, to make sure to deserve it. And to push that bad fake friend away.

Having mental issues is no excuse for attacking you, whining about his bad day would be annoying enough... But removing you from his friendlist is a rejection... But blocking you... That's an attack...

I wouldn't tolerate being threated this way... And I don't think anyone should.

At best maybe to tell him "let me know when you're ready to try to be friends until I actually do something wrong to you, but please express your hurt feelings because it could be a misunderstanding, unintentional, and we both need to learn how to respect each other's limits"

I draw the line at mocking my feelings, lying, and blocking me.

I guess you need to ask where you line is, do you even like this guy, is he really better than being alone...

If it feels wrong to you then it is. If you don't mind being blocked in some places and spoken to in others... that's up to you... But he's the type of person that basically kill people online from his social circle without a warning or explanation... without reason...

He sounds like a serial killer, with no self control... that can't be good for your wellbeing... Having social phobia by fear of what MIGHT happen is bad enough, having it from trauma and proof... I struggle with that... I call it quits when there's a red flag... and his attitude is one.

Write the pros and cons to being his friend... But no one trash me, no one threat me like trash and is call a friend after that. Nope.
When I have my anxiety, I tend to kind of blow up the phone of whoever is stressing me out, especially exes. I'm really struggling w/this.
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post #12 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 04:21 PM
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My sister's bf claims to have SA, though he's constantly getting drunk and high with his friends. He's an abusive control freak and does all kinds of irrational things and blames it on his anxiety. I'm sure he does experience anxiety of some sort, but I think it's mostly fear that he's going to lose control of the people around him. And it doesn't excuse the way he treats her.

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post #13 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 05:02 PM Thread Starter
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My sister's bf claims to have SA, though he's constantly getting drunk and high with his friends. He's an abusive control freak and does all kinds of irrational things and blames it on his anxiety. I'm sure he does experience anxiety of some sort, but I think it's mostly fear that he's going to lose control of the people around him. And it doesn't excuse the way he treats her.
As far as I know he doesn't drink or do drugs, that is a huge deal breaker for me,
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post #14 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 05:18 PM
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As far as I know he doesn't drink or do drugs, that is a huge deal breaker for me,
Everything about my sister's bf is a huge deal breaker for me. I have no idea what she sees in him. She's been talking about leaving him every day for about 3 years now.

But anyway, yeah. I think some people do use anxiety as an excuse for ****ty behavior. But you just have to figure it out on a case-by-case basis. My sister's bf is a conman. All he cares about is making his own life easy. But he uses his 'disorders' to make my sister feel guilty about leaving him or not doing what he wants.

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post #15 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 06:10 PM Thread Starter
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Everything about my sister's bf is a huge deal breaker for me. I have no idea what she sees in him. She's been talking about leaving him every day for about 3 years now.

But anyway, yeah. I think some people do use anxiety as an excuse for ****ty behavior. But you just have to figure it out on a case-by-case basis. My sister's bf is a conman. All he cares about is making his own life easy. But he uses his 'disorders' to make my sister feel guilty about leaving him or not doing what he wants.
I did put my insecurities on him, I have a serious fear of abandonment and tried to get reassurance from him. Could that have triggered his paranoia?
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post #16 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 11:30 PM
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I did put my insecurities on him, I have a serious fear of abandonment and tried to get reassurance from him. Could that have triggered his paranoia?
It could have. But if you have a serious fear of abandonment, and his instinct is to cut you off the moment you get too 'clingy', I predict a very bad and painful relationship. It really doesn't matter if he cut you off because he was lying, or because he has anxiety issues. I think you're going to run into serious compatibility issues either way. Is he worth it?

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post #17 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-28-2017, 08:14 PM Thread Starter
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It could have. But if you have a serious fear of abandonment, and his instinct is to cut you off the moment you get too 'clingy', I predict a very bad and painful relationship. It really doesn't matter if he cut you off because he was lying, or because he has anxiety issues. I think you're going to run into serious compatibility issues either way. Is he worth it?
No he isn't, I'm done. From talking further w/him, he seems to only care about himself, I told him how I had an emotional meltdown and he turned it around to focus on his anxiety issues. Now I actually don't believe my anxiety pushed him away, my hesitation showed him that I don't buy into the whole fake prince charming ****.
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post #18 of 24 (permalink) Old 04-29-2017, 04:18 AM
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It definately does give some reason to be suspicious
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post #19 of 24 (permalink) Old 04-29-2017, 04:49 AM
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I was dating a guy and he was leaving on duty for a couple weeks. He lied to me about deleting social media, he actually ended up blocking me. When I caught him in his lie, he said anxiety and paranoia made him delete me, he thought I would stalk him. I'm not bashing anyone w/anxiety as I do suffer from it as well. Seems like a big lie to me, but he has been communicating w/me through other social media. Opinions?
It doesn't sound like he's really that into you. I'm sorry. Is he pretty young? I truly believe guys will show you how they feel about you through their actions. He said he's leaving on duty so I figure he's in the military? Makes it pretty easy to cheat. They used to say in the military what goes TDY stays TDY.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results-Albert Einstein
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post #20 of 24 (permalink) Old 04-30-2017, 05:50 AM
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I was dating a guy and he was leaving on duty for a couple weeks. He lied to me about deleting social media, he actually ended up blocking me. When I caught him in his lie, he said anxiety and paranoia made him delete me, he thought I would stalk him. I'm not bashing anyone w/anxiety as I do suffer from it as well. Seems like a big lie to me, but he has been communicating w/me through other social media. Opinions?
If you like him and went to continue with dating him believe him .if not so much move on he is acting only on his behalf so do the same .

*God give me strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
*grammer and spelling police are not welcome.
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