Social Anxiety Background
social anxiety for over 10 years/depression for about 15 years
"getting over it" (yeah right, that works, yes that's the "advice" that people I know give me), St. John's Wort, Kava Kava & other vitamins, exercise, (including yoga & pilates as well as cardio, etc), sunshine, self help books, moving around (different states)
and about 6 different antidepressants (SSRIs, atypical & tricyclic from different generations)-Until recently I didn't realize it had been that many since it was spaced out over 11 years and most of the time I wasn't on any because they only cause me terrible side effects & withdrawal.
Xanax is basically the only thing that does anything for me (aside from booze and I can't walk around drunk in non drinking situations, it would make me more self conscious). I would equate it to feeling like you'd had a hit off of a joint. I am more talkative and more able to do things. I still feel like people are looking at/judging me but I think more along the lines of I don't care and can go do what I need to do.
I take .5-2 depending on the issue at hand. Usually if it's 2 it's because of something terrible happening and is spread out over a period of hours. Currently I take it at most, once weekly. Aside from the last time there was a death in my family (last fall) and I was super depressed. I was taking it 2-3 times a week then but it makes me really hungry and I have disordered eating issues so I avoid taking it if I can.
I've been told that it's very habit forming and people are reticent to prescribe it. I had also heard and read that Klonopin was similar for emergencies. I was able to get a doc to prescribe Klonopin but all it does is make me tired, no comparison if you ask me. Basically useless unless I was actually just using it to go to sleep.
It should be noted that I only leave my home (at most 2-3 times per week). I would be more likely to use Xanax more often to actually go places (I'm afraid of a lot of places) if it didn't make me feel like I was starving and I could actually get a prescription. I met someone once (prior to my ever taking it) who was working while on it. It really makes me tired so I don't see how I could do that.