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Old 05-31-2012, 06:01 AM   #121 (permalink)
 
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I would hate to be in that position. I used the lowest dose of ativan for just a couple weeks and then stopped. Had the worst nightmares ever while trying to sleep afterwards. Forcing anyone to stop cold after long term use should be illegal. Good news is that I found other things to help instead.
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Old 05-31-2012, 10:41 AM   #122 (permalink)
 
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Has i was saying BENZOS a rare thing in England now ,DOCTORS dont want to be seen to be scripting them, because of addiction an withdrawl. But they have found that since the reduction of benzo scipts , people are still haveing withdrawl and AD,s are to blaim has much as benzos are, but the blaim was always on the benzo . So what they going to do now , you got it ,cut down the MG of antidepressant . Take SERTRALINE 50mg was starter dose then you went up to 100 -150- 200 mg now there trying to keep patients on 50 mg were in therory just scratch,s the surface of clinical depression. every day blue,s an thing,s people want AD,s for now 50mg would be cool mabye even to much. But you carnt expect 30 year med veteran,s to suddenly give up a lifetime habit.
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Old 05-31-2012, 01:22 PM   #123 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
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Hi there,

Well I don't know whether I was "addicted" or "dependent", but coming off 9 mg a day of Xanax cold is not something anyone wants to experience - I did that a number of times. I used to be jealous of the guy in the next bed because he was just coming off heroin - over in about 4-5 days ( the really bad part anyway, from what I saw ) "Foxy" seems to know what he's talking about to me - he's lived it, so have I - who the hell cares what you call it - just try stopping! The rest is just semantics.
Wow 9 mg a day. I feel for you bro.
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Old 05-31-2012, 06:51 PM   #124 (permalink)
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Yeah, well I was pretty crazy back then - I wanted to eliminate fear from my life, and I sort of did for a long time. The trouble with the benzos (and believe me, I would be some sort of hyprocrite to knock them - they have their place) is that tolerance builds up so fast - I remember going for an interview thingy once and I took 5 - just to make sure. Not a good idea - they tend to really dumb you down after a long time using them, also cause a lot of memory problems - there are quite a few parts of my life I don't really remember anymore. It's a pain in the arse - anyway, I'm still here, could be worse.
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Old 06-01-2012, 03:20 AM   #125 (permalink)
 
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9mg of xanax is 18 mg ativan , a lot of benzo , 12 ativan i had a three month run on. i had a repeat script for years an hadnt always used them so had a massive stash, well so i thought they soon go down at 12mg a day. DON36 we dont get rehab in england for benzo withdrawl, we get seisures instead, an bang your head on the bedroom wall for 6months. What do you use for acute anxierty now because the wont script you benzo,s now will they buddy. It did cause me to have a breakdown my withdrawl 2 weeks in the nut zoo on get this??? 5mg valium a day. OOOOO plus a bottle of vodka i got the smack head patient to bring in so i didnt die through my body shakeing itself to bits,security was very laspe in the zoo. The nobs put me on effexor 225mg within week, the number one Xrated suicide start up med.When i walked out the zoo door i fired the EFFEXOR in the first bin i found. Now to be honest ativan is a marvelous med. A drug dealer i new ate them like sweets, never touched heroin , he is probably dead now but that boy was flying. NOW detox mmmmmmmm Death is mabye easier than detox high dose benzo,s has DON36 will tell you. But what can you do with cronic anxierty,without them, on the plus side you keep your weight down ,eat as much has you like with cronic anxierty ,you will still be stick thin. I dont want to come off them , because what would i do, i took them for a perminent condition, its not going to go away an there is no cure.I also think that going to 12mg hit a wall ,but now i take 4mg tollerance is cool ,an they work. 2mg 6am 2mg 9pm , 6AM go back to sleep one hour wake chilled. 9pm take 2mg 12am sleep most of the night. so if i got rid of my 100mg sertraline an took 8mg ativan instead through the hole day , it may or may not work but if it did i would stay on it for life. without the crap side effects of ADs I would be slim again , a sex god once more , free from muscle pain, its a chance i no but bring it on spelling an gramma bad thick an dislexic
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Old 06-01-2012, 04:01 PM   #126 (permalink)
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5 mg of Valium a day of Valium is like giving you a glass of bloody water foxy - no wonder you had a breakdown. I recently got a script of Valium from a GP here , but she was smart - she would make me come to the chemist every 3 days to just get one strip! ( I thought it was pretty funny, to be honest) Made me feel a bit like a junky though. They really don't even do anything now anyway - I've been back on this bloody Lexapro - weight gain, laziness, no sex drive ( really great drug!, thanks!) - but it's the only one we could find that I can tolerate or that does anything. You asked about what I do for acute anxiety - well now that's a good question. I had the worst anxiety I have ever experienced recently up in Bali - I had been there for about 3 months(after coming off the Lexapro - all bodily functions fully restored, if you know what I mean.) I had been having a great time, and I was skinny again. Then I had to come back to see my ex about something - spent the whole 2 weeks on Valium (she tends to have that effect on me ), and went back to Bali where I had the worst anxiety I have ever had . I still don't know what caused it. I had some Lexapro with me, and a bit of Valium, but it didn't help much. Spent 2 weeks chain smoking and shaking. Had to come back to Melbourne, where I'm now on the Lex. again - it's a vicious circle, as you know mate.
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Old 06-02-2012, 01:45 AM   #127 (permalink)
 
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buddy i find SERTRALINE a little better than LEXAPRO-ie citalopram its older brother made ne nasty tempered .Dont get lexapro on NHS in england not generic , no real meds for us. SERTRALINE dont kill the pork sword if on 100mg , 20mg lexapro does. delayed orgasm on sertraline but i can live with that, i bet porn star,s would benifit from the delayed orgasm. In fact premature ejaculator.s are given small doses of SSRI AD to help delay them by english gp,s . VALIUM now come on my friend, i used to use valium with my 12mg ativan useless med to a veteran benzo space cadett. 40 mg of valium dont even touch the sides in me , thats only 2mg of your xanax you took. Do you think the benzo daily in doses not to high would work for you. Not xanax to strong for this project, lets say larozapam 2mg 4 times a day at the same time of day every day , no wavering on the times . 6am - 11am -4pm -9pm . no AD just the loz. Do you think you could hold that dose forever. After all ive held the 4mg a day for 5 years now,so it can be done. it just the AD??? would the extra 4mg of loz compansate FOR ITS LOSS ,there lies the gamble. but has we say the AD is given us because anxierty caused depression, i aim to kill anxierty there for its nukeing the follow on depression
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Old 06-02-2012, 03:58 AM   #128 (permalink)
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Does sertraline cause weight gain? That's one thing that really pisses me off about the Lexapro. Sounds like you're doing better than I am foxy, I wouldn't be able to trust myself to keep at a low dose of any benzo - you're right, the Valium is a waste of time. I have a very addictive personality ( or is that "dependent" - from our friend before - now I don't know what to call it.) I used to drink a fair bit too, only a bottle of wine, not spirits - but everyday, and that was with all the Xanax. I finally stopped when I saw the look on my sons face one night as he helped me to bed. I was so ashamed. I'm currently wishing I could just get off all these bloody pills for good. I'm very sick of them all, to be honest. I recently lasted about 4 months without anything, that wasn't bad.
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Old 06-02-2012, 12:15 PM   #129 (permalink)
 
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don36 YES Sertraline cause,s weight gain, not straight away it sort of creeps up on you. For years shrinks an GPs said they didnt an it even says weight loss on sertraline, but the have finaly admitted that ssri do put weight on , an the bigger antipyc drugs are far worse. Mirtizapine a AD puts weight on faster than most but has no sexual side effects . I swear i put weight on looking at the box but really a jean size up in 2 weeks is bad news. lexapro is worse than sertraline in most case,s depends on who you are. I no what you mean about drinking when on 12 mg ativan without AD drank a litre of vodka a day.( DONT TRY THIS AT HOME KIDS) but when my depression hit nuke mode , i drank a bottle of vodka straight down like a pint of larger to knock myself completely just to give my brain a rest. Why it never killed me ??? who know,s , i used to call it my hour of pleasure when the world stopped an gave me peace. You no what im saying Don you have been that man
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Old 06-02-2012, 05:17 PM   #130 (permalink)
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Yes, I do know what you mean foxy, and I think it's safe to say we're both lucky we're still here. One day I'm going to get off these bloody pills though - I had a period in my life , years ago now, where I wasn't on anything at all - I worked, and even started my Uni degree - it took 3 years to actually get started though - I have a fear of classroom or group settings. It's incredible just how little they have advanced with their treatment of this in the last 30 years.
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Old 06-03-2012, 01:28 AM   #131 (permalink)
 
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getting off everything,??????? there lies a problem don , you still have the same anxierty issuies they have not resolved.So you struggle to get off meds ,only to need them again because your still anxierty riddled. You have to find a happy medium if your illness is perminent or you yo yo back an 4th like a fat girl on a diet. I feel it involves the minimum AD you can get away with an the same with bezno. I have found it with 100mg sertraline an 4mg ativan , but i fear the NHS shrinks want to f*** me up by looseing the ativan. I compair them to dodgy car mechanic,s if the motor is running smooth , they loosen something in check up to make sure you return. IF on my next hospital visit in november they say we are stoping the ativan, i will say you have affectively just killed me, because i will not go through detox again , i wont make it out the other side this time , an even if i do i will still need a benzo, SO your choise zoo shrink ?? EGO or common sence. plus my death will be on your hands. I think i will switch my phone on record in the interview an hide it in my shirt pocket , i will tape his reactions an consider handing it to my GP IF ALL GOES TITS UP.
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Old 06-03-2012, 04:49 PM   #132 (permalink)
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Foxy, believe me mate, I can relate to how you feel about shrinks - I have had some real beauties! Some experiences I had with my second last one were enough for me to consider reporting him. I guess there must be some competent ones out there but I haven't come across one yet. I can understand you're fear about losing the ativan - if that combination is working for you, and you can hold at that dose, then what's the big problem for these guys? I guess I am "lucky" in as much as I can just take the AD (Lexapro in my case) and not need a benzo as well - I also know what you mean about being left with the anxiety you started with if I get off my AD, but I really hate these little buggers, and I seriously doubt that there is another one out there with no side-effects, as you know. They all have something, it's just a matter of what you're willing to put up with. Saying that, after spending a long, long time on some sort of med. I have always known, deep down, that one day I will have to try to deal with this ****ing anxiety head-on. Like I think I told you before, I had about 6 years, I think (hard to remember), it was about 12 years ago when I managed without medication. I'm putting up with this Lexapro again at the moment as my son has a big problem, and he needs me here, but living in the same house as my ex with him is stressful to say the least. I'm a very stubborn little bugger, and I won't give up - I'll probably go back up to Bali and get off the AD again soon. I've done it before - it's no big deal, compared to coming off the benzos, as I'm sure you know too.

Where are you in the UK foxy? I was there over Xmas - my Dad was from London - East end.

Take care mate, Don.
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Old 06-04-2012, 01:49 AM   #133 (permalink)
 
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I live near nottingham buddy . i did try to sue the shrink that took away the 12 MG ATIVAN cold, an started me on suicide ally EFFEXOR the biggest suicide start up rate of any AD. No lawyer would take on the NHS just the very name gave them a paick attack. i did go through the complaints department at the zoo but got no joy, lets face it i was a nut job. I even printed of the net how to detox benzo,s . I gave them to the offending shrink an he even put them in his breifcase to read later, first time he had ever see a printed withdrawl, he was from some african war torn bomb zone where most his patients didnt have a head , or the odd leg missing. He use to say, answer my questions with a yes or no WTF i couldent understand a word he said let alone answer, F*** OFF was used regular by me , he seemed to grasp that one. Tell me about this benzo rehab an what it intails you had. There is nothing like that in england for scripted meds.
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Old 06-04-2012, 06:05 PM   #134 (permalink)
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I live near nottingham buddy . i did try to sue the shrink that took away the 12 MG ATIVAN cold, an started me on suicide ally EFFEXOR the biggest suicide start up rate of any AD. No lawyer would take on the NHS just the very name gave them a paick attack. i did go through the complaints department at the zoo but got no joy, lets face it i was a nut job. I even printed of the net how to detox benzo,s . I gave them to the offending shrink an he even put them in his breifcase to read later, first time he had ever see a printed withdrawl, he was from some african war torn bomb zone where most his patients didnt have a head , or the odd leg missing. He use to say, answer my questions with a yes or no WTF i couldent understand a word he said let alone answer, F*** OFF was used regular by me , he seemed to grasp that one. Tell me about this benzo rehab an what it intails you had. There is nothing like that in england for scripted meds.
Fantastic mate, I love it! Some strong language is sometimes necessary. I remember one place ( a government detox centre in Sydney) where if you didn't go and sit through a Narc Anonymous or AA meeting - they would discharge you - regardless of your condition. The NA ones were the worse - there would always be a few dickheads there that would make fun of us. I went back to the hospital and the male nurse said if you don't go back, you go home - idiot!

You asked about the detox centres Foxy - I've been to all sorts - years ago when I didn't have health insurance I would go to Gov. ones like I described above - they were tough. It was pretty much the patients against the staff. Mostly the patients were heroin addicts and alcoholics.

There are also private clinics - basically private hospitals - very nice, but very expensive - the rooms are like a 3 or 4 star hotel. They will give you an equivalent amount of Valium to whatever you take normally. Then they bring you down slowly. That's the way they are supposed to do it - some of these places are fantastic - they have yoga classes, meditation, a restaurant - classes on everything - they really do provide a lot of support. But, as I say , you need private Health Insurance - they are very expensive and they aren't specifically for benzo withdrawals - there's always a mixture there - basically middle class people with a range of mental health problems - depression, bi-polar - whatever.
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Old 06-05-2012, 02:13 AM   #135 (permalink)
 
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basically then don, you have put yourself through a few detox for SFA because you still have the addictive nature , an need a med for anxierty like you always have. WHY do we do it put ourself through **** detox plus-theropy which to me is a real waste of time to feel worse an plant another negative seed in our distroyed brain. Like 2 weeks ago when the shrink said to me im takeing you off lorazapam after 30 years, HHHHHHow can a inhuman shrink plundge a patient back in trigger to the time he was at his worst with one stupid statment. Your brain takes years to push a thought to the back of your mind, and 1 nobhead an only a shrink could do this, no GP would, can trigger it back in a millysecond plundgeing you into depression. ITS our brain, why not let us experiment with there meds ,not them force there idea on to us. I already pick my own ad,s , why not benzo.s .Because they have orders to cut benzo intake in patients, Fair point if you have been on then 3 months ,but 30 years he effectivly like a muderer puts me on death row. My next shrink metting im tapeing on my phone like james bond, im going to screw him if it goes pear shaped.
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Old 06-05-2012, 03:44 PM   #136 (permalink)
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Foxy I think our situations are very different - you can stick to a reasonable dose of the benzo, plus you're taking an AD at the same time. I was just on the benzo - a very large dose. I know what state my brain was in by the time I started to get off - I could barely remember anything, I was driving off the road ( falling asleep at the wheel ), having blinding headaches every day and sleeping most afternoons. I don't remember how I heard about Albert Rd Clinic - the main one I went to, but I think it took about 6 admissions before I eventually managed to finally stop the Xanax - I would spend about 6 weeks in there, come out, and last for a few weeks and then go back on them - it was all I knew, and what I was used to. It took about another 5 or 6 admissions to try out a range of anti-depressants before we found one that I didn't react badly to, and that actually seemed to help.

I don't actually remember a lot of those admissions, although I know I did have them. I also would have had a number of others back up in Sydney, (I grew up there), but those ones might have been coming off Serepax - it was ages ago. They were the Gov ones. I used to study at Uni and work in the library ( years ago - before the dose got out of control ), so I was quite good at using their databases - I did a fair bit of research on the long term use of benzos, plus the withdrawal symptoms - they basically only confirmed what I already was experiencing, but in a way it was reassuring. It really is amazing, btw, how resilient the brain is.

I do remember certain moments of some of those early admissions - I can remember sitting in one of the TV rooms, sitting on the lounges with some of the others, and all of a sudden I realised I could barely remember anything at all. That scared the hell out of me. I don't remember if it was my decision or the shrink's back then, but it was probably a bit of both - I know I use to wish I could just take one pill every day, that would help me - instead of always chasing my tail with the Xanax. I am glad we found the Lexapro - it interferes a little with my memory but not much and recently, when I was off them for about 4 months - I managed to remember a lot of my Indonesian - I was speaking it quite well up in Bali - (my girlfriend there couldn't speak English so I learnt quite a few new words!).

I've been taking the Lexapro again for a few weeks - I'm going to stop it again now - they make me very bloated and very unmotivated - I can spend long periods in the house, and I don't even have the motivation or energy to shave. It's crazy - I'm getting rid of them too. Wish me luck!

I hope you're session with the shrink goes alright mate,

take care, Don.
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Old 06-06-2012, 02:05 AM   #137 (permalink)
 
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like i said buddy , hospital detox for benzo,s in England is none existant, they just say its up to you , an shut the door on the way out. How did you get a script for 10 axanx a day , no gp or shrink in England would script them, i am on the most 4mg lorazapam a day in my surgery of hundred,s of patients, I had saved my stash for years with a repeat script not use all an putting so aside till i had hundred.s. Buying them off the net is WWWWWWWWWOOOWWWW 10- 1- 2mg pill. I wasnt on an AD when i was takeing 10-12 mg just a bottle of brandy which i swapped for vodka for the no smell trick. You come off lexapro you will crash, carnt you cut the dose down to the bone. My SERTRALINE im scripted 150mg but i dont take , not that the shrinks no, i take 100mg did try 50mg but was pushing my luck, i reckon 75mg im about to try. Find your theraputic dose yourself because all obove it is side effect not help. You have to stablize on the lowed dose od AD an stay on it , dont F*** with it . Your in a position to straight tapper any ssri, To find one that may subside your side effects. as i say low dose sertraline dont really affect erections
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Old 06-06-2012, 06:49 AM   #138 (permalink)
 
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Im going to list the pros and cons of ativan. My mother has finished her breast cancer treatment and left me with around 40 1mg ativans. I told her they would help with my anxiety.

Pros:
Fast acting
Takes away all physical symptoms of SA
Eye contact is about as intimidating as eye contact with an empty bucket
Socializing is a breeze when motivated. Emphasis on "motivated"

Cons:
You feel drugged
Lethargy
Completely unmotivated and apatetic

To put these into perspective, il share how my night went. A good friend and i drop around 1.5mg each at a party. At the time, My friendgroup (10 people) were outside smoking cigarettes while a different group was inside chillen. In front of my friends, i always like to joke around and with Ativan, i felt no anxiety to do so. In other words, i had the motivation. I became the life of our group. Everything i said flowed out perfectly and i was on a roll. was awesome. (Most of these "friends" were mere acquaintances. 3 of them were my good freinds)

We go inside and i started to get tired. Didnt want to talk or do anything except beer pong i suppose which at the time had a waitlist of horrible players. Lethargy's affect on my social motivation ended making me feel insecure. My friend then brought me to talk to hotties we didnt know. I felt so exhausted and ended up half *** bull****ting. Pretty much looked like a zombie. But with no anxiety.

So unless your with good people that you like, you might as well just sit in your room because with ativan, you're trading anxiety for no desire at all to socialize, not to mention health effects. Oh ya and make those minutes count when your in that good setting because your gonna forget all about the next day. I have borderline blacked out on every dose ive taken.

Long story short, take an upper in combination with ativan. The mix pretty much eliminates all SA.
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Old 06-06-2012, 10:44 AM   #139 (permalink)
 
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mmmmmmmmm Iteresting , i used to find that 1mg of ativan ,when young an out on the lash an partying , killed anxierty , never really got drunk no matter how much you drank, it made you talk to much which is a bummer, it stayed in my system a lot longer than it did yours , you were comming down far quicker than most . In the morning after anxierty can increase as your hangover an downer hit at round about the same time. In ENGLAND ativan is not scripted much, as they no its abused by the drug culture . May i just say you went half a mil to far. 1mg is cool 2 mg to much an fall asleep if partying. Also if you take ativan on its own an you dont have anxierty issues you will fall asleep pretty fast. I took it to be has near like a normal as i could, so its effect would be way different to a normal.
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Old 06-07-2012, 04:19 AM   #140 (permalink)
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like i said buddy , hospital detox for benzo,s in England is none existant, they just say its up to you , an shut the door on the way out. How did you get a script for 10 axanx a day , no gp or shrink in England would script them, i am on the most 4mg lorazapam a day in my surgery of hundred,s of patients, I had saved my stash for years with a repeat script not use all an putting so aside till i had hundred.s. Buying them off the net is WWWWWWWWWOOOWWWW 10- 1- 2mg pill. I wasnt on an AD when i was takeing 10-12 mg just a bottle of brandy which i swapped for vodka for the no smell trick. You come off lexapro you will crash, carnt you cut the dose down to the bone. My SERTRALINE im scripted 150mg but i dont take , not that the shrinks no, i take 100mg did try 50mg but was pushing my luck, i reckon 75mg im about to try. Find your theraputic dose yourself because all obove it is side effect not help. You have to stablize on the lowed dose od AD an stay on it , dont F*** with it . Your in a position to straight tapper any ssri, To find one that may subside your side effects. as i say low dose sertraline dont really affect erections
Hey Foxy,

Yeah I've tried to lower the dose of Lexapro but it still makes me hungry and doesn't work as well - I used to actually take 40 mg a day -1 tablet in the morning and 1 again at night. Lately I've been just taking 20 mg at night but still get enough side-effects to make it horrible. I'll keep the Sertraline in mind - I think I had it years ago, but I can't remember what it did. ( what a surprise!) You asked how I got so much Xanax, Foxy - I only went to the Dr's - but I went to a couple of them and lied! It wouldn't work nowadays I don't think, mate - they are really starting to crack down here too. Have you seen your shrink yet? Did you say each tablet was 10 quid??
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