Social Anxiety Support

eyesonmywall · 03-02-2009, 07:34 PM

Has anyone here had any luck going to Toastmasters? How was the experience and has it helped in your daily life, especially work?

I tried to go once, but I chickened out.

hyacinth_dragon · 03-03-2009, 04:50 AM

I haven't gone but have always wanted to. No meetings are compatible with my work schedule. I would say go for it!

tomcoldaba · 03-04-2009, 06:19 PM

I have been a member of 3 toastmaster clubs for over a year. My SA now is very low. I do not have any issues talking at meetings or giving a mini presentations. When I first joined these clubs, I served as a timer. I refused to participate in table topics as it was intimidating. Table topics is you are asked to speak on a topic for 2 minutes. That is tough with SA and all. Many members of my clubs are very shy or have SA and they do not know it.

My life had changed after I attended 25 meetings; I gave speeches, did evaluations, ran the meetings. Now I experience no issues talking to strangers, at meetings.

Please do join toastmasters. It will help you in your career and with SA. The cost of membership generally runs around $45 for 6 months per clubs.

bht96 · 03-04-2009, 08:54 PM

Yeah, I was wondering about toastmasters as well. I just started therapy two weeks ago and my therapist said that at some point soon he will ask me to join toastmasters. He told me that usually 90% of the members have some type of social anxiety (generalized, or just performance anxiety) and that its a safe enough environment that you can actually admit that you have SA and the members can relate to you and be supporive. I imagine, that in itself should take a lot of pressure off.

mind_games · 03-04-2009, 11:46 PM

I just got inducted to my local Toastmasters group last week. In the next meeting I'm gonna be a timer. It can be intimidating, but its only because most the members have been there for a while and are good at speech making. There have also been moments when members have struggled, especially at the Table Topics sections, which made me realise they are human afterall. I'm gonna stick through it somehow.

slylikeafox · 03-05-2009, 04:21 AM

I've been thinking of joining for awhile. There is one at a sugar beet factory where I used to work. I don't know if it is only open to employees. I guess the only way to find out is to get up the nerve and call. That is reassuring that a lot of members tend to have SA.

merciless · 03-06-2009, 04:44 PM

I would recommend joining Toastmasters. But part of it is finding a club with supportive members and committing to going regularly.

I have been a member for 4 years. For the first couple of years, I was really involved. Even though I had to take medication to attend, I was able to cope with anxiety better and improve my speaking skills. Then I didn't go for over a year because of my work schedule. I have just started going back and it literally feels like starting over. I feel anxious just being in the room, my heart races and my body shakes when I have to speak, and I barely can stand up to speak. I'm off meds because I am in CBT therapy so it could be partly because of that. But most likely it is because my condition has regressed because I am out of practice. I have learned my lesson so I am committed to keep going regularly this time.

chrisb3428 · 03-06-2009, 05:07 PM

Can anyone describe what a typical Toastmasters meeting would be like?

I was thinking about joining

bugfreak · 03-06-2009, 07:59 PM

i would love to join. i've looked up info online but that's about as far as i have gotten. i don't really have extra money right now and i'm a chicken. i want so much to be able to do this. i don't have access to a doctor or medications so i can't really seek any treatment or therapy either. i guess i should make it more of a firm goal and priority with a deadline to join a toastmasters. what happens if you pay the fee then chicken out? are you just sol out of the money?

merciless · 03-07-2009, 12:26 AM

In response to the previous two posts, I would suggest contacting your local Toastmasters club officer to see if you can participate as a guest and just sit in at a meeting before considering joining. Because if you do join, there are no refunds as far as I know. This way, you can check how the meeting is conducted since it can vary from club to club. You will also get an idea if the club members are people you can potentially feel comfortable with.

I do have to warn that even guests are encouraged to speak at meetings. You might have to introduce yourself or picked to participate in Table Topics where you speak about a random topic for 1 to 2 minutes in front of the room (I feel anxious just thinking about it). So if you are worried about that, I would suggest letting the meeting organizer know before the meeting that you are there just to observe.

tomcoldaba · 03-08-2009, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by merciless

I have been a member for 4 years. For the first couple of years, I was really involved. Even though I had to take medication to attend, I was able to cope with anxiety better and improve my speaking skills. Then I didn't go for over a year because of my work schedule. I have just started going back and it literally feels like starting over. I feel anxious just being in the room, my heart races and my body shakes when I have to speak, and I barely can stand up to speak. I'm off meds because I am in CBT therapy so it could be partly because of that. But most likely it is because my condition has regressed because I am out of practice. I have learned my lesson so I am committed to keep going regularly this time.

Merciless, SA requires constant treatment. In the early stages, you will need more exposure such as attending every toastmaster meeting. Later, you can attend meeting whenever you feel you need. I belong to 3 clubs. I am not very active as my SA is low. If I feel my heart racing I will give a speech to the 3 clubs and in a short time feel better.

tomcoldaba · 03-08-2009, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bht96

Yeah, I was wondering about toastmasters as well. I just started therapy two weeks ago and my therapist said that at some point soon he will ask me to join toastmasters. He told me that usually 90% of the members have some type of social anxiety (generalized, or just performance anxiety) and that its a safe enough environment that you can actually admit that you have SA and the members can relate to you and be supporive. I imagine, that in itself should take a lot of pressure off.

I agree many members of my clubs have some type of social anxiety. Many of officers of toastmasters have anxiety issues. People who need public speaking skills usually go to Dale Carnegie or some other public speaking course and use toastmasters for practice. They generally drop out once their skills improve.

John_in_SF · 03-09-2009, 06:19 PM

Fear of public speaking is extremely common, so you could say that many, many people have at least one specific social phobia. It's pretty easy for them to go to Toastmasters because they don't fear social situations in general. For those with more full-blown social anxiety, it's difficult to get started.

I went to a meeting and it was very structured. Mostly there were planned, assigned speeches that people make to progress through different levels. Then there were the extemporaneous Table Topics. Finally there were evaluations.

The part I liked the most was the "Ah" Counter. This person's job was to tally every occurrence of "ah", "um", crutch words, etc. that distract from the flow of speech. This is one measure President Obama (Mr. "Ah") would fail miserably.

iwannabecoolplzhelp · 03-17-2009, 10:17 PM

I think toastmasters is a good idea for someone who has already gotten past the point of just being able to attend public functions. If you get to the point that toastmasters feels comfortable, then try an acting class. I am in a class now where I do dramas, and use character voices and stuff, it's pretty scary and I can't wait for it to be over, lol, but now giving a speech seems easy in comparison. Whereas before the acting class I would about crap my pants giving a speech!

03-02-2009, 07:34 PM	#1 (permalink)
eyesonmywall Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: New Jersey Gender: Female Age: 25 Posts: 195	Toastmasters? Has anyone here had any luck going to Toastmasters? How was the experience and has it helped in your daily life, especially work? I tried to go once, but I chickened out. __________________ "Is this the best I can be? Is this the best I can give? Cause I wanna break out and just live my life I wanna wake up and find out i'm alive" -Elisa

03-04-2009, 11:46 PM	#5 (permalink)
mind_games Status: dances, like a fridge Join Date: Nov 2008 Age: 23 Posts: 1,568	I just got inducted to my local Toastmasters group last week. In the next meeting I'm gonna be a timer. It can be intimidating, but its only because most the members have been there for a while and are good at speech making. There have also been moments when members have struggled, especially at the Table Topics sections, which made me realise they are human afterall. I'm gonna stick through it somehow. __________________ "this is not me, this is me reacting to your perception of me"

03-05-2009, 04:21 AM	#6 (permalink)
slylikeafox Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Michigan Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 1,685	I've been thinking of joining for awhile. There is one at a sugar beet factory where I used to work. I don't know if it is only open to employees. I guess the only way to find out is to get up the nerve and call. That is reassuring that a lot of members tend to have SA. __________________ "Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself" - Joel Hawes

03-03-2009, 04:50 AM	#2 (permalink)
hyacinth_dragon Status: SAS Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: USA Gender: Female Age: 26 Posts: 740	I haven't gone but have always wanted to. No meetings are compatible with my work schedule. I would say go for it!

03-04-2009, 06:19 PM	#3 (permalink)
tomcoldaba Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 676	I have been a member of 3 toastmaster clubs for over a year. My SA now is very low. I do not have any issues talking at meetings or giving a mini presentations. When I first joined these clubs, I served as a timer. I refused to participate in table topics as it was intimidating. Table topics is you are asked to speak on a topic for 2 minutes. That is tough with SA and all. Many members of my clubs are very shy or have SA and they do not know it. My life had changed after I attended 25 meetings; I gave speeches, did evaluations, ran the meetings. Now I experience no issues talking to strangers, at meetings. Please do join toastmasters. It will help you in your career and with SA. The cost of membership generally runs around $45 for 6 months per clubs.

03-04-2009, 08:54 PM	#4 (permalink)
bht96 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Dallas, TX Gender: Male Age: 29 Posts: 147	Yeah, I was wondering about toastmasters as well. I just started therapy two weeks ago and my therapist said that at some point soon he will ask me to join toastmasters. He told me that usually 90% of the members have some type of social anxiety (generalized, or just performance anxiety) and that its a safe enough environment that you can actually admit that you have SA and the members can relate to you and be supporive. I imagine, that in itself should take a lot of pressure off.

03-06-2009, 04:44 PM	#7 (permalink)
merciless Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Bay Area, CA Gender: Male Posts: 5	I would recommend joining Toastmasters. But part of it is finding a club with supportive members and committing to going regularly. I have been a member for 4 years. For the first couple of years, I was really involved. Even though I had to take medication to attend, I was able to cope with anxiety better and improve my speaking skills. Then I didn't go for over a year because of my work schedule. I have just started going back and it literally feels like starting over. I feel anxious just being in the room, my heart races and my body shakes when I have to speak, and I barely can stand up to speak. I'm off meds because I am in CBT therapy so it could be partly because of that. But most likely it is because my condition has regressed because I am out of practice. I have learned my lesson so I am committed to keep going regularly this time.

03-06-2009, 05:07 PM	#8 (permalink)
chrisb3428 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 19	Can anyone describe what a typical Toastmasters meeting would be like? I was thinking about joining

03-06-2009, 07:59 PM	#9 (permalink)
bugfreak Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Age: 31 Posts: 69	i would love to join. i've looked up info online but that's about as far as i have gotten. i don't really have extra money right now and i'm a chicken. i want so much to be able to do this. i don't have access to a doctor or medications so i can't really seek any treatment or therapy either. i guess i should make it more of a firm goal and priority with a deadline to join a toastmasters. what happens if you pay the fee then chicken out? are you just sol out of the money?

03-07-2009, 12:26 AM	#10 (permalink)
merciless Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Bay Area, CA Gender: Male Posts: 5	In response to the previous two posts, I would suggest contacting your local Toastmasters club officer to see if you can participate as a guest and just sit in at a meeting before considering joining. Because if you do join, there are no refunds as far as I know. This way, you can check how the meeting is conducted since it can vary from club to club. You will also get an idea if the club members are people you can potentially feel comfortable with. I do have to warn that even guests are encouraged to speak at meetings. You might have to introduce yourself or picked to participate in Table Topics where you speak about a random topic for 1 to 2 minutes in front of the room (I feel anxious just thinking about it). So if you are worried about that, I would suggest letting the meeting organizer know before the meeting that you are there just to observe.

03-09-2009, 06:19 PM	#13 (permalink)
John_in_SF Status: Good grief Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: San Francisco, California Gender: Male Posts: 261	Fear of public speaking is extremely common, so you could say that many, many people have at least one specific social phobia. It's pretty easy for them to go to Toastmasters because they don't fear social situations in general. For those with more full-blown social anxiety, it's difficult to get started. I went to a meeting and it was very structured. Mostly there were planned, assigned speeches that people make to progress through different levels. Then there were the extemporaneous Table Topics. Finally there were evaluations. The part I liked the most was the "Ah" Counter. This person's job was to tally every occurrence of "ah", "um", crutch words, etc. that distract from the flow of speech. This is one measure President Obama (Mr. "Ah") would fail miserably.

03-17-2009, 10:17 PM	#14 (permalink)
iwannabecoolplzhelp Status: SAS Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 132	I think toastmasters is a good idea for someone who has already gotten past the point of just being able to attend public functions. If you get to the point that toastmasters feels comfortable, then try an acting class. I am in a class now where I do dramas, and use character voices and stuff, it's pretty scary and I can't wait for it to be over, lol, but now giving a speech seems easy in comparison. Whereas before the acting class I would about crap my pants giving a speech!