Social Anxiety Support

helpless · 10-22-2009, 03:56 PM

I thiink in reading threads on this board, there are "12 Step" groups for people with SA.

While I very much respect & admire the work of Bill Wilson of Alcoholics Anonymous, I do not think his "12 Steps" are the answer to any and every question & the solution to any & every problem.

In fact, I think that the idea that the 12 steps can solve any problem, has turned into a fad & a cult, which I think is not what Bill Wilson ever intended.

On one of these threads on this board, I think I did find a reference to an SA Anonymous, but don't know if it is a 12 step group.

A fellow SA sufferer friend of mine talk on the phone & call ourselves "SA Anonymous," but we do not follow any 12 steps.

Delicate · 10-22-2009, 05:05 PM

I think you're relating it to AA far too much. I'm actually in a ten step group, it's a support group so what's so negative about that? It's actually for eating disorders. You might just switch off now but but I do have a valid point because it's called "coping skills" and they touch on a subject such as "self esteem" or "coping with anxiety" "relationships" which all relate to my SA too. You get a bit of a talk and some advice from 2 therapists and you can talk and get your opinion across and they essentially give you the tools to deal with it on your own aferwards or they offer one on one therapy. I had to have an interview beforehand which was basically to say are you going to be positive enough and motivated enough to get through this? Otherwise you're wasting your own time and money. I don't understand what you see so negative about "12 steps"? it's all down to self help.

helpless · 10-23-2009, 02:41 PM

Delicate:

Thanks for the reply. I don't think the 12 Steps are negative.

I just think that some groups using them are too strict, seeing them as requirements, rather than suggestions.

Hope your support group is helping you.

Its having 10 steps rather than 12 is what I feel support groups should do: not rigidly adhere to AA's 12 Steps, which, again Bill W said were "suggested" steps.

Delicate · 10-26-2009, 03:03 PM

I forgot I'd replied to this, sorry lol.

Are the 12 steps specific steps? I've never really understood either.

You do what's best for you anyway, have you got any help yet?

Take care,

zookeeper · 10-26-2009, 04:16 PM

I find that 12 step programs try to make everyone follow the same path through their addiction/anxiety/whatever, when in reality everyone has a different experience that needs to be acknowledged. There is no right path out of darkness, though there are definitely some wrong ones.

helpless · 10-27-2009, 03:28 PM

Thanks for the replies, Delicate & zookeeper!

Bill Wilson had his 12 steps divided into specific suggestions for Alcoholics to "recover," but I think it is possible to combine some of them, and it could just as well have been 9 or 10 steps.

Bill liked the numerology of the 12 steps corresponding to the 12 Apostles of Jesus (and, some Bible students claim 12 is God's Perfect Number, representing also the 12 Tribes of Israel).

I'm not into numerology myself.

This group I go to is 99 % about addictions, altho it claims the 12 steps can help anybody recover from anything, even the trauma of having cancer (I suppose even it is untreatable).

I don't think I'd tell it to the group, because some might be offended & insulted, but I think I have become addicted to the 12 step group itself, altho I'm not having any problems with alcohol & other recreational drugs.

Have not missed a Monday night meeting since June. Thot about not going last nite, but went, altho a little late, and stayed for the whole meeting.

I can't say it's really done anything as far as solving my problems, but for a person who's as isolated from others as I am, it's been good for me to meet other people, who I like, and like me, and realize that others have the same type of problems I do, & some have even worse problems.

It's an old saying about people coming to realize that other people besides themselves have problems, too.

sean7phil · 11-15-2009, 01:52 PM

Hi,

First I want to say that I wish you the very best.

But I also want to let you know that the 12 Steps have reduced my Social Anxiety problems by more than 80% for over 5 years now.

Using the SPA 12 Steps in combination with attending Social Phobics Anonymous / Social Anxiety Anonymous support groups (over the phone and locally) are what did it for me. And I have seen a number of other people helped by this approach as well.

However, the SPA/SoCAA version of the 12 Steps is a little different, and it has been adapted to help social anxiety problems, so its not exactly the same as A.A.

The website is here if ever curious: www.healsocialanxiety.com
and here is the Link SPA / SoCAA Free Online Book on Overcoming Social Anxiety Disorder Using the 12 Steps (the book is only about 2/3rds finished, but it still has a lot of stuff in it that has helped my social anxiety): www.spalibrary.info

I don't think that the SPA/ SoCAA 12 Steps are the only way to get better. But they have made a huge difference for me.

Sincerely, John

Quote:

Originally Posted by helpless

I thiink in reading threads on this board, there are "12 Step" groups for people with SA.

While I very much respect & admire the work of Bill Wilson of Alcoholics Anonymous, I do not think his "12 Steps" are the answer to any and every question & the solution to any & every problem.

In fact, I think that the idea that the 12 steps can solve any problem, has turned into a fad & a cult, which I think is not what Bill Wilson ever intended.

On one of these threads on this board, I think I did find a reference to an SA Anonymous, but don't know if it is a 12 step group.

A fellow SA sufferer friend of mine talk on the phone & call ourselves "SA Anonymous," but we do not follow any 12 steps.

helpless · 11-16-2009, 01:36 PM

John:

Many thanks for the post, and the links, which I would have found only with great difficulty, or never, thru my own efforts.

I will check them out.

Glad the 12 step program is working for you!

Quote:

Originally Posted by sean7phil

Hi,

First I want to say that I wish you the very best.

But I also want to let you know that the 12 Steps have reduced my Social Anxiety problems by more than 80% for over 5 years now.

Using the SPA 12 Steps in combination with attending Social Phobics Anonymous / Social Anxiety Anonymous support groups (over the phone and locally) are what did it for me. And I have seen a number of other people helped by this approach as well.

However, the SPA/SoCAA version of the 12 Steps is a little different, and it has been adapted to help social anxiety problems, so its not exactly the same as A.A.

The website is here if ever curious: www.healsocialanxiety.com
and here is the Link SPA / SoCAA Free Online Book on Overcoming Social Anxiety Disorder Using the 12 Steps (the book is only about 2/3rds finished, but it still has a lot of stuff in it that has helped my social anxiety): www.spalibrary.info

I don't think that the SPA/ SoCAA 12 Steps are the only way to get better. But they have made a huge difference for me.

Sincerely, John

Music · 11-18-2009, 01:46 PM

I don't understand how the 12 steps can help people with SA, sounds strange.
It's not like we have to be forgotten to have SA. My opinon and first post! hehe.

English is not my native speech, so correct med or don't.

Have a great day/night

Music

helpless · 11-19-2009, 02:14 PM

Glad to have you with us, Music!

10-22-2009, 03:56 PM	#1 (permalink)
helpless Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 110	"12 Step" Groups I thiink in reading threads on this board, there are "12 Step" groups for people with SA. While I very much respect & admire the work of Bill Wilson of Alcoholics Anonymous, I do not think his "12 Steps" are the answer to any and every question & the solution to any & every problem. In fact, I think that the idea that the 12 steps can solve any problem, has turned into a fad & a cult, which I think is not what Bill Wilson ever intended. On one of these threads on this board, I think I did find a reference to an SA Anonymous, but don't know if it is a 12 step group. A fellow SA sufferer friend of mine talk on the phone & call ourselves "SA Anonymous," but we do not follow any 12 steps. __________________ Once An SA, Always an SA

10-22-2009, 05:05 PM	#2 (permalink)
Delicate Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: England Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 755	I think you're relating it to AA far too much. I'm actually in a ten step group, it's a support group so what's so negative about that? It's actually for eating disorders. You might just switch off now but but I do have a valid point because it's called "coping skills" and they touch on a subject such as "self esteem" or "coping with anxiety" "relationships" which all relate to my SA too. You get a bit of a talk and some advice from 2 therapists and you can talk and get your opinion across and they essentially give you the tools to deal with it on your own aferwards or they offer one on one therapy. I had to have an interview beforehand which was basically to say are you going to be positive enough and motivated enough to get through this? Otherwise you're wasting your own time and money. I don't understand what you see so negative about "12 steps"? it's all down to self help. __________________ Safety Rule Update# Don't talk to strangers... unless you want to meet anyone ever. Demetri Martin

10-23-2009, 02:41 PM	#3 (permalink)
helpless Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 110	Delicate: Thanks for the reply. I don't think the 12 Steps are negative. I just think that some groups using them are too strict, seeing them as requirements, rather than suggestions. Hope your support group is helping you. Its having 10 steps rather than 12 is what I feel support groups should do: not rigidly adhere to AA's 12 Steps, which, again Bill W said were "suggested" steps. __________________ Once An SA, Always an SA

10-26-2009, 03:03 PM	#4 (permalink)
Delicate Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: England Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 755	I forgot I'd replied to this, sorry lol. Are the 12 steps specific steps? I've never really understood either. You do what's best for you anyway, have you got any help yet? Take care, __________________ Safety Rule Update# Don't talk to strangers... unless you want to meet anyone ever. Demetri Martin

10-26-2009, 04:16 PM	#5 (permalink)
zookeeper Status: The floor is lava!! Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Soap Fortress Gender: Male Age: 30 Posts: 1,067	I find that 12 step programs try to make everyone follow the same path through their addiction/anxiety/whatever, when in reality everyone has a different experience that needs to be acknowledged. There is no right path out of darkness, though there are definitely some wrong ones. __________________ You leapt into the abyss, but find It only goes up to your knees, ~ Nick Cave

10-27-2009, 03:28 PM	#6 (permalink)
helpless Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 110	Thanks for the replies, Delicate & zookeeper! Bill Wilson had his 12 steps divided into specific suggestions for Alcoholics to "recover," but I think it is possible to combine some of them, and it could just as well have been 9 or 10 steps. Bill liked the numerology of the 12 steps corresponding to the 12 Apostles of Jesus (and, some Bible students claim 12 is God's Perfect Number, representing also the 12 Tribes of Israel). I'm not into numerology myself. This group I go to is 99 % about addictions, altho it claims the 12 steps can help anybody recover from anything, even the trauma of having cancer (I suppose even it is untreatable). I don't think I'd tell it to the group, because some might be offended & insulted, but I think I have become addicted to the 12 step group itself, altho I'm not having any problems with alcohol & other recreational drugs. Have not missed a Monday night meeting since June. Thot about not going last nite, but went, altho a little late, and stayed for the whole meeting. I can't say it's really done anything as far as solving my problems, but for a person who's as isolated from others as I am, it's been good for me to meet other people, who I like, and like me, and realize that others have the same type of problems I do, & some have even worse problems. It's an old saying about people coming to realize that other people besides themselves have problems, too. __________________ Once An SA, Always an SA

11-18-2009, 01:46 PM	#9 (permalink)
Music Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 1	I don't understand how the 12 steps can help people with SA, sounds strange. It's not like we have to be forgotten to have SA. My opinon and first post! hehe. English is not my native speech, so correct med or don't. Have a great day/night Music

11-19-2009, 02:14 PM	#10 (permalink)
helpless Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 110	Glad to have you with us, Music! __________________ Once An SA, Always an SA