Social Anxiety Support

guitargirl · 08-30-2009, 07:08 PM

I want to be able to look in the mirror and atleast one time this year and be able to think that I am pretty.

Daxter · 08-30-2009, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guitargirl

I want to be able to look in the mirror and atleast one time this year and be able to think that I am pretty.

Definitely a good goal even non-SAs should try to achieve.

Is this going to be a purely mental effort or will you try to improve yourself physically through workouts/clothing makeovers/haircuts?

strawberryjulius · 08-30-2009, 08:07 PM

I'd like to be able to do this too. I can from time to time, but I want it to be more often.
Good luck!

_AJ_ · 09-03-2009, 01:13 PM

its all about who you're comparing yourself to

when you become an old geezer and look back at old photos you will not believe how pretty you were

WintersTale · 09-03-2009, 02:21 PM

I want to look in the mirror and think I'm handsome, so yeah I'm making this a goal too.

delirium · 09-03-2009, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by _AJ_

its all about who you're comparing yourself to

when you become an old geezer and look back at old photos you will not believe how pretty you were

It's not about comparing yourself. Comparing yourself to other people is the problem. Stop comparing yourself to some ideal image, or to some celebrity. This is not about some objective standard of beauty. It's about your psychology, how you view yourself... it's about your self-image.

You look the way you do. You can either accept it and find beauty in what you were given, and feel good about yourself. Or you can beat yourself up everyday for not looking like someone else, and make yourself feel bad.

meowgirl · 09-03-2009, 05:58 PM

that's a good goal to start with :3 i used to struggle with that too... hope you have fun dressing up

As for "choosing" how to feel about yourself, it's not really that simple. Sometimes you have to learn to love yourself slowly, choices are not black and white.

delirium · 09-03-2009, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meowgirl

that's a good goal to start with :3 i used to struggle with that too... hope you have fun dressing up

As for "choosing" how to feel about yourself, it's not really that simple. Sometimes you have to learn to love yourself slowly, choices are not black and white.

It is that simple. It's just not quick or easy. I'm pretty much just referring to David Burns' chapter on self-esteem. Your thoughts control your emotions, so think realistically about yourself. Do the CBT daily, and eventually you'll find yourself with a healthier self-image.

Catlover4100 · 09-04-2009, 03:24 PM

I actually thought I was sort of pretty yesterday. Not exactly Victoria's Secret model, but it beats being convinced you're deformed and hideous!

Fuzzy Logic · 09-17-2009, 02:49 AM

I have been excercising lately and it's amazing how much better I look. I though it would just add muscle definition but it shows in the face as well, you can sort of see it when someone is healthier. I look so much better than I do in photographs from this time last year.

I have actually started going out and buying clothes because I like them, not just because my old ones need replacing. It feels great not looking at yourself and thinking "I look like crap today."

markx · 09-17-2009, 01:43 PM

I already see a handsome person when I look in the mirror but it doesn't help because I know that's just an illusion. As strange as it may seem, I'd like to look in the mirror and see an ugly person - the person that other people seem to see, the one who appears in all my photographs. Maybe if I could see that person, I'd be able to understand people's reactions and more easily accept the rejection.

WintersTale · 09-17-2009, 06:02 PM

I've been looking in the mirror lately, and seeing an attractive guy. I'm not sure if girls see that, though.

sabueed · 09-17-2009, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WintersTale

I've been looking in the mirror lately, and seeing an attractive guy. I'm not sure if girls see that, though.

Seriously. I look in the mirror everyday. I Like the way I look. I see myself as this good looking guy, but also not too sure if I am attractive to girls. I really want to know. Even on dating sites, I am still not sure if girls will find me attractive in real life, because people look different in pictures. Life sux

Happ2beme · 09-18-2009, 01:53 AM

Quote:

look back at old photos you will not believe how pretty you were

Aww, so true.

08-30-2009, 07:08 PM	#1 (permalink)
guitargirl Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Gender: Female Posts: 45	think I'm pretty I want to be able to look in the mirror and atleast one time this year and be able to think that I am pretty.

08-30-2009, 08:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
strawberryjulius Status: ^_^ Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Australia Gender: Female Age: 18 Posts: 1,568	I'd like to be able to do this too. I can from time to time, but I want it to be more often. Good luck! __________________ Last.fm▪Anime "And if you've been let down, it might not be the last time. Cheer up, it will hurt much less tomorrow. We're all tired of **ing up and that's not just being sorry. It means brush the dirt off, get up and try again." NaNoWriMo Word Count: 470/50,000**

09-03-2009, 01:13 PM	#4 (permalink)
_AJ_ Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada Posts: 731	its all about who you're comparing yourself to when you become an old geezer and look back at old photos you will not believe how pretty you were __________________ Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the decision to act in spite of it.

09-03-2009, 02:21 PM	#5 (permalink)
WintersTale Status: Falling into eternity Join Date: May 2007 Gender: Male Age: 27 Posts: 1,506	I want to look in the mirror and think I'm handsome, so yeah I'm making this a goal too. __________________ "Every moment of your life Is a chance to get it right Any moment you've been living in You could turn it on like a light All the weight of the years Has got me burstin' into tears Standin' here with nothin' I stand alone inside my fears." - Third Eye Blind

09-03-2009, 05:58 PM	#7 (permalink)
meowgirl Status: legend of the seas Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 134	that's a good goal to start with :3 i used to struggle with that too... hope you have fun dressing up As for "choosing" how to feel about yourself, it's not really that simple. Sometimes you have to learn to love yourself slowly, choices are not black and white. __________________ Because I'm easy come, easy go

09-04-2009, 03:24 PM	#9 (permalink)
Catlover4100 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Gasport, NY Gender: Female Age: 17 Posts: 348	I actually thought I was sort of pretty yesterday. Not exactly Victoria's Secret model, but it beats being convinced you're deformed and hideous!

09-17-2009, 02:49 AM	#10 (permalink)
Fuzzy Logic Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: United Kingdom, Northern Ireland Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 307	I have been excercising lately and it's amazing how much better I look. I though it would just add muscle definition but it shows in the face as well, you can sort of see it when someone is healthier. I look so much better than I do in photographs from this time last year. I have actually started going out and buying clothes because I like them, not just because my old ones need replacing. It feels great not looking at yourself and thinking "I look like crap today."

09-17-2009, 01:43 PM	#11 (permalink)
markx Status: Stir crazy Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: UK Gender: Male Age: 44 Posts: 673	I already see a handsome person when I look in the mirror but it doesn't help because I know that's just an illusion. As strange as it may seem, I'd like to look in the mirror and see an ugly person - the person that other people seem to see, the one who appears in all my photographs. Maybe if I could see that person, I'd be able to understand people's reactions and more easily accept the rejection.

09-17-2009, 06:02 PM	#12 (permalink)
WintersTale Status: Falling into eternity Join Date: May 2007 Gender: Male Age: 27 Posts: 1,506	I've been looking in the mirror lately, and seeing an attractive guy. I'm not sure if girls see that, though. __________________ "Every moment of your life Is a chance to get it right Any moment you've been living in You could turn it on like a light All the weight of the years Has got me burstin' into tears Standin' here with nothin' I stand alone inside my fears." - Third Eye Blind