Ridiculous goals and hierarchies

[supreme.mugwump]

So what are some of the most rediculous goals you have set, and what steps did you take? E.g., one of mine at the moment:

Goal: use a shopping trolley when shopping alone
1. Go shopping with someone and be ‘in-charge’ of the trolley
2. Go shopping alone with one of those miniature trolley/baset things
3. Go shopping alone and use a trolley with a basket in it (for fast escape!)
4. Go shopping alone with a trolley with a small amount of items so I don’t need to take the trolley to the car
5. Go shopping alone with a trolley and take it to the car

...I haven't started yet.

OK, spill, because if nobody else writes stuff here I am going to look like a real twit!

[tony0306]

Originally Posted by supreme.mugwump

So what are some of the most rediculous goals you have set, and what steps did you take? E.g., one of mine at the moment:

Goal: use a shopping trolley when shopping alone
1. Go shopping with someone and be ‘in-charge’ of the trolley
2. Go shopping alone with one of those miniature trolley/baset things
3. Go shopping alone and use a trolley with a basket in it (for fast escape!)
4. Go shopping alone with a trolley with a small amount of items so I don’t need to take the trolley to the car
5. Go shopping alone with a trolley and take it to the car

...I haven't started yet.

OK, spill, because if nobody else writes stuff here I am going to look like a real twit!

This is a perfect example, and if you follow this you'll be on your way to success.

Someone might add an entry above #1. They would say, "Go shopping and let someone else be in charge of the trolley." And, if necessary someone may put above that, "Go to store with someone, have that someone buy one candybar in checkout lane". Whatever it takes to build one success to get you in and out of the store. Then, as you described, work your way up to more successes.

Back in March, my list was like this (I used to say on the forum it was a friend of mine, but it was me):

1. look at front door
2. touch front door handle
3. open front door and look out
4. take step outside
5. go to end of driveway
6. walk one house over
7. walk two houses over
8. walk to end of the block
9. walk around the block
10. walk around block at slower pace, wave hand and say "hi" to neighbors
11. use breathing excersizes and positive thought processes when talking to neighbor(s), knowing that they don't know I'm nervous.

I accomplished tasks 1-9 within two days by practicing several times a day. I accomplished tasks 10-11 by the end of the week. I no longer fear it and I no longer have nervous episodes when I do it as a result. I continue to walk around the block every day so I don't lose what I gained and start fearing it again. One bad thing happened. When I started to talk to my neighbor across the street, he's like a hawk and rushes out to talk everytime I leave my house. He must have a boring life! haha. I intend on using that knowledge, knowing when I do something enough to no longer fear it as dangerous, then I will no longer need to experience nerviousness when doing whatever that is.

Current list is below. It will take more time, but I am up to #5 now. I'm not ready yet for #6. I may bounce back and forth between 5 and 6 if necessary to succeed:

1. go into "fast food" restaurant with safe-person for "carbonated beverage"
2. go into "fast food: restaurant with safe-person for burger and fries.
3. go into regular restaurant with safe-person for carbonated beverage.
4. go into regular restaurant with safe-person for appetizer.
5. go into regular restaurant with safe-person for meal.
6. go into fast food restaurant alone for burger and fries
7. go into regular restaurant alone for carbonated beverage (at bar)
8. go into regular restaurant alone for appetizer
9. go into regular restaurant alone for meal

I applaud you for starting this post, and applaud with more enthusiasm for you to work on your lists.

[LostPancake]

Originally Posted by tony0306

Back in March, my list was like this (I used to say on the forum it was a friend of mine, but it was me):

1. look at front door
2. touch front door handle
3. open front door and look out
4. take step outside
5. go to end of driveway
6. walk one house over
7. walk two houses over
8. walk to end of the block
9. walk around the block
10. walk around block at slower pace, wave hand and say "hi" to neighbors
11. use breathing excersizes and positive thought processes when talking to neighbor(s), knowing that they don't know I'm nervous.

This is great - I think I'll borrow and adapt your list, because I've often wanted to go for a walk around the neighborhood, but have felt too nervous about doing it. And I have a bike which I haven't used very much either.

[supreme.mugwump]

Originally Posted by tony0306

Someone might add an entry above #1. They would say, "Go shopping and let someone else be in charge of the trolley." And, if necessary someone may put above that, "Go to store with someone, have that someone buy one candybar in checkout lane". Whatever it takes to build one success to get you in and out of the store. Then, as you described, work your way up to more successes.

Wow! Your goals are really good! Much more structured than mine It's great that you have been working through them and make big achievements! I think there are probably some gaps in my hierarchy because I can't tackle it. I can't ask someone to go shopping with me because I'm scared of using a trolley! Also, I haven't quite figured out the check-out part yet. And you can't really use a trolley around the shop without taking it to the checkout. I wish I could split those steps! I think the frustrating thing is that we know these things are physically possible, but it just seems too anxiety-provoking to try. Why do I need a trolley anyway? I can just break my arms with a basket!