My great battle for this summer!!! CCHHHAARRGEE!!!

[_AJ_]

thank you, thank you
good luck with that speech class


yesterday I went out and had coffee with my buddy. I had alot of fun chatting with him, which is excellent!
then we went to see a movie and we couldnt find seats and then I saw some, but instead of going all the way around, I just jumped over all the chairs to beat other people to them! I felt a little embarrassed, but thats ok, I did it anyway.

[_AJ_]

Ok, heres my new subconsious programming, starting today:

If I see someone:
I assume friendly until proven otherwise and am happy to see them

If I feel someone doesn’t want me there:
I stop judging them as being snobby without proof, and assume friendly until proven otherwise,
Then I ask myself "Why so serious?"
Then I stop any desire to please them and ask myself "How can I enjoy myself here"

If I am angry over something small:
I find it humorous and think "why so serious??"

If someone is angry at me over something small:
I find it humorous and think "why so serious??"

If someone is angry at me over something important:
I be solution oriented and find win-win solution

If facing any difficulty in life:
I see it as a fun challenge

If I experience any failure in life:
I see it as a humorous screw up and a good learning experience

If I feel depressed:
I appreciate everything I do have that the less fortunate do not


The programing procedure will be as follows:
1) memorize the above list
2) At any point that I notice that I am not doing the conditions, I immediately correct myself
3) I mark the beginning of this on the calendar, and
if at any time I am aware that Im breaking the conditions and don't correct myself immediately,
then I declare it a failure and mark the failure date and then see how long I lasted for. Then I try again and try to beat my own record.


the combination of this programming with all my social outings should create rapid change

[_AJ_]

Ok, i havent done anything in 4 days!!
I need to do something!!
I just dont want to

but i gotta do something!!

[_AJ_]

ok, I went out for dinner with family on my birthday on friday, whoopidy do, big accomplishment, haha

and on saturday I went to the world water park with some friends, and i felt a bit anxious being in a swim suit with them all day, but I got over it , yay

then we all had dinner and babbled. I was having trouble remembering those subconsicious conditions up there^ while i was socializing. and when im socialing is when its most important to apply them!! so ill have to really memorize them.

but compared to previous outings, I felt muuuuuuch more comfortable after applying those conditions for a week


the best way Ive found of realizing Im breaking them is if Im feeling any painful emotion like fear, sadness or anger. so ive learned to make corrective thinking immediately when i feel any of those

[JMX]

AJ, this is very inspiring. Keep up the good work.

I think I will try this once the things in my life are situated (job in the summer, school in the fall). Maybe not as much as you, but now I realize that in life, you need to contribute in order to receive.

[_AJ_]

thanks


well i went to a law of attraction meetup alone, and it was all total strangers. everything was fine. Then my nose started running, so i made a break for it

[rockst4r]

you're the man AJ! ;]

[slylikeafox]

AJ, congrats on your successes! You are doing great At least you gave the law of attraction meatup a chance. That can be really annoying when your nose starts running. I hate when I'm sick and that happens in class.

[_AJ_]

daaah! havent dane anything in awhile

this isnt over though!

[_AJ_]

Ok, new policy:
socializing is the same as excersizing

I expect it to be painful, and thats ok
the more pain the more gain
it is a freakin chore and thats ok

who cares if almost everyone else finds it fun!


ok, now once i can get myself to agree with that and accept that, then i just need to get this workout plan going

[_AJ_]

ok, thats it! I ve had it!!

Im gona put an end to this sa ****!!

me and some friends have formed a goal setting group where we all help each other achieve goals.

Im gona use this group support to give me the final push i need to beat this!!!

[slylikeafox]

Originally Posted by _AJ_

Ok, new policy:
socializing is the same as excersizing

I expect it to be painful, and thats ok
the more pain the more gain
it is a freakin chore and thats ok

who cares if almost everyone else finds it fun!

I like the way you think

That's great about the goal setting group. I hope it helps you to finally conquer sa. Wish I could form something like that in my area.

[DanCilley]

AJ, this is very inspirational. This is the kind of enthusiasm needed to overcome SA. You are motivating me.

[fallingdownonmyface]

one of the better threads...

good job

can i ask, are these people you are just randomly meeting, or are they long time friends/acquaintances?

[Catlover4100]

I especially like the one about proposing marriage to random strangers lol:-) Good luck, you can do it!

My goals are slightly less ambitious haha! But I am getting my learner's permit and taking driver's ed (driver's ed is an SA thing, getting my permit is more of a symbolic achievement over my phobia of driving). I am also shadowing a veterinarian for a few days so I can ask for career advice, and doing community service for NHS.

[_AJ_]

thanks everyone, I like reading these comments

Originally Posted by fallingdownonmyface

one of the better threads...

good job

can i ask, are these people you are just randomly meeting, or are they long time friends/acquaintances?

they're part of a social anxiety group Ive been attending for a year, so they're friends


so i met up and did the goal setting thing yesterday, and one of the goals is to initiate conversation to one stranger every day, and make a phone or skype call everyday.

the objective:
Become Socially Independent!
Characteristics of a socially independent person:
-They do not let fear stop them from approaching strangers
-They can go alone to a party or social gathering and enjoy themselves by interacting with others
-They can form close friendships and relationships without needing others to do it for them

The talking to a stranger is a fear-busting excersize
Calling someone is for conversation practice

so basically, ill just keep trying talk like its an excersize, and while doing the talking i will maintain a positive, relaxed, acepting, fun attitude about the whole thing. (like cbt+exp)

today:
I talked to the guy at macs and he responded quite nicely, which was unexpected to my negative thinking, it was fun having a little conversation.

I asked people on chat to skype, but they didnt want to, so I tried calling some people, but no one answered. so i ended up calling someone from the goal setting group, which is better than nothing. we didnt talk long, but we did talk, so yay!

[slylikeafox]

I asked people on chat to skype, but they didnt want to, so I tried calling some people, but no one answered. so i ended up calling someone from the goal setting group, which is better than nothing. we didnt talk long, but we did talk, so yay!

I'm not sure how calling from Canada to the US works, but I would answer if you called. I can't use skype, because I don't have a mic on my computer

Congrats on continuing to stick with your goals!

[_AJ_]

Originally Posted by slylikeafox

I'm not sure how calling from Canada to the US works, but I would answer if you called. I can't use skype, because I don't have a mic on my computer

Congrats on continuing to stick with your goals!

awesome! whats your skype name?



today I succeeded in my goals by:
talking to a different guy at macs, but this time I told some jokes and was funny, which was fun.

I called a different person from my SA crew today. she seemed to enjoy chatting with me, which is cool.


man, this is tuff, but i gotta stick to it
Im building a social muscle here

[slylikeafox]

I use the same name as on SAS, but can't speak on skype. I might be getting a new computer soon. Hopefully that one will have a mic or I'll buy one seperately.

Keep working those social muscles

[_AJ_]

ok, what a weekend!

on saturday I met up with people from SAS

today I met up with some others

yay