Social Anxiety Support

SourD · 09-11-2009, 06:22 AM

So, today is my birthday. and every since I've had SA I told myself, if I don't have friends and a life by time I'm 18... well, then it's a hopeless cause. The day is here and nothing has changed. That sucks. I never would have thought I'd still be here after so many years. But it just means I need to try a little harder. For me, things are always more concrete when they're in writing (or some form of it). So here goes. My official goals for this year. If I don't have friends by the time I'm 19, I'm screwed. lol.

- Complete my GED
- Get into college back in my hometown, where I was happy once upon a time
-Start that book I've been planning on writing (lame, I know, but I want to be a writer so)
-Lose at least 20 pounds so I can feel a bit more confident
-Get my first job
-Learn how to drive
-Go to a counselor, and stick with them, to talk about my issues.
-Stop letting alcohol be one of my top priorities. Get control over this
-Get my first real boyfriend
-Become the person I want to be (beautiful on the inside and out)
-Take better care of my dog, never put off walking her and benefiting her just because I don't want to be seen
-Make my dad/best friend take better care of himself, mainly cholesterol
-Take better care of myself
-Maybe, just maybe, quit smoking cigarettes

wow that list was pretty lame but they're the things I need to accomplish to get somewhere, anywhere, else.

18 better be my year, or else.

TorLin · 09-11-2009, 06:27 AM

Good luck SourD !

Ospi · 09-11-2009, 07:02 AM

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

And secondly, those goals are not lame at all, they are realistic and achievable and now you just need to get your head down and work on each one. Try to concentrate on a single goal at a time though otherwise you might overwhelm yourself but with some will power and perseverance I can't see why you could not achieve those goals.

Don't get yourself too caught up on giving all these things a strict time limit though, some take time, it's about taking the steps towards them which is important and if you do that I am sure things will begin to fall into place.

Good luck!!!

CleptaK · 09-11-2009, 09:04 AM

Happy birthday, Sour D! Good on you for setting the goals. Like Ospi said, they're not lame at all. Just take each one on separately and go slow.

I think it's really admirable that you've set these goals at age 18 - I wish I'd had that insight.

Job and education are a great way to meet people, I'm sure you'll make friends in the coming year.

Good luck!

Delicate · 09-11-2009, 09:48 AM

Nothing you said is lame. Shouldn't put yourself down so easily it's all doable things that take time and effort and will benefit you and people you care about so. No there's nothing lame about what you said.

I can be cliche and say, you're only 18, people here are older... etc but that logic is likely to depress you more! One thing I'll say is that I've completely dreaded birthdays for a very long time. Last year it was nothing whatsoever. My birthday's coming up next month and now I have a few good friends who are asking me what I'm going to do and excited about it, and I'm planning on going out and celebrating it properly I don't have many friends but I have a few, they can bring their parters etc, and you just network like that.

What I'm trying to say is things will get better for you because you're determined and seem to have your head screwed on and be very motivated about it. I think sometimes when you set deadlines for yourself it can be depressing if you don't meet them. If I were you I'd keep doing what you're doing, go to therapy, build your confidence a step at a time and try to just be open to friendships as much as possible.

Plus I think your plan is a really good one, good for you, good luck with everything.

SourD · 09-15-2009, 03:51 AM

Thanks for the replies, everyone. I guess what you're saying makes sense, deadlines are only going to drive me crazy. I'll try and get them out of my mind, I just don't want to imagine being in the same situation this time next year. But whatever will be will be, better late than never. It's the journey that counts, not the destination.. and all those other cliche sayings, lol. Thanks for all the insight =)

Delicate · 09-15-2009, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SourD

I'll try and get them out of my mind, I just don't want to imagine being in the same situation this time next year. But whatever will be will be, better late than never. It's the journey that counts, not the destination.. and all those other cliche sayings, lol. Thanks for all the insight =)

lol. Yeah but I don't think that's true I think you're determined and positive and you have plans to go through with so I don't see how next year you'll be in the same situation.
good luck!

hellopiggy · 09-15-2009, 11:30 AM

good luck on those goals and hope you have lots of self-discipline and perserverance!!

09-11-2009, 06:22 AM	#1 (permalink)
SourD Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2009 Gender: Female Age: 18 Posts: 135	My goals for the age of 18 So, today is my birthday. and every since I've had SA I told myself, if I don't have friends and a life by time I'm 18... well, then it's a hopeless cause. The day is here and nothing has changed. That sucks. I never would have thought I'd still be here after so many years. But it just means I need to try a little harder. For me, things are always more concrete when they're in writing (or some form of it). So here goes. My official goals for this year. If I don't have friends by the time I'm 19, I'm screwed. lol. - Complete my GED - Get into college back in my hometown, where I was happy once upon a time -Start that book I've been planning on writing (lame, I know, but I want to be a writer so) -Lose at least 20 pounds so I can feel a bit more confident -Get my first job -Learn how to drive -Go to a counselor, and stick with them, to talk about my issues. -Stop letting alcohol be one of my top priorities. Get control over this -Get my first real boyfriend -Become the person I want to be (beautiful on the inside and out) -Take better care of my dog, never put off walking her and benefiting her just because I don't want to be seen -Make my dad/best friend take better care of himself, mainly cholesterol -Take better care of myself -Maybe, just maybe, quit smoking cigarettes wow that list was pretty lame but they're the things I need to accomplish to get somewhere, anywhere, else. 18 better be my year, or else. __________________ "This experience reminds me of a clock that just wont tick." -Jack Johnson The lunatic is in my head. The lunatic is in my head You raise the blade, you make the change You rearrange me 'til I'm sane. You lock the door And throw away the key There's someone in my head but it's not me.

09-11-2009, 06:27 AM	#2 (permalink)
TorLin Status: MayTheForceBeWithYou Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: California Gender: Male Posts: 17,058	Good luck SourD ! __________________ MTFBWU (May The Force Be With You) - TORLIN AIM, MSN, YIM: T0RL1N Skype: Tor_Lin Visit me at; ToryLing.com \| LivingAnxious \| Facebook \| Myspace \| Last.fm

09-11-2009, 07:02 AM	#3 (permalink)
Ospi Status: Swoit Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Brisbane, Australia Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 1,499	First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! And secondly, those goals are not lame at all, they are realistic and achievable and now you just need to get your head down and work on each one. Try to concentrate on a single goal at a time though otherwise you might overwhelm yourself but with some will power and perseverance I can't see why you could not achieve those goals. Don't get yourself too caught up on giving all these things a strict time limit though, some take time, it's about taking the steps towards them which is important and if you do that I am sure things will begin to fall into place. Good luck!!! __________________ "Racing is life. Anything that happens before or after...is just waiting"

09-11-2009, 09:48 AM	#5 (permalink)
Delicate Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: England Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 758	Nothing you said is lame. Shouldn't put yourself down so easily it's all doable things that take time and effort and will benefit you and people you care about so. No there's nothing lame about what you said. I can be cliche and say, you're only 18, people here are older... etc but that logic is likely to depress you more! One thing I'll say is that I've completely dreaded birthdays for a very long time. Last year it was nothing whatsoever. My birthday's coming up next month and now I have a few good friends who are asking me what I'm going to do and excited about it, and I'm planning on going out and celebrating it properly I don't have many friends but I have a few, they can bring their parters etc, and you just network like that. What I'm trying to say is things will get better for you because you're determined and seem to have your head screwed on and be very motivated about it. I think sometimes when you set deadlines for yourself it can be depressing if you don't meet them. If I were you I'd keep doing what you're doing, go to therapy, build your confidence a step at a time and try to just be open to friendships as much as possible. Plus I think your plan is a really good one, good for you, good luck with everything. __________________ Safety Rule Update# Don't talk to strangers... unless you want to meet anyone ever. Demetri Martin

09-15-2009, 03:51 AM	#6 (permalink)
SourD Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2009 Gender: Female Age: 18 Posts: 135	Thanks for the replies, everyone. I guess what you're saying makes sense, deadlines are only going to drive me crazy. I'll try and get them out of my mind, I just don't want to imagine being in the same situation this time next year. But whatever will be will be, better late than never. It's the journey that counts, not the destination.. and all those other cliche sayings, lol. Thanks for all the insight =) __________________ "This experience reminds me of a clock that just wont tick." -Jack Johnson The lunatic is in my head. The lunatic is in my head You raise the blade, you make the change You rearrange me 'til I'm sane. You lock the door And throw away the key There's someone in my head but it's not me.

09-11-2009, 09:04 AM	#4 (permalink)
CleptaK Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Australia Age: 23 Posts: 21	Happy birthday, Sour D! Good on you for setting the goals. Like Ospi said, they're not lame at all. Just take each one on separately and go slow. I think it's really admirable that you've set these goals at age 18 - I wish I'd had that insight. Job and education are a great way to meet people, I'm sure you'll make friends in the coming year. Good luck!

09-15-2009, 11:30 AM	#8 (permalink)
hellopiggy Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Gender: Female Posts: 37	good luck on those goals and hope you have lots of self-discipline and perserverance!!