Social Anxiety Support

Karah876 · 02-12-2009, 08:42 PM

This is probably lame, but I'm just beginning to fight this anxiety. Anyway I have set a goal to go to the coffee shop this weekend, and actually go in the building. I usually just get my mother to tack my order on to hers while she goes, and I stay at home. But this weekend, I'll go and sit in to drink my coffee. Maybe try to chat a bit with whoever is serving the coffee. It's a very small step but it's a step up from never leaving the house!

slylikeafox · 02-12-2009, 09:02 PM

Doesn't sound lame. I think it is a good goal

Karah876 · 02-12-2009, 09:04 PM

Thanks! I'm pretty excited about it now, but when Saturday morning comes I bet I'll be nervous and shaky lol. I can do it though, and I bet I'll feel a lot better once I do.

slylikeafox · 02-12-2009, 09:10 PM

It's probably best to do it right away Saturday. I find that when I keep waiting another hour to do something, I usually end up not doing it.

Good luck!

kebo · 02-13-2009, 12:05 AM

good for you. Let us know how it turns out

mind_games · 02-13-2009, 04:00 AM

Hey thats a great goal, good luck

We are all at different points in our SA/lives and its all about slowly pushing out of our comfort zones.

sunonthepath · 02-26-2009, 03:22 PM

I was recently released from a Crisis Intervention Unit and one of their main goals was for the clients to make a list of achievable goals; I loathe the idea and I am not sure why. They feel too permanent, too structured and I struggle with sticking to parameters. Having said that, way to go. I admire your courage to both admit and attempt. Good luck!

MsShyKenz · 02-27-2009, 04:13 AM

Good luck! I suggest bringing a book with you so you have something to occupy yourself with in case you get anxious or feel like people are looking at you.

SoloSage · 02-27-2009, 06:39 AM

Thats a good goal. I personally wouldn't even dare sit in a coffee shop by myself. But well done for trying to do this - it shows you're trying to get out there, and is the main aspect in my eyes. Good luck.

LonelyHeart87 · 02-27-2009, 07:01 AM

This is a very smart move on your part. It's part of exposure therapy. Set a hierachy for yourself starting with the least to the most anxiety provoking situations. Start at the bottom and work your way up. Don't rush anything, go at your own pace and get comfortable with every new situation. Good job, great start! How did it go??

power2theweak · 02-27-2009, 07:27 AM

Karah876,

I am just now reading this post. I'm sorry that I didn't read it in time to wish you luck. Congrats on setting a goal for yourself! Please let us know how it went!

bballfan · 02-28-2009, 05:40 PM

Hey that is a great goal to have, I'm a 33 year old male and I always had fears of being in public places I could not even go into stores, I've made a lot of progress in the last year or so, I can go into coffee shops and restaurants now,but yes I am still really shy and find it very hard to strike up conversations with people or carry a conversation unless its about sports or something lol

ShawnLim · 03-24-2009, 08:23 AM

Do you guys shop alone in the shopping mall or shopping complex before?
I've never went to any coffee house alone before.
If possible, I'll ask my friends or family members to accompany me.

Is this a good thing? Or should I learn to be more independent?

02-12-2009, 08:42 PM	#1 (permalink)
Karah876 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Nova Scotia Gender: Female Posts: 13	My goal This is probably lame, but I'm just beginning to fight this anxiety. Anyway I have set a goal to go to the coffee shop this weekend, and actually go in the building. I usually just get my mother to tack my order on to hers while she goes, and I stay at home. But this weekend, I'll go and sit in to drink my coffee. Maybe try to chat a bit with whoever is serving the coffee. It's a very small step but it's a step up from never leaving the house!

02-12-2009, 09:02 PM	#2 (permalink)
slylikeafox Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Michigan Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 1,733	Doesn't sound lame. I think it is a good goal __________________ "Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself" - Joel Hawes

02-12-2009, 09:10 PM	#4 (permalink)
slylikeafox Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Michigan Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 1,733	It's probably best to do it right away Saturday. I find that when I keep waiting another hour to do something, I usually end up not doing it. Good luck! __________________ "Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself" - Joel Hawes

02-13-2009, 04:00 AM	#6 (permalink)
mind_games Status: like a broken toy Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: under some kind of a rock thingee Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 3,565	Hey thats a great goal, good luck We are all at different points in our SA/lives and its all about slowly pushing out of our comfort zones. __________________ \| Never compromise, not even in the face of armageddon. \| "At every major step of my life i made the wrong move hahahaha" \| SucceedSocially.com \| Social Skydiving \| Courage Wolf \|

02-26-2009, 03:22 PM	#7 (permalink)
sunonthepath Status: bearpaws Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Land of fruits and nuts, and some grains too Gender: Female Age: 39 Posts: 21	Hats off - I hate goals I was recently released from a Crisis Intervention Unit and one of their main goals was for the clients to make a list of achievable goals; I loathe the idea and I am not sure why. They feel too permanent, too structured and I struggle with sticking to parameters. Having said that, way to go. I admire your courage to both admit and attempt. Good luck!

02-12-2009, 09:04 PM	#3 (permalink)
Karah876 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Nova Scotia Gender: Female Posts: 13	Thanks! I'm pretty excited about it now, but when Saturday morning comes I bet I'll be nervous and shaky lol. I can do it though, and I bet I'll feel a lot better once I do.

02-13-2009, 12:05 AM	#5 (permalink)
kebo Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 3	good for you. Let us know how it turns out

02-27-2009, 04:13 AM	#8 (permalink)
MsShyKenz Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 134	Good luck! I suggest bringing a book with you so you have something to occupy yourself with in case you get anxious or feel like people are looking at you.

02-27-2009, 06:39 AM	#9 (permalink)
SoloSage Status: Confused Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: A land without any answers Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 731	Thats a good goal. I personally wouldn't even dare sit in a coffee shop by myself. But well done for trying to do this - it shows you're trying to get out there, and is the main aspect in my eyes. Good luck.

02-27-2009, 07:01 AM	#10 (permalink)
LonelyHeart87 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Gender: Female Posts: 170	This is a very smart move on your part. It's part of exposure therapy. Set a hierachy for yourself starting with the least to the most anxiety provoking situations. Start at the bottom and work your way up. Don't rush anything, go at your own pace and get comfortable with every new situation. Good job, great start! How did it go??

02-27-2009, 07:27 AM	#11 (permalink)
power2theweak Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 449	Karah876, I am just now reading this post. I'm sorry that I didn't read it in time to wish you luck. Congrats on setting a goal for yourself! Please let us know how it went!

02-28-2009, 05:40 PM	#12 (permalink)
bballfan Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 22	Hey that is a great goal to have, I'm a 33 year old male and I always had fears of being in public places I could not even go into stores, I've made a lot of progress in the last year or so, I can go into coffee shops and restaurants now,but yes I am still really shy and find it very hard to strike up conversations with people or carry a conversation unless its about sports or something lol

03-24-2009, 08:23 AM	#13 (permalink)
ShawnLim Status: SAS Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Malaysia Gender: Male Posts: 32	Do you guys shop alone in the shopping mall or shopping complex before? I've never went to any coffee house alone before. If possible, I'll ask my friends or family members to accompany me. Is this a good thing? Or should I learn to be more independent?

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