Social Anxiety Support

mind_games · 11-07-2009, 05:13 AM

I will!

, Eventhough the pictures of people dancing on the course website are enough to make me nervous. I might need some liquid courage for this. Wohoo I get a good enough reason to drink again!

To make this a double challenge I could ask a certain girl if she wants to go along with me. But, the whole dance course costs $90 and I hate asking other people to come along to stuff that costs money.
But BUT the first dance class is free, so I could ask her to come along to the first class to 'ease my nerves'.
But but BUT it really won't ease my nerves. In fact it'll do the opposite and freak me the hell out that I have to 'deal' with her AND the dance class.
But but but BUT I've wanted to hang out with her for a while, eventhough I'm not really sure if she'd want to.
But but but but BUT ... I'll stop now.

Dempsey · 11-07-2009, 05:47 AM

Mmm I have a friend from Ecuador that keeps going on about Salsa. Apparently there's a lot to it.

drealm · 11-07-2009, 05:51 AM

I heard women like guys who know how to dance. So knock yourself out man! Just have fun, in no time you'll be familiar with the place and people.

mind_games · 11-07-2009, 05:59 AM

I'ts supposed to be a beginner's course, apparently, so even I should be able to handle it, finger's crossed.

I joined! Well, sort of. I fill out some form, but forgot to let them know I'll be paying in person - its bugging me now (as opposed to online payment). But I guess thats obvious? Bah. Why can't I get things like this right.

veron · 11-07-2009, 06:42 AM

Hey, that sounds fun

I was actually thinking of doing the same thing a few months ago, but changed my mind, hehe.

Dancing can be so fun! Yaaay

jellybelly · 11-07-2009, 01:13 PM

I did a a 6 week beginners salsa class a few years ago and it was a lot of fun. Hope you have a great time

mind_games · 11-07-2009, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mind_games

To make this a double challenge I could ask a certain girl if she wants to go along with me.

She said yes!! Wootness! Now I just gotta figure how not to freak out about my voice, SA, this girl and the dance class itself. I wish I hadn't been so carefree with my paxam stock - I'm all ooooot of it!

.

mind_games · 11-08-2009, 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mind_games

She said yes!! Wootness! Now I just gotta figure how not to freak out about my voice, SA, this girl and the dance class itself. I wish I hadn't been so carefree with my paxam stock - I'm all ooooot of it!

.

Aaaaaaaaaaaand turns out she has plans she can't get out of. I should take the hint.

saillias · 11-08-2009, 12:30 AM

I was thinking about doing the exact same thing.

It's too bad she flaked out but people do that more often than they say yes.

Just wondering, dealing with this sort of situation, how do you suppose you will handle it? I mean, approaching women, asking to dance, being a beginner, etc.

mind_games · 11-08-2009, 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saillias

I was thinking about doing the exact same thing. The thing is though, the whole approach women and ask to dance thing, plus being a clumsy beginner... Well, I would probably hide in the corner unless I got a girl to go with me

Hmm, lol, I didn't realize I'd have to approach women in there!

Well anyway I don't think its going to be that bad. Its not like I have to walk across from end of the hall to the other and ask a girl to dance with me. Well I hope not.

I'm feeling pretty gun-ho about this dance class. I'm over the initial anxiety. This girl cancelling reduced it a bit more. I've been for a run tonight and I'm too tired to be anxious right now, so it's all good.

The class is tomorrow night.

mind_games · 11-08-2009, 11:51 PM

I err didn't quite make it. I got there 10mins late and then couldn't find the building!

There's another class on Wednesday. I've sent an email apologising and if they seem nice about it I'll go to the Wed one.

I noticed I was getting anxious hours before leaving the house so I went for a run and just getting pre-occupied with running and then getting tired from it took away my worries about the class - so that was a good thing.

jellybelly · 11-09-2009, 12:12 PM

I'm sure they'll be fine about it. Hope you have a good time on Wednesday if you go

mind_games · 11-11-2009, 01:52 AM

I did it!

It was good. Something different for a change. Was it fun? Sometimes it was - especially when I found a partner who I was in sync with.. Other times it was meh, but it definitely wasn't bad

.

(In this class, basically everyone is in two concentric circles. The women in the inner circle and the men in the outer circle. And the women switch to the partner on the right so that everyone gets to dance with multiple partners - if they wish.)

It was nice to just hold another human being. And dancing in synchrony was nice to.

Also, there was no pressure to talk because everyone's concentrating on learning to dance. But there was first time salsa dancing related mini convo's and giggles and expressions of ineptitude and apologies for stepping on other people's feet.

I did not step on anyone's feet, for the record

. But I did giggle/smile like a dumbass twice, because of my suckiness.

I had no anxiety at this event - actually the thought never crossed my mind once I was inside the room. Mainly because my SA doesn't come into play in these situations -ie a learning environment where everyone is in the same situation/level + mostly older people + everyone was a stranger to everyone else, I wasn't entering some clique. There was no need to socialize via conversation. The only anxiety was in walking up to teh place and in signing up to the classes - and I had to make several attempts over several days before I managed to do it. It was bad enough to send me to the toilet (my SA leads to IBS). Once I signed up for it, it felt a lot better and the anxiety gradually subsided.

The only negative feelings were feeling like I'm too crap to dance. And I couldn't really dance to the music, because all I could concentrate was on my footwork. I know most people feel it to some extent, but I have these feeling when I do anything performance related. Its to do with my low self esteem.

To end on a high note, there are 6 more weekly classes in this course and I'm kinda looking forward to attending them.

Aaaaand to end on a cheeky note, I kinda walked into the room last so everyone had formed one massive line at the front watching the instructor teach us the basic steps. There was no space to squeeze in so I and a couple other people had to stand behind this line. So I got to watch the cute instructor's footwork by looking through the gap between two cute female butts

. It was a nice viewpoint

.

hopena · 11-11-2009, 02:33 AM

I have a male friend who started Salsa lessons. He said that it was fun, but that it was difficult, because he was expected to both learn and lead.

I hope you continue to have fun. Every year, I think about taking some sort of dance class, but either couldn't get there, or felt uncomfortable at the thought of dancing with strange men (more so when I was younger, than now).

veron · 11-11-2009, 07:33 AM

Nice to hear it went well!

_AJ_ · 11-14-2009, 07:13 AM

hey, i did the salsa thing too! I just went alone to a "no partner required" class and we did the circle thing and took turns switching partners. some of those girls were giving me some flirty looks, oo la la

good work mind games, it is the funnest dance in my opinion

mind_games · 11-14-2009, 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by _AJ_

hey, i did the salsa thing too! I just went alone to a "no partner required" class and we did the circle thing and took turns switching partners. some of those girls were giving me some flirty looks, oo la la

good work mind games, it is the funnest dance in my opinion

Hmm no girls gave me flirty looks

, not that I was looking. I was staring at my feet the whole time. There was this old woman who just starred at my eyes the whole time I dance with her though

Hmm..

slylikeafox · Yesterday, 12:25 AM

Great job Mind Games

11-07-2009, 05:13 AM	#1 (permalink)
mind_games Status: dances, like a fridge Join Date: Nov 2008 Age: 23 Posts: 1,570	Join a salsa dance class I will! , Eventhough the pictures of people dancing on the course website are enough to make me nervous. I might need some liquid courage for this. Wohoo I get a good enough reason to drink again! To make this a double challenge I could ask a certain girl if she wants to go along with me. But, the whole dance course costs $90 and I hate asking other people to come along to stuff that costs money. But BUT the first dance class is free, so I could ask her to come along to the first class to 'ease my nerves'. But but BUT it really won't ease my nerves. In fact it'll do the opposite and freak me the hell out that I have to 'deal' with her AND the dance class. But but but BUT I've wanted to hang out with her for a while, eventhough I'm not really sure if she'd want to. But but but but BUT ... I'll stop now. __________________ "this is not me, this is me reacting to your perception of me"

11-07-2009, 05:59 AM	#4 (permalink)
mind_games Status: dances, like a fridge Join Date: Nov 2008 Age: 23 Posts: 1,570	I'ts supposed to be a beginner's course, apparently, so even I should be able to handle it, finger's crossed. I joined! Well, sort of. I fill out some form, but forgot to let them know I'll be paying in person - its bugging me now (as opposed to online payment). But I guess thats obvious? Bah. Why can't I get things like this right. __________________ "this is not me, this is me reacting to your perception of me"

11-08-2009, 11:51 PM	#11 (permalink)
mind_games Status: dances, like a fridge Join Date: Nov 2008 Age: 23 Posts: 1,570	I err didn't quite make it. I got there 10mins late and then couldn't find the building! There's another class on Wednesday. I've sent an email apologising and if they seem nice about it I'll go to the Wed one. I noticed I was getting anxious hours before leaving the house so I went for a run and just getting pre-occupied with running and then getting tired from it took away my worries about the class - so that was a good thing. __________________ "this is not me, this is me reacting to your perception of me"

11-11-2009, 01:52 AM	#13 (permalink)
mind_games Status: dances, like a fridge Join Date: Nov 2008 Age: 23 Posts: 1,570	I did it! It was good. Something different for a change. Was it fun? Sometimes it was - especially when I found a partner who I was in sync with.. Other times it was meh, but it definitely wasn't bad . (In this class, basically everyone is in two concentric circles. The women in the inner circle and the men in the outer circle. And the women switch to the partner on the right so that everyone gets to dance with multiple partners - if they wish.) It was nice to just hold another human being. And dancing in synchrony was nice to. Also, there was no pressure to talk because everyone's concentrating on learning to dance. But there was first time salsa dancing related mini convo's and giggles and expressions of ineptitude and apologies for stepping on other people's feet. I did not step on anyone's feet, for the record . But I did giggle/smile like a dumbass twice, because of my suckiness. I had no anxiety at this event - actually the thought never crossed my mind once I was inside the room. Mainly because my SA doesn't come into play in these situations -ie a learning environment where everyone is in the same situation/level + mostly older people + everyone was a stranger to everyone else, I wasn't entering some clique. There was no need to socialize via conversation. The only anxiety was in walking up to teh place and in signing up to the classes - and I had to make several attempts over several days before I managed to do it. It was bad enough to send me to the toilet (my SA leads to IBS). Once I signed up for it, it felt a lot better and the anxiety gradually subsided. The only negative feelings were feeling like I'm too crap to dance. And I couldn't really dance to the music, because all I could concentrate was on my footwork. I know most people feel it to some extent, but I have these feeling when I do anything performance related. Its to do with my low self esteem. To end on a high note, there are 6 more weekly classes in this course and I'm kinda looking forward to attending them. Aaaaand to end on a cheeky note, I kinda walked into the room last so everyone had formed one massive line at the front watching the instructor teach us the basic steps. There was no space to squeeze in so I and a couple other people had to stand behind this line. So I got to watch the cute instructor's footwork by looking through the gap between two cute female butts . It was a nice viewpoint . __________________ "this is not me, this is me reacting to your perception of me"

11-14-2009, 07:13 AM	#16 (permalink)
_AJ_ Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada Posts: 734	hey, i did the salsa thing too! I just went alone to a "no partner required" class and we did the circle thing and took turns switching partners. some of those girls were giving me some flirty looks, oo la la good work mind games, it is the funnest dance in my opinion __________________ Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the decision to act in spite of it.

11-07-2009, 05:47 AM	#2 (permalink)
Dempsey Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Sydney Australia Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 636	Mmm I have a friend from Ecuador that keeps going on about Salsa. Apparently there's a lot to it.

11-07-2009, 05:51 AM	#3 (permalink)
drealm Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: California Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 293	I heard women like guys who know how to dance. So knock yourself out man! Just have fun, in no time you'll be familiar with the place and people.

11-07-2009, 06:42 AM	#5 (permalink)
veron Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Belgrade Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 490	Hey, that sounds fun I was actually thinking of doing the same thing a few months ago, but changed my mind, hehe. Dancing can be so fun! Yaaay

11-07-2009, 01:13 PM	#6 (permalink)
jellybelly Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: uk Gender: Female Posts: 270	I did a a 6 week beginners salsa class a few years ago and it was a lot of fun. Hope you have a great time

11-08-2009, 12:30 AM	#9 (permalink)
saillias Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Calgary, AB Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 293	I was thinking about doing the exact same thing. It's too bad she flaked out but people do that more often than they say yes. Just wondering, dealing with this sort of situation, how do you suppose you will handle it? I mean, approaching women, asking to dance, being a beginner, etc.

11-09-2009, 12:12 PM	#12 (permalink)
jellybelly Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: uk Gender: Female Posts: 270	I'm sure they'll be fine about it. Hope you have a good time on Wednesday if you go

11-11-2009, 02:33 AM	#14 (permalink)
hopena Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Ohio Gender: Female Posts: 199	I have a male friend who started Salsa lessons. He said that it was fun, but that it was difficult, because he was expected to both learn and lead. I hope you continue to have fun. Every year, I think about taking some sort of dance class, but either couldn't get there, or felt uncomfortable at the thought of dancing with strange men (more so when I was younger, than now).

11-11-2009, 07:33 AM	#15 (permalink)
veron Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Belgrade Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 490	Nice to hear it went well!

Yesterday, 12:25 AM	#18 (permalink)
slylikeafox Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Michigan Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 1,685	Great job Mind Games __________________ "Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself" - Joel Hawes