Social Anxiety Support

saillias · 09-18-2009, 08:00 PM

Time to UPDAET!

I went to a comedy club with my sister last night. They put us at the front and she warned me that the comics make fun of the people at the front but we were left alone and they were all hilarious.

I had my player's meeting for my ball hockey team today... My team is cool, this is going to be awesome. Also I did something that believe it or not I haven't done in 2 years: I raised my hand and asked a question.

I'm still contemplating sending one of the dance clubs an e-mail and joining up, but I think I'm going to be a little strapped for free time in between floor hockey, counseling, school work and my job.

saillias · 09-21-2009, 03:21 PM

I raised my hand again in a class today. Tomorrow I have my first presentation, which is supposed to take 10-15 minutes. I think, after doing this I will be effectively cured of my classroom presentation SA.

saillias · 09-23-2009, 10:11 PM

My goal threads always seem to be only me posting after the second page, but whatever.

I have a huge update. I've raised my hand in class a couple times, said a few things to people beside me in class, and overall just feel a bit better being social at a very basic level.

I had my presentation yesterday in my long class and I did a good job, I didn't die and I won't be dwelling on it as some horrible experience like my past presentations. My prof even sent me an e-mail praising me and saying "for someone who said he has anxiety you made a good presentation" etc. It's very surprising to receive an informal, congratulatory e-mail from a professor. It's hard not to feel a little good after that.

I had my first floor hockey game today, which made me realize I am in serious need of cardio. We lost. Still it was fun.

I have my second counselling appointment tomorrow morning. There's a LONG waiting time in between appointments, not surprising in a school of 20,000 kids but still kinda lame.

mountain5 · 09-23-2009, 11:55 PM

Sounds like you're doing really well. I should have done this when I was still in college...

saillias · 09-28-2009, 02:05 PM

It's probably time to update again.

On Thursday, I had my counseling appointment like I said. My counselor was really impressed with everything I did in the 2 weeks in between appointments. She said she thinks I am really interesting and she believes I will overcome social anxiety. I don't really feel as though I've done all that much, but her encouragement is helping me change my mindset. And I got 2 new exercises to do everyday to help reduce my anxiety.

I didn't do anything else in between Thursday and now directly relating to overcoming social anxiety, I don't count things I always do like going to work, or going to watch hockey games.

However, the prof in the class where I did the presentation sent out a class e-mail saying to consider my presentation as a sort of model, and that everyone should do their presentations like I did. Wow, I'm really glad I chose to present early.

The most exciting part of this update: Today I received an e-mail saying I was approved for the study abroad group in France. I'm going to be there for New Year's and my birthday. It's going to be amazing.

layitontheline · 10-01-2009, 07:15 PM

That's awesome you were approved for the study abroad group. You're going to France! I'm sure it's going to be a birthday you never forget.

saillias · 10-02-2009, 07:23 PM

Hell yeah. The more I learn about it the better it gets, too.

I went to the information session they held about it yesterday, and basically it's one big vacation slash sight-seeing tour. Half the grade component isn't even done while over there; we write a quiz before leaving and write an assignment after coming back. The only course components actually graded while in France are 2 oral presentations, and a participation grade. Presentations and participation aren't a problem for me anymore.

As for the trip itself, we get a free day on New Year's, we spend a day at the Louvre, with 3 hours to wander around on our own (any nerd's dream who read the Da Vinci Code), and a full day at Paris of sight-seeing. Not to mention a few travel days where we go from Paris to Arles and back and will have nothing to do but check into our hotel rooms and then go find a bar or something.

I'm going to buy a new camera and a huge memory card just for this.

layitontheline · 10-03-2009, 10:54 PM

I can't believe how comfortable you seem with presenting now. Doing that one presentation helped you get over the fear?

Have you seen/met the people you're going to be going with? Well I guess you've seen them if you're going to all these meetings. Do they seem nice enough?

Hm... What kind of dance did you want to do?

saillias · 10-05-2009, 05:40 PM

Monday update:

Today I went to a prof's office hours to try and get her to change my grade on an assignment I thought was marked too harshly. I was having an argument with myself about going at all, saying "Just forget about it, you didn't fail, it's only worth 10%." or "Just do it on Wednesday." I refused to let myself chicken out and went there. I got an extra .5 out of 10 for my efforts LOLLLL. I'm so glad I did it though.

This is going to sound lame but I also turned to someone sitting next to me in class and said something. I never do that.

saillias · 10-09-2009, 05:49 PM

Friday update:

-I had my second ball hockey game Wednesday, and was less out of shape this time and the team is getting better too.

-Met with my counselor Thursday and got more activities to do. I now have to leave my comfort zone twice a day at school, which means talking to someone, or raising my hand. Gulp. (I completely forgot today) Plus some other things.

-In the board right above this one there is finally a meetup being organized in my city.

saillias · 10-18-2009, 09:15 PM

It's OOOOOOFFICIAL SAILLIAS UPDATE TIME

-The Roman Provence trip was canceled. ****! It's extremely disappointing but not the end of the world. I'm looking at going on a month long trip to China in May instead. It's about twice as expensive and in a subject I'm not nearly as interested in, so I'm on the fence about it. However there's nothing else interesting available, so it's this, or no study abroad at all... Unless I went on an individual student exchange, which means going alone for a full semester, taking classes and living on my own. That's pretty scary. I don't know if I'm ready for that.

-I had my last shift at work. I did well on my end of season employee evaluation. One of the things my boss said was "I can tell you're naturally introverted, but I have no problem at all with how you deal with the public." I honestly expected to be chided for my shyness and quiet demeanor. That was good to hear. Too bad it's only a summer job. I now have one less social activity per week and I have to find something to replace it.

To be honest, nothing good has really happened :(. I haven't had the opportunity to do the whole leave my comfort zone twice a day thing because I've really only had 2 full days of class since last Thursday due to class cancellations, midterms, and holidays. I'm writing this mainly to give myself perspective and a kick in the *** to charge into next week.

millenniumman75 · 10-18-2009, 09:35 PM

Meh, you don't have to be perfect every day. As long as you try your best, that is good enough

.

jellybelly · 10-19-2009, 02:37 PM

Sorry the trip got cancelled but I hope you find a suitable alternative. And well done on all this leaving of your comfort zone! You're doing really well. Keep it up

saillias · 11-01-2009, 05:19 PM

Thanks to the both of you for the support. I appreciate that you actually read this stuff, and for breaking my 3-post chain.

It's been 2 weeks since my last update. I've been sick for almost the whole 2 weeks. As a result I've missed a ton of class and overall spent a lot of time being in my room and not around people. Here's what I HAVE done:

-Went to hockey game with my sister last week Saturday. Had lots of fun and talked a lot, I'm getting more comfortable talking to her.
-I met with the coordinator of the other program, and I'm doing it. I am studying abroad for a full month in May. I registered and everything, deposit is paid, and there's no way this one gets canceled, knock on wood.
-I tried again to go to a social anxiety meetup 2 Fridays ago, which fell through. I tried to organize another one for last Friday but that didn't work either. I think that it's going to happen this week though.
-2 Tuesdays ago, I had to speak up in class again and comment on a group member's presentation. Then I talked a bit with my group members.

My goals for this week:
-Go to hockey. I've missed the past 2 games and I feel like a lousy teammate atm.
-Resume going to the gym, something I haven't talked about here, but I was doing it regularly before getting sick killed my fitness level.
-Go to the doctor and hopefully diagnose this brutal cough.
-Go to every single class. Last week, I went to 4 classes the whole week.

Extra: I take this time to congratulate myself for my work this semester, not just in social issues but in all aspects of my life. I'm keeping on top of my studying, assignments, etc. and enjoying what I'm learning. I held a job and actually didn't quit due to laziness, I lasted it out until it was over. I'm eating healthier than I used to and working on my fitness as well. I dress better than I used to. I procrastinate less on things and am more organized in general. I feel less stress and anxiety on a day to day basis. It's amazing how much more I can accomplish when I just take an extra couple hours a day that were being wasted on nothing activities.

huh · 11-01-2009, 06:27 PM

Sounds like you're doing good at managing a pretty busy schedule. Good job on challenging yourself to get out of your comfort zone

I think I'll stay in mine for a bit...it's just too comfortable and I don't wanna leave ;O heh

Alys · 11-01-2009, 06:52 PM

saillias, you are an inspiration. :-)

ZAFFAR · 11-06-2009, 10:50 AM

saillias

Keep going man. you are doing really well.

jellybelly · 11-06-2009, 01:41 PM

Well done on all your work. That's really great that you're definately doing the study abroad!

10-18-2009, 09:35 PM	#32 (permalink)
millenniumman75 Status: Super Moderator Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Dayton-Cincinnati, OH Gender: Male Age: 34 Posts: 38,628	Meh, you don't have to be perfect every day. As long as you try your best, that is good enough . __________________ millenniumman75 You are a success story waiting to happen! Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover.... Live and HELP live is better!

11-01-2009, 06:27 PM	#35 (permalink)
huh Status: Statistical Anomaly Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: WI Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 1,037	Sounds like you're doing good at managing a pretty busy schedule. Good job on challenging yourself to get out of your comfort zone I think I'll stay in mine for a bit...it's just too comfortable and I don't wanna leave ;O heh __________________ "It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."

09-18-2009, 08:00 PM	#21 (permalink)
saillias Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Calgary, AB Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 293	Time to UPDAET! I went to a comedy club with my sister last night. They put us at the front and she warned me that the comics make fun of the people at the front but we were left alone and they were all hilarious. I had my player's meeting for my ball hockey team today... My team is cool, this is going to be awesome. Also I did something that believe it or not I haven't done in 2 years: I raised my hand and asked a question. I'm still contemplating sending one of the dance clubs an e-mail and joining up, but I think I'm going to be a little strapped for free time in between floor hockey, counseling, school work and my job.

09-21-2009, 03:21 PM	#22 (permalink)
saillias Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Calgary, AB Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 293	I raised my hand again in a class today. Tomorrow I have my first presentation, which is supposed to take 10-15 minutes. I think, after doing this I will be effectively cured of my classroom presentation SA.

09-23-2009, 10:11 PM	#23 (permalink)
saillias Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Calgary, AB Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 293	My goal threads always seem to be only me posting after the second page, but whatever. I have a huge update. I've raised my hand in class a couple times, said a few things to people beside me in class, and overall just feel a bit better being social at a very basic level. I had my presentation yesterday in my long class and I did a good job, I didn't die and I won't be dwelling on it as some horrible experience like my past presentations. My prof even sent me an e-mail praising me and saying "for someone who said he has anxiety you made a good presentation" etc. It's very surprising to receive an informal, congratulatory e-mail from a professor. It's hard not to feel a little good after that. I had my first floor hockey game today, which made me realize I am in serious need of cardio. We lost. Still it was fun. I have my second counselling appointment tomorrow morning. There's a LONG waiting time in between appointments, not surprising in a school of 20,000 kids but still kinda lame.

09-23-2009, 11:55 PM	#24 (permalink)
mountain5 Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Minnesota Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 655	Sounds like you're doing really well. I should have done this when I was still in college...

09-28-2009, 02:05 PM	#25 (permalink)
saillias Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Calgary, AB Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 293	It's probably time to update again. On Thursday, I had my counseling appointment like I said. My counselor was really impressed with everything I did in the 2 weeks in between appointments. She said she thinks I am really interesting and she believes I will overcome social anxiety. I don't really feel as though I've done all that much, but her encouragement is helping me change my mindset. And I got 2 new exercises to do everyday to help reduce my anxiety. I didn't do anything else in between Thursday and now directly relating to overcoming social anxiety, I don't count things I always do like going to work, or going to watch hockey games. However, the prof in the class where I did the presentation sent out a class e-mail saying to consider my presentation as a sort of model, and that everyone should do their presentations like I did. Wow, I'm really glad I chose to present early. The most exciting part of this update: Today I received an e-mail saying I was approved for the study abroad group in France. I'm going to be there for New Year's and my birthday. It's going to be amazing.

10-01-2009, 07:15 PM	#26 (permalink)
layitontheline Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 320	That's awesome you were approved for the study abroad group. You're going to France! I'm sure it's going to be a birthday you never forget.

10-02-2009, 07:23 PM	#27 (permalink)
saillias Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Calgary, AB Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 293	Hell yeah. The more I learn about it the better it gets, too. I went to the information session they held about it yesterday, and basically it's one big vacation slash sight-seeing tour. Half the grade component isn't even done while over there; we write a quiz before leaving and write an assignment after coming back. The only course components actually graded while in France are 2 oral presentations, and a participation grade. Presentations and participation aren't a problem for me anymore. As for the trip itself, we get a free day on New Year's, we spend a day at the Louvre, with 3 hours to wander around on our own (any nerd's dream who read the Da Vinci Code), and a full day at Paris of sight-seeing. Not to mention a few travel days where we go from Paris to Arles and back and will have nothing to do but check into our hotel rooms and then go find a bar or something. I'm going to buy a new camera and a huge memory card just for this.

10-03-2009, 10:54 PM	#28 (permalink)
layitontheline Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 320	I can't believe how comfortable you seem with presenting now. Doing that one presentation helped you get over the fear? Have you seen/met the people you're going to be going with? Well I guess you've seen them if you're going to all these meetings. Do they seem nice enough? Hm... What kind of dance did you want to do?

10-05-2009, 05:40 PM	#29 (permalink)
saillias Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Calgary, AB Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 293	Monday update: Today I went to a prof's office hours to try and get her to change my grade on an assignment I thought was marked too harshly. I was having an argument with myself about going at all, saying "Just forget about it, you didn't fail, it's only worth 10%." or "Just do it on Wednesday." I refused to let myself chicken out and went there. I got an extra .5 out of 10 for my efforts LOLLLL. I'm so glad I did it though. This is going to sound lame but I also turned to someone sitting next to me in class and said something. I never do that.

10-09-2009, 05:49 PM	#30 (permalink)
saillias Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Calgary, AB Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 293	Friday update: -I had my second ball hockey game Wednesday, and was less out of shape this time and the team is getting better too. -Met with my counselor Thursday and got more activities to do. I now have to leave my comfort zone twice a day at school, which means talking to someone, or raising my hand. Gulp. (I completely forgot today) Plus some other things. -In the board right above this one there is finally a meetup being organized in my city.

10-18-2009, 09:15 PM	#31 (permalink)
saillias Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Calgary, AB Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 293	It's OOOOOOFFICIAL SAILLIAS UPDATE TIME -The Roman Provence trip was canceled. **! It's extremely disappointing but not the end of the world. I'm looking at going on a month long trip to China in May instead. It's about twice as expensive and in a subject I'm not nearly as interested in, so I'm on the fence about it. However there's nothing else interesting available, so it's this, or no study abroad at all... Unless I went on an individual student exchange, which means going alone for a full semester, taking classes and living on my own. That's pretty scary. I don't know if I'm ready for that. -I had my last shift at work. I did well on my end of season employee evaluation. One of the things my boss said was "I can tell you're naturally introverted, but I have no problem at all with how you deal with the public." I honestly expected to be chided for my shyness and quiet demeanor. That was good to hear. Too bad it's only a summer job. I now have one less social activity per week and I have to find something to replace it. To be honest, nothing good has really happened :(. I haven't had the opportunity to do the whole leave my comfort zone twice a day thing because I've really only had 2 full days of class since last Thursday due to class cancellations, midterms, and holidays. I'm writing this mainly to give myself perspective and a kick in the * to charge into next week.

10-19-2009, 02:37 PM	#33 (permalink)
jellybelly Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: uk Gender: Female Posts: 270	Sorry the trip got cancelled but I hope you find a suitable alternative. And well done on all this leaving of your comfort zone! You're doing really well. Keep it up

11-01-2009, 05:19 PM	#34 (permalink)
saillias Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Calgary, AB Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 293	Thanks to the both of you for the support. I appreciate that you actually read this stuff, and for breaking my 3-post chain. It's been 2 weeks since my last update. I've been sick for almost the whole 2 weeks. As a result I've missed a ton of class and overall spent a lot of time being in my room and not around people. Here's what I HAVE done: -Went to hockey game with my sister last week Saturday. Had lots of fun and talked a lot, I'm getting more comfortable talking to her. -I met with the coordinator of the other program, and I'm doing it. I am studying abroad for a full month in May. I registered and everything, deposit is paid, and there's no way this one gets canceled, knock on wood. -I tried again to go to a social anxiety meetup 2 Fridays ago, which fell through. I tried to organize another one for last Friday but that didn't work either. I think that it's going to happen this week though. -2 Tuesdays ago, I had to speak up in class again and comment on a group member's presentation. Then I talked a bit with my group members. My goals for this week: -Go to hockey. I've missed the past 2 games and I feel like a lousy teammate atm. -Resume going to the gym, something I haven't talked about here, but I was doing it regularly before getting sick killed my fitness level. -Go to the doctor and hopefully diagnose this brutal cough. -Go to every single class. Last week, I went to 4 classes the whole week. Extra: I take this time to congratulate myself for my work this semester, not just in social issues but in all aspects of my life. I'm keeping on top of my studying, assignments, etc. and enjoying what I'm learning. I held a job and actually didn't quit due to laziness, I lasted it out until it was over. I'm eating healthier than I used to and working on my fitness as well. I dress better than I used to. I procrastinate less on things and am more organized in general. I feel less stress and anxiety on a day to day basis. It's amazing how much more I can accomplish when I just take an extra couple hours a day that were being wasted on nothing activities.

11-01-2009, 06:52 PM	#36 (permalink)
Alys Status: mind bogglingly imperfect Join Date: Oct 2009 Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 84	saillias, you are an inspiration. :-)

11-06-2009, 10:50 AM	#37 (permalink)
ZAFFAR Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Does it matter!!! Gender: Male Posts: 23	saillias Keep going man. you are doing really well.

11-06-2009, 01:41 PM	#38 (permalink)
jellybelly Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: uk Gender: Female Posts: 270	Well done on all your work. That's really great that you're definately doing the study abroad!