http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/ Life suck? Vent here en Fri, 20 Nov 2009 23:05:17 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/images/styles/SAS/misc/rss.jpg http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/not-caring-76908/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:13:41 GMT Most of the time I don't seem to care about anything I think it's depression. I try to imagine the worst case scenario's being homeless or having no money and it really doesnt seem to make much difference to me. I have no desire to interact with most people unless they make the first effort. I am really unsure about my niche in life right now. I just don't seem to care I even have lost interest in most activities I usually find enjoyable. I don't however fight certain issues such as sleeping I can't ever seem to get rest. Even though I take meds for that. ]]> Frustration ChadsWick1234 http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/not-caring-76908/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/sour-grapes-anyone-76906/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:33:31 GMT Of all the things I don't like about myself, my inability to be genuinely happy for others disturbs me the most. I can fake being happy for them, but inside I'm wishing the worst on them and coming up with reasons why their good news or success is empty.

For example:
Friend: "I met a girl at the party I went to and hooked up with her."
Me: "That's awesome! Way to lay the ol' pipe!" *high five*
Me: (She was probably some drunk skank he took advantage of.)

My Brother: "I'm gonna buy a foreclosure house that I got a great deal on!"
Me: "Seet! Congrats, bro! I'm really happy for you!"
Me: (It's probably in a bad area and he won't be able to afford homeownership on his salary...)

I'm a bad person, aren't I? :afr ]]> Frustration Laconic1 http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/sour-grapes-anyone-76906/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/my-bike-broke-into-pieces-76903/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:29:21 GMT my bike broke into pieces today.. my bro had accident with it. I feel so pathetic and depressed. My anxiety has gone beyond control.. I am scared to... my bike broke into pieces today.. my bro had accident with it. I feel so pathetic and depressed. My anxiety has gone beyond control.. I am scared to get out of my room too.

its pathetic.

:cry:cry:cry:cry:cry:cry:cry:cry:cry ]]> Frustration deadwarrior666 http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/my-bike-broke-into-pieces-76903/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/i-hate-fridays-and-holidays-76900/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:35:54 GMT fridays and holidays are soo depressing when you go to school and hear everyone going out with their friends.. knowing you would just going inside,... fridays and holidays are soo depressing when you go to school and hear everyone going out with their friends.. knowing you would just going inside, play the game and watch tv :bash ]]> Frustration successful http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/i-hate-fridays-and-holidays-76900/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/completely-alone-76887/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:16:37 GMT i have nobody i can talk to :/ i have nobody i can talk to :/ ]]> Frustration Pialicious88 http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/completely-alone-76887/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/impossible-to-explain-76885/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:45:46 GMT So the other day I went to a counselling session. I don't think the place I went to really focuses much on mental health though.. they're more of an overall health place. At least that's what I gathered off their website. :blank But I had to go there because my job network suggested it because my anxiety is 'getting in the way' of me finding a job. I was only obligated to go to one session but I'll be going again in 2 weeks time. I can't say I was very happy about how it went though. For some reason I'd started to think maybe this woman would be someone who would finally understand. Instead she asked me why I got anxious (I called it 'anxiety' rather than SA). I found it incredibly hard to tell her why. She asked why I wouldn't be able to work at a supermarket or in a shop. I said because of the people and she kept looking at me like she didn't understand what about people could be so scary. I mean, she was a nice lady and all but I really think she had no idea.

Anyway, I said I worried what people might be thinking of me, for one thing. Then I don't know, she just basically said 'who cares [what they think]?' I hate when people have that attitude because it's sort of like... I care, obviously. It's not like I can help it. I can't just flip a switch and oh! My anxiety is gone, hurray!

I said some other things about my 'situation' and I could tell she thought I was just paranoid about people or something. Then she tried telling me my thoughts were irrational, and I told her I know that. And doesn't that just prove she has little to no SA knowledge? I mean, most people with SA know their thinking is irrational, right? She seemed to have the attitude that I just need to train my brain to think positively and I'll be magically cured. I know positivity is important but I need something more to help me.

She kept asking what I think is wrong with myself because, according to her, we get anxious over how we feel about ourselves.. I'm not too sure about that one. I mean, she made it sound like that's always the case when there are certainly other things one can be anxious about.

I felt embarrassed talking about getting anxious, tbh. It's just so hard to explain to someone who is 'normal'. Someone who can walk down the street and not have to worry about what everyone else in sight is doing. And I hate how she kept asking me what would be going through my mind when I was anxious. Cause half the time it's nothing. I don't actually have thoughts like 'oh no, I am scared because this will happen.' I just feel scared.

I felt really discouraged afterwards. I just wish SA was a widely known subject. =/ ]]> Frustration secretlyshecries http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/impossible-to-explain-76885/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/meeting-sa-people-76874/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 09:26:20 GMT It is really sad and frustrates me and I get angry with myself when I make a new connection and chat online and begin to really enjoy someones... It is really sad and frustrates me and I get angry with myself when I make a new connection and chat online and begin to really enjoy someones ccompany and even the promise of a new found friendship and wonder what it would be like ever meet the peson in the future and all the negative thoughts that envelop me and seem to try to choke any hope in that area. I am consumed with "What if they really dont like me" or "What if I cannot live up their expectations." I was supposed go to a meet up in Chicago last spring and ended up not going out of fear of everything. ]]> Frustration irishK http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/meeting-sa-people-76874/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/should-i-disclose-i-suffer-from-sad-to-my-boss-76872/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 09:16:08 GMT I'm feeling anxious at work, been at Walmart produce for over a year and i still feel anxious at times.My boss and co workers dont know i suffer from this and i worry they just think im stupid or not very intelligent as when someone gives me directions i often find it hard to concentrate and sometimes dont do it right.Thoughts? ]]> Frustration rko74 http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/should-i-disclose-i-suffer-from-sad-to-my-boss-76872/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/i-cant-connect-with-people-76871/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 08:29:17 GMT As a child I went thru a lot which I have made a note of in my blogs/previous threads and had such a chaotic living environment for so long that I... As a child I went thru a lot which I have made a note of in my blogs/previous threads and had such a chaotic living environment for so long that I believe has really messed up my emotional/social response to other people. I feel so disconnected to everyone. I have had this apathetic feeling for a very long time now and I feel kinda bad for it. I don't feel emotions like I should or think in a set manner. Sometimes I'll get flashbacks of things that happened when I was a kid and then I feel all emotions flood at once, but mostly I'm just so numb and when I do feel like trying and being positive, "normal" people seem to sense that I'm "damaged" and leave me or get annoyed(or so that's how I see it). Makes me not even want to try anymore. It's almost like I don't feel human even...kinda like I'm not real. How do you push yourself to keep trying when it seems no one will give you a chance? I hate that it takes so much for me to do little things and I feel so proud of myself at first and then "normal" people don't see it as much of an accomplishment and I just fall back to square one. Makes me wonder what the point is. Sorry for the rant, I'm just extremely alone/lonely and it's in almost every possible way especially with the type of family I have and I'm a bit depressed right now so I need to let some out and I honestly have no idea what to do anymore. I really can't understand what's so horrible about me and why people wouldn't want to reach out to the hurt rather than adding onto their pain. I seriously believe my "issues" are beyond just SA. You guys ever try, like I mean give it your best shot to do something you fear due to your SA and still get shot down? If so, name an example please. ]]> Frustration illlaymedown http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/i-cant-connect-with-people-76871/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/i-cant-believe-some-people-76857/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 04:33:08 GMT So today I was in the computer lab doing a bunch of work. My books and papers spread all over my station, earphones and USB plugged into the... So today I was in the computer lab doing a bunch of work. My books and papers spread all over my station, earphones and USB plugged into the computer tower, even a small pile of books under my chair. I went outside to have my smoke and eat a quick sandwich (no eating permitted in the computer lab) and came back to my spot 7 minutes later. Some jerk guy had stole my computer-pulled out my earphones/USB and piled up all my stuff and put it on another chair behind him.

I WAS SO FURIOUS. I go over to my stuff, so pissed, and he's like "Oh sorry". I say "Oh that's fine", I grab my things and run out.

BUT it's not fine. I can't believe he would touch my things and log off my computer like that!!!! What makes me even more angry is that I didn't stand up for myself. I should have told him to go ** himself and get off my computer. I was so angry I just went home. I had so much work to do, and my day was so thrown off over this stupid kid. ]]> Frustration Havalina http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/i-cant-believe-some-people-76857/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/why-are-people-so-rude-76853/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 03:28:32 GMT It seems like every time I try to be friendly or talk to someone, they either have to run from me or just snap at me. I asked a girl a simple... It seems like every time I try to be friendly or talk to someone, they either have to run from me or just snap at me. I asked a girl a simple question today and she answered back with a 'Well, what do you think' kind of answer. These people talk and have conversations with others perfectly fine but they act like Im abnormal.At least Im trying to talk. I don't understand humans! ]]> Frustration MeMe89 http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/why-are-people-so-rude-76853/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/anxiety-over-nothing-76850/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:10:44 GMT So for the most part things have been going really well recently. I'm talking to people everyday, doing well in school, and going to social events multiple times a week. Instead on feeling good about myself i'm sitting here having anxious thoughts all damn week. Usually when I do well socially I feel normal and my SA seems to go away, but not this week. I honestly have no idea why I can't just relax and enjoy my success. Should I see a therapist or maybe get some meds? I can't make sense of this :no ]]> Frustration inVis420 http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/anxiety-over-nothing-76850/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/i-just-dont-have-what-it-takes-76842/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 00:02:57 GMT I don't have what it takes to compete in society. Yes, that's what it is: a competition. Whether we like to admit it or not, human community is a game of ranking, hierarchy and evaluation. People are rated based on their status, their income and their appearance. A lot of people have all three going for them. A lot of people, like me, have none of those things in their favour. I'm just not sure I am equipped to emotionally and psychologically accept the fact that I will always be a loser.

Honestly, I would give absolutely anything to be average, normal, ordinary. Not special, not great, not good even, but merely competent. I'd like to be competent at anything that could at least earn me an independent living. Unfortunately, I have nothing to offer any employer. It is bad enough being as dense as concrete, but then I have the nerves and anxiety to exacerbate my inadequacy. Yes, it is sad that money is pretty much the only thing I care about, but at 23, I have put off financial security for too long. It has been drilled into my head since I was a child that money is what determines one's value, and yet I'm not even capable of providing the bare necessities of life for myself (well I could for a year or two, until I drain all my savings). You would think I would be better prepared for adulthood in that case, but you'd be wrong. Most people with SA can at least support themselves. The most devastating fact of the matter is I will have started off with more than most people (coming from an upper middle class home), and end up with significantly less.

People say, "Oh there's so much more to life than money". Well, maybe that's true for people with social lives, romantic lives, and hobbies at which they excel. I don't have any of that, and the bitter truth of it is that I never will. I was once in a relationship from the ages of 16 and half to 18, but my insecurity, anxiety and puritanical ways burned out that one glimmer of hope for a normal existence. Like all the other chances I've had in life (relationship, going to university--twice, low level but bearable jobs), I blew it. People are done giving me chances, and I can't blame them. In fact, I am not sure if I could muster up the effort to try. I never put maximum effort into anything for the reason that if I work as hard as I can and still fail, I just would not be able to deal with it. I've learned that failure is much easier to handle when I can convince myself that I've only done the minimum. Of course, deep down I know, had I devoted the entirety of my mental and physical resources to doing x, I would still be a failure.

Maybe if I had been born 100 years ago I could have scraped by in life splitting rocks or tossing hay. Unfortunately, while technology and specialization have improved our quality of life dramatically, it has left certain people, like me, who simply aren't good enough to specialize, rendered worthless. I guess I am just one of the many victims of evolution. It's interesting that you don't hear about problems like anxiety and depression in third world countries. The reason, of course, is that those people either adapted or starved to death quickly. If I had been born there, I'd be dead by now. And if I'm not good enough there, I'm certainly not good enough here. Those of you who have endured this diatribe might be thinking, "Why don't you just go ahead and do the unmentionable?" The short answer is I am a coward. Cowardice seems to be the sole survival trait with which I was endowed. Sadly, no one will pay me to be a coward. ]]> Frustration Man Is An Island http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/i-just-dont-have-what-it-takes-76842/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/i-wish-i-was-more-like-my-cousins-76834/ Thu, 19 Nov 2009 23:28:09 GMT My parents never tell me this, but I can tell they would rather have my cousins as their children. They're very social and happy; I'm more of a loner. I have friends, but I really only see them in school. My cousins are very athletic and involved in various activities where I perfer to stay home by myself. They're grades are much higher than me. They have an over 90 average in highschool in the university level. I'm pathetically trying to maintain an average over 80 in grade 12 college level. My uncle rambels about how his younger daughter is going to be a dentist and how his older daughter is going to be a doctor. My future career plan is a dental hygenist. I don't really see my cousins much anymore, I feel pathetic when I'm around them and I know my parents feel like telling me they want me to be more like them. It's disgusting how everything comes so easy to them and I don't have anything to value like they do. My cousins love me, but I never make plans to see them anymore. I know it might hurt them in some way,but part of me doesen't care how they feel anymore. ]]> Frustration Shadowsgirl http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/i-wish-i-was-more-like-my-cousins-76834/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/anger-76832/ Thu, 19 Nov 2009 23:02:06 GMT Does anybody here have alot of anger? Sometimes people seem to want to push my buttons. Does anybody here have alot of anger? Sometimes people seem to want to push my buttons. ]]> Frustration ChadsWick1234 http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/anger-76832/