http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/ For the discussion of Disorders secondary to Social Anxiety. Possible triggers. en Fri, 20 Nov 2009 23:16:12 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/images/styles/SAS/misc/rss.jpg http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/ambivalent-love-addict-emotional-anorexia-76884/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:14:46 GMT I was searching for information on sex addiction and came across this description of ALA/emotional anorexia which in part seems to describe me,... I was searching for information on sex addiction and came across this description of ALA/emotional anorexia which in part seems to describe me, especially the saboteur section. I was glad to see that there's a description of my behavior. The problem now is to figure out how to fix this.

Ambivalent Love Addicts (ALAs suffer) from avoidant personality disorder—or what SLAA calls emotional anorexia. They don’t have a hard time letting go, they have a hard time moving forward. They desperately crave love, but at the same time they are terrified of intimacy. This combination is agonizing. ALAs come in different forms too. They are listed below.

Torch Bearers are ALAs who obsess about someone who is unavailable. This can be done without acting out (suffering in silence) or by pursuing the person they are in love with. Some torch bearers are more addicted than others. This kind of addiction feeds on fantasies and illusions.

Saboteurs are ALAs who destroy relationships when they start to get serious or at whatever point their fear of intimacy comes up. This can be anytime—before the first date, after the first date, after sex, after the subject of commitment comes up—whenever.

Seductive Withholders are ALAs who always come on to you when they want sex or companionship. When they become frightened, or feel unsafe, they begin withholding companionship, sex, affection—anything that makes them feel anxious. If they leave the relationship when they become frightened, they are just Saboteurs. If they keep repeating the pattern of being available/unavailable, they are seductive withholders.

Romance Addicts are ALA who are addicted to multiple partners. Unlike sex addicts, who are trying to avoid bonding altogether, romance addicts bond with each of their partners—to one degree or another— even if the romantic liaisons are short-lived or happening simultaneously. By “romance” I mean sexual passion and pseudo emotional intimacy. Please note that while romance addicts bond with each of their partners to a degree, their goal (besides getting high off of romance and drama) is to avoid commitment or bonding on a deeper level with one partner. Often romance addicts are confused with sex addicts.

A Note about ALAs: Not all avoidants are love addicts. If you accept your fear of intimacy and social situations, and do not get hooked on unavailable people, or just keep your social circle small and unthreatening you are not necessarily an ALA. But if you eat your heart out over some unavailable person year after year, or sabotage one relationship after another, or have serial romantic affairs, or only feel close when you are with another avoidant, you may be an Ambivalent Love Addict. ]]> Secondary Disorders jugador409 http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/ambivalent-love-addict-emotional-anorexia-76884/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/m-hands-shake-at-the-worst-possible-time-76827/ Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:33:49 GMT Ever feel that your worst anxiety symptoms always show up at the time when it is most costly. I draw, my hands never shake when I draw,... Ever feel that your worst anxiety symptoms always show up at the time when it is most costly.

I draw, my hands never shake when I draw, regardless of whether or not there are people watching. I play guitar in a choir. If i have to do some form of public speaking there is no anxiety.

But of course, not everybody can be a rock star or some famous painter.- like as Da Vinci, or Jimmi Hendrix. If I did any of the above for a living, life would be so much less stressful.

But no, some of us have to keep real jobs. I have a real job in a hopsital.

So when do my hands shake ? Just at the point when the senior technician gives me the needle to draw blood from a patient.

So whereas, my co-workers will lament on their own nervousness when doing commercials for the hospital, and other PR work. My nerves only show when I am about to prick somebody. Now which do you think is more critical to my job ?

This is (#&%# frustrating ! I am looking at my hand and telling it to stop shaking and it keeps on.

I know what I am supposed to do, I completely undestand the biology of it., but non of that matters .. all people will see is a nervous phlebotomist.

:mum ]]> Secondary Disorders VIncymon http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/m-hands-shake-at-the-worst-possible-time-76827/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/freakin-manic-and-guess-what-i-did-76806/ Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:23:06 GMT What is bothersome the most is that I don't even feel awkward that I did it. I feel a ok with it. I sent a message to one of my pastors at church telling him I had a crush on him!!!!!!! LOL

and I DON"T regret it!!!!!! :clap ]]> Secondary Disorders MissMay1977 http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/freakin-manic-and-guess-what-i-did-76806/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/borderline-personality-disorder-76799/ Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:30:00 GMT how many of u have been diagnosed with it? how many of u have been diagnosed with it? ]]> Secondary Disorders Pialicious88 http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/borderline-personality-disorder-76799/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/does-your-s-a-s-a-d-cause-you-to-76781/ Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:03:01 GMT - I have no friends, they saw me as 'BORING' because i was quiet, shy always looked miserable and i never went out with them.

- I got kicked out by my abusive dad and my family disowned me completely because i was 'always miserable' and diddnt interact much or go out

- I lash out at my bf because i have panic attacks, i never go out with him, we just stay home, im no fun, im not funny anymore, i dont get dressed properly, im not loving, i just cant be.

Anyone else have anything like this going on?
:(
x

And sorry! I just realised i posted this in the wrong place :/ ]]> Secondary Disorders X JO http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/does-your-s-a-s-a-d-cause-you-to-76781/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/buyers-remorse-76690/ Wed, 18 Nov 2009 04:01:03 GMT Does anyone else here get buyer's remorse for pretty much everything they buy? I dont know if its related to mySA or not, but no matter what i get, i always regret it and its really annoying to feel, especially when im feeling so many other negative feelings. The other day i bought a boxset of books (The Dark Tower 1-4 and TheStand) For $40, brand new. Thats extremely cheap, most people should be happy with that, but now im regretting it so much im thinking of selling it. And its not like im poor or anything, i mean im not rich, but i can spare $40 on books or movies or whatever it may be and it wouldnt effect me much. Hell today my brother bought a PS3, and im feeling a sense of regret/remorse for him, its not even my money. I dont know why i feel this way but its annoying. God with this and SA, i'd be surprisedif i live till 40, i'll probably die of a heart attack way before that. ]]> Secondary Disorders misticknight http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/buyers-remorse-76690/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/internet-addiction-76676/ Wed, 18 Nov 2009 01:08:27 GMT I have this massive problem with spending too much time on the net. This year I got it under a lot more control though. I make these cards where I... I have this massive problem with spending too much time on the net. This year I got it under a lot more control though. I make these cards where I set myself a challenge for 21 or 30 days, and I write on them the rules for when and what I can surf. There were a lot of slip ups at first but now I barley ever break what I have written on the card. However, so far I just keep making new card all the time. A few days ago I finished a card, and I just kept drawing more days onto it as I went. But then I really wanted to go on the net more, because of another problem. I can get very obsessive about a philosophy problem if it causes me a lot of angst, and that day I was worried about the idea that the self is an illusion, so I wanted to go on the net and find some evidence against it to get some peace of mind. Even though in the past this has always ended badly, I decided to ignore the card, since I had already finished it, and go on for a bit longer just for one day. I ended up spending the rest of the day on the net. Then I barley got any sleep because I was scared that I might not exist, and I spent a lot of time the next day on the net, and the next as well. My right hand hurts to type and use the mouse, and my eyes don’t feel good either. Generally I just feel very muddled and sort of out of it and confused. But I feel a bit better today, and I made a new card, so this probably won’t happen again anytime soon. But does anyone have any recommendations for the long term, I mean I can’t keep making these cards for the rest of my life. What other ways could I use to stay away from the net? ]]> Secondary Disorders BTW http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/internet-addiction-76676/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/dysthymia-76668/ Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:03:47 GMT Has anyone here been diagnosed? Or feel like they have it?

I have never heard of dysthymia before, but I just came across it online today. It's strange I've never come across it because it explains me pretty damn well. I almost feel like now I could explain myself to other people, where there was no way to before, like I've never made sense. The only thing is I've always semi known I was depressed, but even to this day I wouldn't want to admit the fact that my mood level and my self esteme is not where it should be. I've always been tired and I've always had the worst concentration my entire life--that part I could easily admit to people without shame, except I try not to because I know I'm annoying if I complain to people. Anyway, so the problem is I would love to go to a doctor and get diagnosed or whatever, just so I could explain myself to the people around me that I care about, but only for that reason. I have no interest in drugs at all or whatever doctors would offer me. Plus I still really don't want to admit that to some doctor stranger either. I still hold regard myself in a pretty secretive manner, and don't really want to share my vulnerability with others. But at the same time I do want to maybe have a justification for myself, and of course I want to improve my self esteme and my ability to concentrate and learn and my energy level. But I can't see myself really putting myself out there. And besides being who I am I find I just as easily give up on it all anyway and go back to my regular routine. I just hate feeling like I'm just lazy or stupid or something, or afraid of people. Because I don't think that's the case deep down. I think it's something more.

Anybody else with similar experience?

I'm also afraid that everyone around me would just tell me I'm making it up, or being a hypochondriac, which I get **** for all the time. But I know my complaints are real, I just don't explain them in a confident manner, so people question me and shoot me down like it's going out of style. Yet another reason I feel I should just keep to myself as much as possible. ]]> Secondary Disorders caithiggs http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/dysthymia-76668/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/anger-and-full-of-rage-76656/ Tue, 17 Nov 2009 22:18:02 GMT I have already threw 100s of ice cubes into an empty bath tub. I am out of control with anger. grrrrrrrrrrr I just took 3mg of Klonopin and it has... I have already threw 100s of ice cubes into an empty bath tub. I am out of control with anger. grrrrrrrrrrr I just took 3mg of Klonopin and it has calmed me a little. :mum:eek::mum ]]> Secondary Disorders MissMay1977 http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/anger-and-full-of-rage-76656/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/strange-mood-after-naps-76618/ Tue, 17 Nov 2009 09:14:57 GMT Everytime I wake up from a nap longer than 20 minutes, I always end up in this strange funk a couple hours later where it feels like I'm still dreaming... Everything is kind of shady and mysterious as if there is some cloak over all my thoughts. It's really uncomfortable, and I know it probably has to do with the chemicals in my brain not being timed correctly.

Before I realized what was happening, I would get depressed too... but once I realized it was because I was napping during the day, I can stop myself from feeling depressed, but I'm still stuck in that zonked state of mind.

Has anyone else experienced this? I've tried some things like meditation, different lighting like flourescent lighting, watching TV, etc... but none of it seems to jog my brain out of this state. Has anyone experienced this and found a solution? ]]> Secondary Disorders steelmyhead http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/strange-mood-after-naps-76618/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/hypertension-76606/ Tue, 17 Nov 2009 06:33:40 GMT AKA high blood pressure. I'm not even completely convinced I have it. I check it with the machines in the stores, but I don't trust them. The other day I was at the doctor's office and the nurse told me my systolic was 150-something. I told her to try it again with a larger cuff and it went down ten points or so.

I don't really get it. I'm 25 years old, 5'6, 165lbs. I'm fairly health-conscious. I lift weights regularly, but maybe I don't do as much cardio as I should. I eat mostly whole grains, no red meat, and I avoid highly-processed foods as much as possible.

The only things I can really possibly pin this on is stress or family history (mom is hypertensive without any other conditions). Can chronic moderate stress and anxiety really contribute to this degree of hypertension? ]]> Secondary Disorders jaayhou http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/hypertension-76606/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/rubbing-fingers-76568/ Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:54:39 GMT This is really embarassing but I have this strange habit of subconsiously rubbing my thumb against my fingers. I often get calluses on my thumb. I do... This is really embarassing but I have this strange habit of subconsiously rubbing my thumb against my fingers. I often get calluses on my thumb. I do it against other parts of my body too i.e. arms, back, neck.

I don't understand why. I just seem to start it randomly and not be able to stop. Is it ocd? or just a weird habit? :blank ]]> Secondary Disorders Procrastinator http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/rubbing-fingers-76568/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/self-harm-possible-triggers-76535/ Mon, 16 Nov 2009 09:56:48 GMT Does anybody have problems with hurting themselves? I have cuts on my thighs from razor blades, I hit my head against doors and walls, I have... Does anybody have problems with hurting themselves?
I have cuts on my thighs from razor blades, I hit my head against doors and walls, I have bruises where i punch myself, nail marks from where i scrach my arms and legs and sometimes face and my fingers are wrecked where i pull the skin off them

Usually when i'm angry or upset, its like a release of all the tension.
I feel i need to punish myself for being so angry/upset all the time because its my fault I am the way I am. If I didn't hurt me, I may end up hurting someone else who doesn't deserve it. Sometimes I don't even feel the pain, I just take comfort in seeing some kind of wound or bruise :S

Is there something really wrong with me or do other people have this problem? I'm open to any help from people but please don't mention doctors etc. as i refuse to go there as i don't want to gain any kind of label for myself. ]]> Secondary Disorders Bekah http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/self-harm-possible-triggers-76535/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/can-i-get-bacterial-meningitius-from-this-76457/ Sun, 15 Nov 2009 06:14:54 GMT Okay, so me I laughing and someone else laughing from across the room. Then I felt some spit on my lip. Was it from me or her? Also later me and... Okay, so me I laughing and someone else laughing from across the room. Then I felt some spit on my lip. Was it from me or her?

Also later me and a girl where hanging out and she was breathing out and I was breathing in(we were both like looking at each other) from a few feet away...

Can I get from either of these 2 things? ]]> Secondary Disorders filledwithfear1 http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/can-i-get-bacterial-meningitius-from-this-76457/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/nail-biting-76388/ Sat, 14 Nov 2009 08:13:21 GMT Okay, "disorder" might be a bit strong. But does anyone else bite their nails? Any tips on stopping?

I've actually messed up one of my thumb nails real nice by peeling it so it looked pretty haggard. Now if my nails just didn't taste so damn good! (well, that's my excuse anyways). ]]> Secondary Disorders Steve123 http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/nail-biting-76388/