http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/ A place for new members to say hi. en Fri, 20 Nov 2009 23:22:38 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/images/styles/SAS/misc/rss.jpg http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hello-there-76883/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:54:09 GMT Well, social anxiety affects every part of my life... I didn't know it was a diagnosable problem until recently though. I just thought I was weird, hah. Even right now I'm wondering if maybe I shouldn't have joined here... What if I don't fit in or I say something stupid and make a fool of myself?

But I'm going to post anyway... Baby steps, right? :) ]]> The First Step Peekaboo91 http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hello-there-76883/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hello-76879/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:23:04 GMT I'm Andy Richter and I am badly afflicted with SA, to the point where I just gave up recently and don't care about anything anymore. Hopefully, I can learn something from you fine people and your fine community. ]]> The First Step Andy Richter http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hello-76879/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hi-i-wish-i-had-something-clever-to-say-here-76877/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:11:01 GMT I'm really excited to see this board. I've had SA for a while but I've recently decided to give up working and apply for disability. As you might suspect my condition now consumes even more of my thoughts.

While here I'd like to set up an in-person group for people in the VA area. I'd also like to meet some SA girls. It would be really nice to meet a girl like me who is comfortable with my limitations. I'm 26 now and I've been a sufferer for about 6 years so maybe I can offer some first-hand advice to those first experiencing symptoms. I have the unique perspective of being a sufferer and having earned a BA in psychology. Trust me there is a lot that will continue to go unnoticed by most of our therapists.

Say hi to me if you get a moment. I'd love to make some new friends! ]]> The First Step IsolatedAndConfused http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hi-i-wish-i-had-something-clever-to-say-here-76877/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hi-everyone-new-member-and-newly-diagnosed-76876/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:01:18 GMT Hi everyone,

I'm Michael from Ireland. I was just diagnosed with SAD yesterday after 20 years on antidepressants with no good results. I am a shy extrovert with panicky feelings all day every day! At the moment I am a bit numb about finding out and a little bit angry as I have spend 20 years thinking that there is something wrong with me and what I now know were coping behaviours have on several occasions ruined relationships and almost my life. It's good to put a name on it but as far as the shrink says it will be a long and hard road to deal with this and the things that have gone on in my past.

I'm just glad that there are others in the same boat.

Thanks

Michael ]]> The First Step Dukeofa http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hi-everyone-new-member-and-newly-diagnosed-76876/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hello-76868/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 07:30:16 GMT Hello all, Firstly, I want to apologize for the length of this post, but I just really want to get everything off my chest from the get-go here. I... Hello all,

Firstly, I want to apologize for the length of this post, but I just really want to get everything off my chest from the get-go here. I just joined and would like to introduce myself. I am a 24 year old woman and I have suffered from social anxiety for as long as I can remember. When I was very little everyone thought I was just 'shy', and I always assumed that was what it was, but long story short, things got worse as I got older and I never 'grew out of it' like people thought I would.

High school was kind of a nightmare for me. I didn't have many friends, and when I was invited to do something, like go to a movie, I would get so nervous and my stomach would hurt and I would just have this huge sense of dread and try to think of excuses not to go. I never went to prom or got involved in many school activities. I always dreaded "group" assignments and projects in class because I never knew anybody in my classes, and I was always the leftover person without a group to join and the teacher would have to assign me to one, which was extremely embarrassing for me. Not to mention sitting alone in the lunchroom. It got to where I would sneak out and wait in the bathroom til lunch period was over. But, I managed to make it through with good grades and finally made it to graduation.

Then, I started college. I was always nervous before going to class, especially if it was a morning class. I guess it had something to do about knowing I had a full day ahead of me and anything could go wrong. Plus my first class in the morning my freshman year was a public speaking class, so needless to say my stomach was in knots every morning. I couldn't keep down breakfast so I quit eating in the morning, which actually made me nauseous until lunchtime rolled around.

Anyway, I got to a point during my freshman year where I started having panic attacks, I would have chest pains and feel like I couldn't breathe, and I would get these flashes of feeling hot and cold. And then something happened that I guess I would describe as a nervous breakdown, for lack of a better term. It started one afternoon when I was at work when out of nowhere, my ears started buzzing and ringing and I felt this weird pressure in my head, along with dizziness. The buzzing/ringing lasted maybe ten seconds, then went away, but my ears continued to do weird things for a long time after, i.e. clicking noises, ringing, etc. And the pressure in my head. It's just hard to describe, but my head just felt, pressurized and I couldn't figure out if I was being a hypochondriac or if there was really something wrong with me. I would get nervous and think I had some disease where I was going to go deaf or that I had a brain tumor or something. And I was having stomach problems all the time. I went to my doc, and I got an MRI and a CT scan and some gastric system test where I had to drink some nasty stuff, and then an ultrasound, and they did an EKG, I got chest xrays, and then I went to an ENT and they looked at my ears and did xrays, and no one found ANYTHING and I was so monumentally embarrassed because my docs probably all thought I was some hypochondriac wasting their time.

Then, late in the first term of my freshman year, it's like everything just caught up with me. I just felt really sick one morning and didn't go to school or work, and then I felt so tired, just exhausted, and I ended up basically sleeping on my couch for a week and missed work and school. I couldn't do anything the exhaustion was so bad. I would have these dizzy spells (along with the ear problems previously mentioned), and sometimes feel like passing out for no apparent reason. I would also have the hot and cold flashes I mentioned earlier, and tingling sensations. I also had OCD issues, and I would have these thoughts, and I had this horrible feeling that I was a bad person. I couldn't shake the feeling that deep down I was just a horrible person. Anyway, I had these heart palpitations and chest pains, and I would feel like I couldn't breathe, and I felt extremely sad and scared, and I looked on the internet at my symptoms and convinced myself that I had heart failure or cancer or something and I guess I let my imagination run away from me but I started to honestly think I was going to die, or that I had some debilitating disease or I was gonna lose my hearing or something. One doc put me on these water pills (for the ear issues and dizziness, I think; I never did quite understand what they were for), which had a bit of a placebo affect I think, because I felt slightly better, but in the end he never knew what, if anything, was wrong with me. Went to my regular doc, got some blood tests, etc., but of course nothing was found.

So, the next week I managed to force myself to go back to work and school, and things got a little better, day by day. I was far from happy, but I was making it through by just taking things an hour, or a minute, at a time. By the next spring, I was still having panic attacks and anxiety problems so I finally got up the courage to talk to my doc about that. She put me on Zoloft and Klonopin, and I have been on them ever since, and they have been a tremendous help. I continued to have my weird symptoms for awhile, but the meds helped me worry about them less, and eventually they mostly went away. I am still socially anxious and get a knot in my stomach and get all tense and shaky when I have to go to some social function, but at least I am able to do it, whereas if I had kept going like I was before I probably never would have been able to do anything. The pills didn't "cure" me or make me happy, but they did, and do, enable me to function in a way that almost resembles a "normal" person, most of the time. I think the affects are starting to wear off now, like maybe I'm getting used to the pills, but in the beginning they were really a life saver. I tried seeing a psychologist for awhile a couple of years back, but she really didn't help much and she was too expensive. Plus I was embarrassed to tell my family because they didn't understand. I would like to attempt to get off the pills now but I tried that once before and it didn't turn out too well so I'm a bit afraid.

Anyway, for the longest time I thought I was some kind of weirdo; that no one else in the world could possibly be feeling the way I do. I mean, what kind of person gets nervous about going to the movies, or about making small talk or whatever?! Then I got online, and found sites like these, and I can't even describe how much of a relief it was just to know I wasn't alone.

I don't know if I prefer being alone, or I just think I prefer it because I have so much experience with it. I don't particularly like most people because I'm not a good conversationalist; IMO, most people talk too much, just to hear themselves talk. I'm always socially awkward and I don't know what to say, and I have a feeling that I make other people uncomfortable. Every job I've ever had, I didn't fit in. I always got the feeling others thought I was weird. In fact, my last boss used to refer to me as "quiet girl". He wasn't a mean guy or anything, I guess he just thought it was funny, but it kind of ticked me off. Now I've become kind of cynical and depressed about humanity in general, for many reasons.

Anyway, I got laid off from my job a few months ago, and now I am really struggling. I can't find anything I'm qualified for, and for some of the positions I think I could do, they always want a "people person" or someone with "good communication skills". That is just not who I am, and I don't know what to do. And I've blown the few interviews that I have managed to get, and I'm feeling pretty depressed. Plus, 'networking' is so important to finding a job these days, and I don't know how to even begin to attempt that. I don't know anybody, I don't have any friends anymore. Every time a potential relationship comes along I end up pushing the person away. I've never been on a date, and I'm 24 freakin years old. So, basically, I'm feeling like a huge loser and failure right now. I'm a college graduate, and I worked so hard and struggled so much, but I was proud when I finally got that degree, and now it's like it's worthless and it all meant nothing, because in the eyes of the extroverted culture we live in, my "personality" does not measure up. I guess that's why I'm feeling so cynical, as mentioned earlier.

I'm trying not to fall into that pit of feeling sorry for myself, because I know that will only make things worse, but it's hard to keep a positive attitude when nothing in my life is going the way I always hoped and imagined it would. There are so many things I want to do, so many things that I'm interested in, but I'm starting to lose hope that any of these things will come to fruition. I never made any friends in college, never went to any parties, and I lost the few "friends" I had in high school, so now I'm alone. And I just do not know what I should do.

OK, if anyone read all the way through that, thank you x 1000! Feels good to have a place to come and vent. Thanks for reading!:) ]]> The First Step yellowhammer http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hello-76868/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hey-everyone-76866/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 07:12:40 GMT Hi my name is Joe.

I'm a freshman in college. (Univ of Pittsburgh) I like sports and my major is business management with a minor in econ.

So about me.

I think I've had SA since my junior year in high school. I haven't really done anything about it. At my school, the phone number for the counseling center is all around. All I have to do is make a call and I can get an appointment.

It's always been my dream to just "flow" with people. Even when I was younger in middle school, before I had SA, I wanted this. I wanted to be a socialite, a comedian, something like that. Maybe I want this to prove to myself that SA is below me and I can be the person that I want to be. I know that I could eventually become someone like that with practice (I'm very witty and funny when I'm by myself or my few very close friends), but social anxiety prevents me from having the courage to do this in public.

Lately, I image living by my myself on the ocean somewhere and trying to become self-actualized through years of thinking and introspection. Maybe this is because I'm trying to avoid my problems with SA.

The two girlfirends I've ever had each broke up with me within two months. I know this is because of my social ineptitude, no matter what bull**** reasons they told me. The one even said to me "you never talk when we're with my friends."

I'm terrible with small talk, I never raise my hand, I keep answers as short and un-opinionated as possible when I have to.

I'm worried that SA is going to interfere with my career in business, as business is part academics and part networking with other professionals.

I apologize if anything is confusing to read, my computer shut down when I was in the middle of writing this the first time.

Well, thats me, hope I get to talk to a lot of people on the forums ]]> The First Step pittfan624 http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hey-everyone-76866/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hi-forum-people-76851/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:46:39 GMT I've suffered from very severe social anxiety most of my life . It seems unreal but it actually made me reclusive for a number of years. I wouldn't go ANYWHERE. Almost all of my teenage years. I did home schooling etc. and have had no social life or any life for a very long time now. I'm sure i don't have to explain to everyone here what i feel when i go into socializing places.
Now at 21 , i'm finally taking action so i don't lose any more of my life..
I'm getting back into socializing and boy is it hard. It's painful to say the least. People can be really cruel to a quiet person so i'm learning to stand up for myself. I feel like i missed out on some aspects of how to be socially because i quit during the formative years. But if i give up then it's back to everything horrible but safe feeling-y again. Also i'll have to start from scratch again. It's really hard and i do have my family who support me. I wouldn't be alive today if it wasn't for them. I need to know there are other people also going through this so i looked for forums. It made me feel a lot better..
I regret letting it get that bad that i didn't have a social life of my own for around 7 years. But what's done is done and i'm here trying hard right now. Hopefully it will bring some results. Well.. I'm glad to find this forum and...hi!! ]]> The First Step stars http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hi-forum-people-76851/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hey-im-new-and-heres-a-little-bit-about-me-76820/ Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:37:37 GMT hey, my name is Erik and im 19. ive been dealing with social anxiety for as long as i can remember but havent been diagnosed with it. i dont know if... hey, my name is Erik and im 19. ive been dealing with social anxiety for as long as i can remember but havent been diagnosed with it. i dont know if its because of my s.a. but i can never think of what to say. i cant keep a conversation going even with my friends(i have no really good friends that i can talk to about anything other than a few people ive met online). everyone sees me as a quiet/shy kid. its holding me back from doing so many things and being who i am. the only thing that i have found that helps to take away my s.a. is smoking weed. it helps me to be social and be myself. all i want is to be happy and that is the only thing that helps. i also write poems and some raps to express my feelings.

thanks for reading and feel free to comment or message me and maybe we can become friends.

i need someone who i can talk to about anything ]]> The First Step TheLonelyStoner http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hey-im-new-and-heres-a-little-bit-about-me-76820/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hello-76803/ Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:10:32 GMT hey everyone. hey everyone. ]]> The First Step RobertInCypress http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hello-76803/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/sup-everyone-76801/ Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:43:37 GMT I thought I'd take some time and introduce myself.

I noticed my anxiety in my later years of high school, I was always a shy kid, so I didnt really think of it as being SA. I guess I was able to get through high school easily because I went to a very small school with around 600 kids, so basically everyone knew eachother. I also started to notice it when I went out with friends. I had a very uncomfortable tense feeling and I felt I was on a spot light. Once I got into college it hit me right in the face. I was often seperated from my friends, because we didn't have the same courses. It was a huge change for me. I was surrounded by people everywhere I went.It was so bad I couldnt attend some courses, so I was forced to get a 0. This semester im not even enrolled in school. SA also affected how I dressed, I wanted the least attention on me at all times. I was always staying home, while my friends are going out to parties and meeting people. I see everyone advancing with their lifes, while im stuck in this hole. My family and friends just thought I got really lazy and thats why I didnt go out anymore.

About 4 months ago, I broke down and I went to my parents for help. Im now doing CBT with a therapist, I had around 6 sessions now. I have to admit im feeling a lot better. I re-applied to my college and I got accepted, all though I am very anxious to go back.

This is the only place were I can talk to people that know what it feels like to go through SA, we can get through this together. ]]> The First Step xtensive http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/sup-everyone-76801/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hello-76788/ Thu, 19 Nov 2009 15:17:17 GMT Hi everyone. Social anxiety controls my "life" and it's nice to have the chance to talk to other people who know what it is like. Looking forward to talking to some of you. :) ]]> The First Step Siick http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hello-76788/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hi-76762/ Thu, 19 Nov 2009 04:24:01 GMT Hi. I'm Tonia I've had SA at least since I was 12 and I've always been shy. I also have a past with extreme depression. In high school I started making progress but after I got married and had kids I started having my husband do things that would make me even a little uncomfortable and I feel like I'm worst of now then before.
Now my marriage is on the rocks and I realize how much i depend on him, I don't work, drive, or leave the house without him (unless I'm taking my daughter to school) he makes almost all important calls for me, and he really doesn't understand why I'm this way and is resenting me and thinks i'm lazy.

I've always had an extreme fear of calling people except my mother and husband and that makes it hard to find a job, keep up with friends and family, make doctors appts really any thing ...
I have no friends and use my kids as an excuse to not go out.

I go to church, have been going to this one for a year and have been wanting to make friends but I never go to any social events out side church, and when I try to talk to someone new I freeze and don't have anything to say and feel stupid about something i said or didn't say.

Now I'm trying to regain my independence and build my self esteem & confidence. ]]> The First Step tonia198 http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hi-76762/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hello-everyone-76749/ Thu, 19 Nov 2009 01:42:37 GMT My name is Meggie, and I'm new here.
I've had social anxiety my whole life. My therapist believes, based on what I've told her and what my parents have told, that I had selective mutism as a child; she thinks that is the cause of my very severe social anxiety.
I'm currently in college, returned from my internship a few months ago. My boyfriend and best friend both just graduated recently, and so I'm now alone. Because of my anxiety, I haven't made any friends and have returned to my depression.
I just started therapy for my social anxiety. (I'd been in therapy before. However, they were always more concerned with my "other" problems and seemed to think the social anxiety was less important. In my opinion, the other problems were caused by the social anxiety.) I'm hoping that this time, the therapy will help me even a little bit. ]]> The First Step Miss Meggie http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hello-everyone-76749/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/a-very-long-introduction-76741/ Wed, 18 Nov 2009 23:12:05 GMT Almost my "anxiety" life story, if you have the stamina to read it!

Here I go...


Growing up I was very shy and introvert. I cannot remember this but apparently I did not talk to my teachers when I first started school, I had a dislike for them – So my mother taught me how to read and all the fundamental skills. I slowly plodded on through school. As I got a little older, the age range where I can remember, I still had a dislike for virtually all my teachers. I had, and still have, a very strong dislike of any criticism – It really annoys me. This of course happens all the time at school, so it goes a long way to explain my dislike for teachers. Criticism was especially frequent for me as I would almost completely avoid doing any work, or completing any homework, I’d always keep putting it off until the last moment then just not bother doing it. I considered myself intellectually superior to my teachers, so the idea of them giving me homework or setting my tasks to do just didn’t seem right. This resulted in me not being very popular with any of my teachers, and constantly in detention. I’d slowly work my way down to the bottom sets in all subjects. Yet any time there was any standardised (excuse the ‘s’, I’m British) test I would absolutely ace it without doing any preparation at all and I’d be back up to the top sets again – With lots more homework I’d never attempt! I had no idea how I did this, perhaps whilst daydreaming I was leaning subconsciously, although the vast majority of test questions I found to be just a matter of common sense. Apart from seeming to have certain twitches, such as having to do a very massive enthusiastic blink of my eyes each time I blinked normally, and only having a single ‘real’ friend, I didn’t really seem to have any problems at first. I never used to sleep well; I always used to wonder how everyone else could seem to fall asleep so easily whilst I was just lying in bed. In primary school I even had to stand up in front of the entire assembly and deliver the reports of chess games we played (I was captain of our ‘B’ Chess team, playing chess for the school is the closest I got to doing any homework!). I managed this fine. Then I believe at the age of around 13 some more strange behavior started to develop.

After we got our first dog my parents would emphasise the need to not let him lick our faces, and to always wash our hands. This was to avoid getting worms which they said could make you go blind, a bit of a scare story to encourage us not to be to unhygienic with the new dog. Nothing wrong with any of this, to a rational child! It worked a bit too well on me, I was obsessed about going blind although I can only really remember worrying about it at night. I used to lie in my bed unable to sleep, worrying about closing my eyes as it might be the last time I would ever see. I remember my mother coming up to me one night and saying “You look like you’re about to cry” and I did indeed start balling and telling her “I didn’t want to go blind”. I cannot remember if I elaborated on why I thought I’d go blind, so looking back on that she might well have assumed (especially at that age) that I was up to something else that (as per the old wives tale) would cause blindness! She must have said some comforting words, I can’t recall now, but my obsession slowly went away. It sticks in my mind as one of the three times I can actually remember crying.

I always remember being unusually troubled by horror movies and things of this nature, although it never stopped me watching them. I would get very paranoid at night about these various things coming to get me if I ever closed my eyes, so I used to try and stay awake to keep an eye out. I also used to tuck up inside my duvet tucking it under my feet as to not leave a gap at the bottom. A habit I still do today. I’ve always had a weird feeling of being watching or secretly followed by someone or something I cannot see.

A few years passed, I was still not very good at going to sleep but everything seemed okay up until I reached the age of 15. We were living in an old farmhouse at the time, I can always remember being cold all the time and in my room I used to whack up the electric heater on full costing my parents a small fortune. One day at school, one of our science lessons ended and everyone was packing up and I vomited everywhere. I went to the sick room and sat there with my head between my legs for a while and then I felt better, so off I went to lunch to play (or more likely watch) football. When I got outside to the playground I got quite a lot of stick from the other boys about throwing up, I felt reasonable okay for the rest of the day and then home I went.

Next day I feel terribly sick and faint when I get up, I think I was allowed a few days off because of it, but then it kept going and going, each day was the same. Once I was back at school for the next few weeks I’d be feeling faint and ill all day long, often I’d think that I was about to throw up so I’d ask to leave the classroom – Or I’d ask to leave to go the bathroom and just sit in there for a while (as long as I thought I could get away with). I never threw up, I just intensively felt like I would do so. Almost as suddenly as it came, it seemed to pass again and I felt fine. I thought at the time it was rather odd, maybe I’d just be ill with something I really couldn’t shake.

More time passes, I start college, I feel really sick in the mornings when I’m travelling to college on the train and this usually continues until maybe 11am, now looking back I always remember feeling sick in the mornings for as long as I can remember, but apart from that I felt fine. When we used to go to college events like night clubs I’d go along, I’d feel quite uptight and I’d never be able to drink a lot due to butterflies, but I didn’t think too much of this, I’d always been a shy person. I’d been making friends at college and after a while managing to have a big cooked breakfast in the morning (something I’d not be able to do before); I felt no stress at all. My stomach was great. I made more friends than I’d done before, I went out to parties where I met the girl I’d later marry. I went to pubs, nightclubs, I’d be drinking a lot, no butterflies to stop me, I’d get totally drunk and I’d be fine about being out, not anxious at all. I even went on a college trip to Paris with my girlfriend by ferry, the waves were heaving and so were just about everyone else on the boat, but I was sat there with a bottle of wine in each hand happily supping away. I look back at this time now and I just cannot believe it was me. I was just so normal. I’d passed my driving test; I was now free of the train. All the load had just come off of me, I didn’t have to work as my parents paid for everything. ]]> The First Step longtermanx http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/a-very-long-introduction-76741/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hi-76735/ Wed, 18 Nov 2009 21:34:38 GMT Hello everyone my name is Susan and I am new here. Have had SA ever since I was little and have struggled with it ever since. Some days are better... Hello everyone my name is Susan and I am new here. Have had SA ever since I was little and have struggled with it ever since. Some days are better than others. Was looking for a support group and came across this one. ]]> The First Step Susantr http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f25/hi-76735/