I had a revelation the other day:
I say I have SA because its a good excuse to avoid social situations and to avoid being weak.
for example, when I have to fight for my rights against someone, I dont. My justification for that my SA prevents me. cause thats less hurtful than knowing im weak.
when I want to make friends or form relationships, I don't. my justification is that I have SA , so
"I can't have a fun conversation cause i have sa"
I also use laziness alot.
"Im too lazy to go out and meet people, Im too lazy to put the effort in to conversation"
but the thing is, it does hurt and there is painful anxiety to do these things! theres no doubt about that. BUT avoiding the real problem is not the answer.
so Im just gona face the real issue here! and that is that I am weak socially! I am weak compared to all these extroverted people i see.
so when someone asks: "Why so quiet?"
my response: "cause Im weak, but I dont wanna be, so lets talk
"