[Holly Short]

Originally Posted by emj1995

I didn't expect to find any other homeschoolers on here either. Are you homeschooled because of SA? I've been homeschooled all my life and I have soon to be 6 brothers and sisters.

I've been homeschooled all my life, too. It's not because of my SA, but I'm pretty sure I couldn't deal with going to a mainstream school. Being around other people for six hours every weekday? No way. Not to mention the amount of anxiety it would cause me to have to have assignments graded, sit exams, and all that.

I have seven brothers and sisters, so our house is pretty crowded. We're actually having an extension built at the moment; a second storey with another bathroom and three more bedrooms. Do you have enough space at your place?

I haven't actually been diagnosed, but it's pretty obvious with all of the problems I've been having. I've actually had them as long as I can remember.

Yeah, me too. I've never even seen a doctor about it.

Have you ever told anyone about your SA? Only my parents know, and my mom and dad don't really understand, although they try. I think my dad just thinks that I'm really shy because I've never really done a lot of social stuff.

Everybody I know thinks I'm just a bit shy. I've never told anybody how bad it really is. I don't plan to, either, because I'm too afraid of being judged or teased, and there's nobody I trust enough to tell anyway.

I even have problems ordering a meal at a resturaunt or paying for something in a store.

Ugh, I hate restaurants. I'm a bit of a fussy eater, so I'm always afraid I'm going to order something, not like it, and have to order something else. I also get really paranoid about people watching me eat when I'm in a restaurant.

Shopping is the worst for me, especially clothes shopping. I'm always worried people will see the clothes I have and think they're ugly or judge me in some way.

I'm not too bad when I shop alone (this is one area where I've really improved recently), but I can't bear to shop when I'm with other people. I'm always terrified that my fellow shoppers will judge me because of the things I buy.

Plus, the only place to go shopping is a huge mall, and there's tons of people, so I only do my shopping online usually, or thrift stores, which isn't so bad because I love the clothes there way better than any brand name store.

I love thrift stores, too! I agree that the clothes there are usually nicer, and they're cheaper too. Thrift stores are also a great place to find books.

When I was younger I thought I would grow out of it when I was a teenager, but when I turned 14 I was like, okay, something's gotta be wrong here. This can't be normal.

People still tell me that I'll "grow out of it". I always wonder when they think that's going to happen. When I'm twenty? Twenty-five? Thirty?

I really hate it, but honestly, I don't know what it would be like to not have this problem. My friends don't have a problem with it, and I've never told them about my problem, but it's just so weird to watch them go through their normal daily functions without any worry or problems. I don't even know what it'd be like.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like. It seems like it would be so nice not to have to worry about this kind of stuff all the time, but then again, I worry that if I did change I just wouldn't be myself any longer. I'd change so much, become so completely different, that nobody would really know me anymore.