Hey, my name's Emj and I'm a homeschooled Christian 14 year old. I haven't been diagnosed with social anxiety, but about a year or two ago I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, which seemed to go away, but recently I've been having a problem with not being able to do things. I go to church and I'm constantly worried someone is gonna think I'm stupid, or my dad will ask me to fill up the car with gas while he goes in to get something and I just freak out. I've actually cried when my mom asked me to go into Mcdonalds to get a burger. I feel so stupid and like a little kid.
When I was 12 or so I started freaking out whenever I had to leave my mom. I had to quite my dance lessons and I could barely go to youth group because I was so scared to leave my parents. I felt really weird because I couldn't figure out what in the world was wrong with me.
When I was 13 I had some trouble with depression, and I'm still dealing with it, although not as bad as before.
I've almost always had a problem with social stuff, but that was because I was shy. It's normal to have a fear of something you've never tried, but I would think it would go away once you got used to it, but for me, it never does.
When I was 13 I started volunteering at my local library and helping a lady I know with washing milk bottles, and I would cry all week and be scared and nervous and sick thinking about it. It made my life miserable.
Recently it's gotten worse because I have more things I need to do. My dad had me fill up the car with gas, and sign my name on something (I'm always worried it'll look dumb...) and a bunch of other stuff like that. Sometimes I just freeze up for a minute when stuff like that happens, or when I'm asked to pray out loud in church. I've never been able to speak up and ask questions because I'm too afraid.
It's horrible, and I guess I'm just looking for someone around my age who can relate and would like to just talk about it with me.
I always feel embarrassed because I think that I'm too old to feel like this, but then I found out what social anxiety was, and I looked at my past, and I realized it might not be my fault that I'm always feeling like this.
Thanks for reading this. I guess it got a little long... lol I'm just looking for some friends.
-Emj