Okay, I've thought about this some more. I finally realize after all these years that the antidepressants do in fact keep severe depression at bay for me. But I also think I'm overmedicated. I'm on lexapro, wellbutrin, and provigil. It's really insane. And on top of it I take all these crazy supplements that don't even help. I think my real problem is I'm trying to treat the effects of overmedication (numbness) with more medication and drugs which is ridiculous if you think about. Of course I've never been able to think about because I've been so drugged until now.
I realize I can't go off everything all at once but I'm going to make an appointment with my psychiatrist and let him know what I plan to do.
I feel very similar to you, kurt. The only real difference in opinion I have is... you say you never know what a medication will do until you try it... while I always used to believe that, I've now come to realize that that's not actually true for me. These meds are so powerful that they can actually make you lose insight into personality changes that they have caused in you. It's the same thing as when someone starts taking heroin and everyone else notices the changes except the person who's doing it. I never actually thought SSRI's were powerful enough to do that but they are. SSRI's are not going to kill you but they can change you and make you forget who you used to be.