Sounds to me like your problems run deeper than what CBT could fix. Have you thought about long term therapy? Although that is probably the most difficult thing to stick with.
In terms of the simply learning what is the most acceptable thing to say/ behaviour I totally know what you mean. I have done that for quite a while and it works but you loose yourself along the way really. Not sure where to take things from here sometimes. Is this it? I still dont feel like I am me really, like I am living my life. Not really.