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Biological/social causes behind shyness and social anxiety

28K views 23 replies 16 participants last post by  Dovakhiin 
#1 ·
Going onto 34 very soon. I have suffered for the most part of my life from severe shyness and generalised social anxiety. My conditions are chronic, intractable and have proven to be life-debilitating.

Because I know there are a lot of different opinions as to how shyness/social anxiety comes about therefore I want to talk about (1) the biological and (2) social reasons behind life-destroying generalised social anxiety and severe shyness of other people. This is by no means a complete explaination but it does offer some interesting information for people who are interested and looking for some possible explaination for their shyness and social anxiety problems.

(1) BIOLOGICAL ASPECTS OF SEVERE SOCIAL ANXIETY AND SEVERE SHYNESS.

Most people think that learning accounts for all: that social anxiety and shyness are the result of years of negative learning and of a poor self-image. It is true that learning is VERY important in the development of social anxiety and shyness. But I believe that biology/genes (temperament) play a MORE important role in the development of severe and life-debilitating forms of social anxiety and severe shyness than does social learning.

There are two important biological factors that are crucial for one to be aware of in order to understand how severe, chronic and stubborn forms of social anxiety and shyness come about. The first is something known as INTROVERSION, and the second is known as INHIBITION (emotionality). Being born with BOTH of these things sets the stage, I believe, for a particularly vulnerable or possible lifetime of chronic, intractable, and life-debilitating social anxiety and shyness. I say "possible" because one does not need to develop these conditions even if they are born with such biological substrates (see "social reasons for social anxiety and severe shyness").

I was born with high levels of introversion and high levels of inhibition; the genes which would place me in the first quadrant of the "Eysenck cross of inborn temperament". In other words I was born with a shy, anxious and introverted temperament.
Being someone born with a high level of INTROVERSION I am much more easily aroused when I am exposed to socially threatening stimuli, due to higher levels of activity and arousal in my nervous system (basic explaination). Therefore I am able to condition (learn) inappropriate emotional and anxiety responses all too easily; and have a greater difficulty in curing such anxiety responses compared to ambiverts and extroverts. If I was highly extroverted I would have much less activity and arousal going on in my nervous system. I would usually want to and feel like I need to be around others in order to stimulate my under-aroused nervous system (basic explaination).
So as an introvert it takes a MUCH LESS amount of subjectively perceived socially threatening stimuli in order to arouse my autonomic nervous system to a state of anxiety. If I was an ambivert or an extroverted I would need a larger amount of threatening social stimuli in order to arouse me to a state of anxiety.
Interestingly as an introvert I have been found to have low amplitude and high frequency alpha waves (brain waves) which is typical of high arousal. If I was an extrovert I would have high amplitude and lower frequency waves which would indicate lower levels of arousal.

Now on top of being born with a high level of introversion I was also born with a high level of "inhibition".

Emotionality is the physiological component of anxiety such as elevated heart-rate, rapid breathing, etc. As a person born with a high level of inhibition (AKA, high emotionality/low anxiety threshold/low autonomic arousal thresold), these reactions of my body tend to be significantly more unstable, more easily aroused and less easily stopped than if I was born with a low level of inhibition (low emotionality).
This INBORN low anxiety threshold makes me experience anxiety more frequently, more intensely, and more painfully than if I had a medium or high anxiety threshold. Also I experience anxiety more quickly upon initial presentation of whatever stimulus I have LEARNED to associate with anxiety.
Before I became severely shy and developed severe generalised social anxiety (which is life-debilitating, and life-style restricting) I must have first LEARNED to associate the thought of informal, unstructred social interaction (my most feared kind of social interaction) with intense and painful feelings of anxiety. The low autonomic arousal threshold MUST have been there existing inside of me before such a thing could have been accomplished to any pathological extent like it has become.
Now the most important thing that readers of this post must understand is that I could have learnt to associate intense and painful anxiety with ANY stimuli. I could have become extremely fearful of ANY kind of object or social experience. My biology DOES NOT determine and cannot determine, specifically what will arouse the anxiety feelings and lead to avoidance behaviour. Such a thing MUST ALWAYS be LEARNED.
In the case of social anxiety and shyness, I have learned over time to associate the thought of informal social interaction and social assertiveness with intense and painful feelings of anxiety. The social anxiety/shyness is itself learned; the anxiety threshold is INBORN. Since my threshold is very low I condition anxiety patterns altogether too rapidly. If I had a high threshold it would take more time to learn chronic anxiety/avoidance behaviour patterns.

In addition to these temperamental traits playing a major role in the development of severe and pathological degrees of SA/shyness there is little doubt in my mind that those problems are rooted first and foremost in biochemical imbalances. Take bipolar, severe depression and schizophrenia for example. They are all caused by such imbalances as far as we know. So who is not to say that life-debilitating shyness/SA may also be caused by too little or too much of certain brain chemicals. This may certainly be true when one's past social experiences fail to explain one's current emotional problems (ie, shyness/SA).
For example, extroverts have been found to have very low levels of a chemical known as monoamine oxidase. Shy, inhibited people tend to have very high levels of this chemical in their brains. Monoamine oxidase inhibitor drugs have been used for the treatment of social anxiety. So there is further evidence that these problems are likely rooted in chemical imbalances. There is also evidence that emotionally sensitive introverts have an excess of dopamine activity in their brains.

To summarize, though shyness appears to indicate underactivity, it seems to be the result of overstimulation. Shy, timid and introverted people simnply cannot cope with the amount of information and so withdraw as a self-protective measure. This inability to cope is possibly a result from a low anxiety arousal threshold.
There are 2 main components of shyness and social anxiety which are inborn and genetically rooted. As an inhibited introvert I LEARN chronic anxiety behaviour pattens more easily, quickly, thoroughly, and for a much longer time than ambiverts and extroverted people who have higher anxiety thresholds. When a person has BOTH of these biological traits (introversion and a low autonomic arousal threshold) existing in them the biological foundation for the emergence of social anxiety/shyness is set BUT the full development of these problems is due to significant negative environmental influences.


(2) SOCIAL FACTORS IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF SEVERE SOCIAL ANXIETY AND SEVERE SHYNESS

There is little doubt that severe and pathological degrees of shyness and social anxiety is the result of years of negative learning and a negative self-image. A person receives virtually all of their social experiences from only 2 sources, (1) parents, and (2) the peer group. Therefore we can logically conclude that it is the negative social experiences during one's formative years with either the parents and/or the peer group which result in severe forms of shyness and social anxiety developing.

Everyone has what is known as a "social stimulus value". And it plays an highly important role in the development of chronic and severe forms of social anxiety and shyness during informal social interaction with others. The social stimulus value simply represents the extent to which a person is viewed by others as being attractive, desirable, and worthwhile.
The overall social stimulus value given off by a person (a child) is mainly determined by 5 factors, (1) the gender of the person being evaluated, (2) the internalized values and normative expectations, feelings, etc, of the father, mother and other significant family members, (3) the normative values, expectations, and the feelings of the same-sexed peer group, (4) norms and values of school officials and policy makers, and (5) norms and values of the community and nation.
A person's developing self-image and the likelihood of developing a case of pathological and severe social anxiety and shyness is a direct function of the goodness of fit of these 5 factors with a person's inborn social stimulus value of (1) native temperament, (2) physical attractiveness, (3) native talents and intelligence, and (4) inborn health characteristics and limitations. The most important of these values is temperament.
When there is a poorness of fit between those factors that person will likely grow into a pathologically shy and socially anxious person who has poor interpersonal skills and will be emotionally incapable of social assertiveness and taking social risks.
Just for an example, a person (let's say a young boy-child) with a very positive social stimulus value will typically be a very popular person at school. He is popular with many of his classmates. He has many friends and is well respected by others. He is never left out of any activities. He is not physically bullied by other children or verbally abused by others.
On the other hand, a young boy with a negative social stimulus value is not particularly popular with or respected by many of his classmates. He has a small group of friends but is not particularly well-respected by them either. Other boys sometimes pick on him and tease him. He is often left out of activites because other do not want to choose him. And there are other children who do not prefer to be seen with him as it may incure a negative perception of them from others.
Now all of this attention, whether it be negative or positive has a cumulative impact. The child who receives almost constantly positive attention from significant others will come to feel good about themselves and they experience little anxiety in asserting themselves with their peers and adults. Their interpersonal skills and social self-confidence increases significantly with each passing year as they mature in their socio-emotional development.
The child who receives a significant level of negative attention from his peers will likely not come to feel particularly good about himself. If this negtive attention (such as anxiety-provoking physical bullying, ignoring, negative evaluations, criticism, and rejection) continues, with each passing year his socioemotional growth is stunted or is slowed significantly and he is not given the chance to fully develop the interpersonal skills and social self-confidence that is absolutely required for well-adjusted and happy adult living.
So by the time the two boys reach the end of their school career they will each stand out in terms of interpersonal skills and social self-confidence. The boy who had recieved a lot of positive attention will have likely developed a positive self-image, he will feel good about himself and about others, he will possess good interpersonal skills and a level of social self-confidence which will lead to a happy and productive adult life. On the other hand, the boy who received very little positive attention will have likely developed a rather poor self-image, he will find it difficult to be assertive with others since he will not have developed the required social self-confidence, his interpersonal skills will be less than average, and he will likely be less well-adjusted and less happy as an adult.

Children have impressionable minds. They very easily internalize the labels which significant others give them. The labels a child receives from others will be recorded by the subconscious mind - whether it be good or bad. That child then becomes more and more like those labels that is given to him/her. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, what people tell us we are we begin behaving and thinking in accordance with what they tell us regardless if it is true or false.
Think of a child's mind like a fresh glob of clay. Each social experience shapes and moulds the clay (mind). Each experience adds up and slowly shapes the clay (mind). It is far easier to shape the clay while it is soft and pliable (when one is a child) As the clay dries out (the child grows) it becomes more difficult to shape the clay (mind). If there is a large amount of negative social experiences while the clay is still soft and pliable those experiences will add up and set permanently in shape a rather unpleasant mould (self-image) which cannot be very easily reshaped.
So it is when significant others react to and label a particular inborn biological trait as "undesirable", and is internalized, that attribute tends to stand out even more and becomes reinforced by those labels. In other words, the naturally shy, inhibited child (high introversion, low anxiety threshold child) tends to become even more shy and inhibited as he/she grows and that shyness becomes deeply and stubbornly ingrained and becomes a permanent way of life (a permanent mould in the clay).

Inborn temperament represents a kind of limit, just as one's innate intelligence represents a kind of limit within which a person must function throughout life. The philosophy that if you set your mind to something you can achieve it is to a large extent true but lets look at it from a different angle. Consider the following:
Virtually anyone could learn to play the piano. Some people pick it up rather quickly, some pick it up rather slowly and can't seem to go beyond a certin level. Most people however, are not at those two extremes. The point is the amount of time and effort that will be required by an individual into learning the piano. And so it is the same with temperament. These are "elastic limits". Everyone has a limit to which they can do something.
If a shy, introverted child is left to the ravages of an anxiety-provoking peer-group full of high energy, aggressive extroverts - which he/she is at polar-opposites from - that child's temperamental elastic limits will be made to be stretched beyond it's limits. In other words, shy and inhibited introverts should never mix with aggressive extroverts, in addition they are likely to end up being bullied and hazed. If such a child continues mixing with others whose temperaments are much different from their's that child will likely come to associate informal peer interaction with pain and fear because they are would often be exposed to anxiety-provoking situations and experiences.

This is by no means a complete list but these are some of the major social factors leading to a lifetime of shyness and social anxiety: (1) physical bullying and verbal hazing, (2) lack of warm, and caring emotional support from parents, (3) lack of emotional support from a peer group, (4) lack of a significant amount of social interaction with peers as a child, (5) lack of respect for one's emotions and feelings from others, (6) being exposed to painful rejection, criticism, negative evaluations, or ego-deflating comments from parents and/or peers or significant others, (7) exposed to corporal punishment and physical and verbal force to control behaviour from the parents, (8) not being accepted as one is.
Given the highly negative social experiences that many people with severe shyness/SA likely have gone through, it would be easy to conclude that genetic factors are in no way responsible for much. That conclusion would be quite false. Severe, pathological shyness/SA is a direct byproduct of a synergistic interaction between social learning AND genetic factors (and possibly one's karma from a previous incarnation). When a person's social stimulus value is at odds with the norms of the family and community, that person will typically not be accepted as they are. That person is far more likely to be rejected, criticised, negatively labeled, etc.
As I pointed out before, people who are highly introverted with very low anxiety thresholds condition much faster and more deeply than do ambiverts and extroverts with mid-to-high anxiety threshold levels. And it is for this reason that such past negative social learning experiences would have a much more adverse impact upon them than such experiences would have upon ambiverts/extroverts with higher anxiety thresholds. The introverted, inhibited person retains negative social experiences while the ambiverts/extroverts and uninhibited person is more easily able to "shake off" negative learning experiences.


To summarize, to understanding why some people lose their shyness traits while some retain their shy, timid and socially fearful behavioural traits throughout their whole life is likely due to the social experiences BEFORE the self-image fully crystalizes. If one develops a poor self-image that person will likely be shy and fearful throughout their whole life.
An important part of this post was to show that societal reactions can and do change the brain's biochemistry. An inborn attribute which is labeled as undesirable or desirable and is internalized will become strengthened and reinforced. The phrase "the rich get richer while the poor get poorer" is a good analogy. The self-confident get more self-confident while the shy and withdrawn become more shy and withdrawn.
Highly introverted, inhibited people can become well-adjusted adults if and ONLY if they (1) their feelings are respected, (2) they FEEL loved by parents, (3) they are accepted by others as they are, (4) they are accorded the needed emotional support from parents/peers and significant others.
 
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#2 ·
re: Biological/social causes behind shyness and social anxie

Longest post ever award! And I thought I was in the lead for that one.

I really feel for you, it sounds as though life is very unpleasant. What treatment strategies have you tried?

Good luck

Ross
 
#4 ·
re: Biological/social causes behind shyness and social anxie

Why haven't you done anything to help yourself? This all seems too fatalistic to me. You can't just throw up your hands and say "I'm incurable" because of some bad things that happened to you as a kid, or your genetic predisposition. People are very malleable creatures, constantly changing, adapting.

Sure, It's harder for us to be social, but if you really want to change, and put every ounce of your being into it, I believe it is entirely possible. But saying that there's no hope because of x,y, and z is a complete cop-out.
 
#5 ·
re: Biological/social causes behind shyness and social anxie

Most people bogged down with shyness/sa issues usually need someone to take them "by the hand" and FORCE them to socialize otherwise they will not do it. Their anxiety prevents them from taking the kind of action necessary in order to inprove the quality of their lives. And those shy people (like myself) also seemed to be bogged down by some kind of vague inertia which seems to keep them stuck inside a boring lifestyle.

And whether I have seeked help or not is beside the point. One of the main points of this post was to point out the fact that one's BIOLOGY is more important in the formation of shyness/sa on a pathological degree. I simply though it would be interesting to show how people become they way they are.

SOMEONE else turned this into a discussion about WHY I haven't done anything about my problem - not me. I NEVER said I was INCURABLE because I have this and this gene or had this and this experience. Whether I have seeked help or not is beside the point. It is up to a person to seek help NOT their past experiences or genes as you seem to say I am suggesting. I have not seeked any help which is my OWN choice.
 
#6 ·
Re: Biological/social causes behind shyness and social anxie

Pinzelhead said:
Going onto 34 very soon.
How come you say you're 32 in your other post?

Anyway, I think the reason why everyone is asking about why you haven't gotten help or tried to get better, is that that is really all that matters. I read your article, it's well written, well researched...but what is the purpose of writing that? Isn't it more important to focus your energy on having an enjoyable life rather than to describe the brain processes? I mean, don't get me wrong, the subject is interesting and I liked it, but I think that is the reason why people are asking you questions regarding your own life.

Most people bogged down with shyness/sa issues usually need someone to take them "by the hand" and FORCE them to socialize otherwise they will not do it. Their anxiety prevents them from taking the kind of action necessary in order to inprove the quality of their lives. And those shy people (like myself) also seemed to be bogged down by some kind of vague inertia which seems to keep them stuck inside a boring lifestyle
I think anyone with SA can relate to this.
 
#7 ·
re: Biological/social causes behind shyness and social anxie

I can assure you it is simply a typo. I thought some people would be interested or curious into maybe understanding better shyness and social anxiety. If I was seeking some advice on getting better I would have asked,.
 
#8 ·
Re: re: Biological/social causes behind shyness and social a

Pinzelhead said:
Most people bogged down with shyness/sa issues usually need someone to take them "by the hand" and FORCE them to socialize otherwise they will not do it. Their anxiety prevents them from taking the kind of action necessary in order to inprove the quality of their lives. And those shy people (like myself) also seemed to be bogged down by some kind of vague inertia which seems to keep them stuck inside a boring lifestyle.

And whether I have seeked help or not is beside the point. One of the main points of this post was to point out the fact that one's BIOLOGY is more important in the formation of shyness/sa on a pathological degree. I simply though it would be interesting to show how people become they way they are.

SOMEONE else turned this into a discussion about WHY I haven't done anything about my problem - not me. I NEVER said I was INCURABLE because I have this and this gene or had this and this experience. Whether I have seeked help or not is beside the point. It is up to a person to seek help NOT their past experiences or genes as you seem to say I am suggesting. I have not seeked any help which is my OWN choice.
Hey, relax, I was just curious, not trying to judge you. I get what you're saying though, it's tough to put yourself into social situations when you're deathly afraid of them.

Sorry if I came off as a bit abrasive, but I'm generally leery of scientific sounding articles that don't cite sources. If you don't mind, could you tell us where you got all this information?

We're all friends here, man. :group
 
#11 ·
re: Biological/social causes behind shyness and social anxie

THis was a great, interesting read. Very well written I must say because I read through the whole thing. It also makes complete logical sense that both genes and environment would play a significant role in SA. Thanks for posting this Pinzel, there should be more informative and creative posts such as this. :yes

(Naturally, the mob finds distaste and fear in intelligent posts such as you have written by trying to change the subject over to you, yet they generate so much sympathy for redundant whiny posts. This is an example of how humans by nature, distrust intelligence.)
 
#12 ·
re: Biological/social causes behind shyness and social anxie

Hi Pinzel

The drive to get help comes in different forms for different people. For many, its just reaching a certain level of pain they are no longer willing to bear, and either desperation or anger drives them to seek help. For some (lucky) others, a family member or loved one will help them into therapy.

I agree that when you are depressed, it is nigh on impossible to start any difficult exercise and you feel like you need to be whipped into it - that is the ultra-sucky thing about depression. You may also be 100% right about the roots and causes. That vague inertia you talk about comes from the fear of anxiety, on top of the lethargy that depression brings. The thought of having to go into the situation that scares you is so horrible that you avoid it, and having no energy doesnt help either. So anything we do at first must be small, manageable and easy.

Starting on getting better could take the tiniest form - you don't have to go to a doc or ask for meds. There are many excellent books with practical steps to begin to attack SA / depression. You dont even need to commit to doing the exercise - just say "instead of laying in bed and staring at the walls this weekend, I will read a chapter from my book". Even making the slightest effort to help yourself produces more motivation, and gives just that little kick to your self esteem.

Start very very small. Your brain has some interesting little tricks up its sleeve that you dont know are there until you feel them. That motivation comes AFTER starting to do something is one of the bigger secrets. Personally you know that I would recommend a CBT book, (the Gillian Butler one or David Burns one would be my choice) but there are many others including mindfulness therapy (a more spiritual based approach) and gestalt therapy. Use amazon if you are unable to buy it from a shop.

Getting better is a bit like reconditioning an old car. You take a wreck and start to work at the core - the chassis, putting new metal where the weakest points are. This can take quite a while and you need to know where to put it, so you might need the advice of a mechanic or at least a Haynes manual. You begin to build on the stronger chassis with new parts, cleaning up the rust spots and applying paint. You start with a wreck and evetually you have something that is driveable. You take it for a spin and realise the tracking is off and the brakes are crummy - so you go back to the garage and find out how to tweak them. Then out you go again, and hopefully you go in a straight line. You had to start somewhere, even though that rusty heap of metal in a the garage may have looked beyond hope. You could also buy a new car, but sometimes, that is not an option! Another secret our minds have is that we value what we work hard on - and when we help ourselves, we begin to value ourselves more too.

There are many people here at SAS that would love to see you begin to get better and will encourage you every step of the way - give us something to encourage!

Good luck

Ross
 
#13 ·
re: Biological/social causes behind shyness and social anxie

Anyway, I think the reason why everyone is asking about why you haven't gotten help or tried to get better, is that that is really all that matters. I read your article, it's well written, well researched...but what is the purpose of writing that? Isn't it more important to focus your energy on having an enjoyable life rather than to describe the brain processes? I mean, don't get me wrong, the subject is interesting and I liked it, but I think that is the reason why people are asking you questions regarding your own life.
Ever hear of sublimination and intellectualization. It has become one of the best ways of dealing with an almost impossibly stubborn personal problem.[/quote]
 
#14 ·
re: Biological/social causes behind shyness and social anxie

Pinzelhead said:
Now the most important thing that readers of this post must understand is that I could have learnt to associate intense and painful anxiety with ANY stimuli. I could have become extremely fearful of ANY kind of object or social experience. My biology DOES NOT determine and cannot determine, specifically what will arouse the anxiety feelings and lead to avoidance behaviour. Such a thing MUST ALWAYS be LEARNED.
In the case of social anxiety and shyness, I have learned over time to associate the thought of informal social interaction and social assertiveness with intense and painful feelings of anxiety. The social anxiety/shyness is itself learned; the anxiety threshold is INBORN. Since my threshold is very low I condition anxiety patterns altogether too rapidly. If I had a high threshold it would take more time to learn chronic anxiety/avoidance behaviour patterns.
I like your post!

I tend to downplay the biological factor myself. I'll be the first to admit though, this could be because I think I learned the vast majority of it in my case. I agree that shyness or SA to the degree of a disorder is always learned like you said and I agree that people can be born with low thresholds for anxiety but I wouldn't say that it is inborn, at least not completely. If high levels of anxiety solve the problems then like anything else it can be raised or lowered. So if your a kid and anxiety helps you avoid scary situations then you could lower your threshold to the point where you have panic attacks. Also this can all happen before you have memories of it in childhood, so when you are older it seems like you were born with it. I don't know if that is what you meant but if so then I misunderstood.
 
#15 ·
re: Biological/social causes behind shyness and social anxie

The difference between being a martyr to SA and being a victim to it can help break some cycles I believe. I had to look deeply into myself regarding this and found I was a victim and desiring change, and I was a victim for many years just waiting. Better late than never. But it can take a small step over the line to martyrdom I would imagine. I think it's one of the things that separates us on the boards and there is not likely to be an agreement on strategies to overcome the problems we have. Some people do not desire change, and that is okay, they can still talk about SA, that's their choice and their right. We just have to do for ourselves what we have chosen and want from our lives and work toward that goal.
Identifying defense mechanisms is important in this work and we are very good at using them for our survival.
 
#16 ·
It's to late and too long for me to read all of it now, but I will. I just wanted to say that I belive the biological causes are very strong, for me anyway. A lot of what I experience now may be conditioning, but have been the shyest person I have ever known since I can remember. My earliest memories are of hiding behind my Dad's leg when he would talk to someone on the street, and if the other person had a child with them I would be in hyper stress mode. Aged 4. That's a lot of conditioning to have learned by 4, all with no other cause than it's just the way I am.

I assume we fufill some purpose in human society. Maybe we should all be poets or something.
 
#17 ·
Correct me if I'm wrong, but how can a person raise or lower their threshold for anxiety when it is gentically inbuilt ?!!!
A person who perceives a situation as EXTREMELY frightening does not lower his/her threshold for anxiety in order to increase the anxiety reaction! The level of anxiety is based on how threatening that person perceives it to be. If a situation is perceived as extremely frightening the threshold is not lowered, only the anxiety reaction is increased.

Threatening situations are subjective. But lets say there are two children who see a situation EXACTLY as threatening as one another. One has a low threshold and the other has a high threshold. Which one would emotionally react more swiftly, intensely, prolonged, and painfully, the low or high threshold child ?
 
#20 ·
I believe its a social cause. I think people tend to use the Biological cause a lot to escape any sense of responsibility that they may have over their own problems so they blame it on the Genetic route. The fact is Anxiety and Depression are at its highest its ever been, and with the increased amount of attention of anxiety and depression through the media and what not it has made us led to believe that anxiety and depression are unacceptable, this in turn has made us feel this way towards our anxiety and depression and has made us place a lot of unnecassary focus and attention towards our "problems", which has only fueled it.
 
#21 ·
Hi :)

I find Pinzelheads post brave. Especially in this day and age that is all about 'you can do anything if you just set your mind to do it'.

Nowhere in his piece I see anything that points towards victimizing himself or others.

It is a very natural and inbuilt tendency of people to want to do something if they feel there is something wrong, unpleasant, irregular, something that bothers them and disrupts their life. Almost everybody wants to go into action then, and make the unpleasant thing go away. In a lot of cases this is a very healthy and effective way to make things better.

But this behaviour is not by near effective in all cases. In fact, it sometimes becomes a contraproductive and energy-consuming business. In the worst case, this approach can degenerate into a fight against yourself that will then just weaken you instead of making you stronger.

I do not feel that there is anything wrong in Pinzelheads approach. I mainly feel a quest in his words, a quest to accept himself just the way he (you are a 'he', aren't you?) is. And in that, I think, there is great power.

I think sometimes acceptance gets confused with apathy. But apathy is empty, whereas acceptance is empowering. My experience is that it is the beginning of truly taking responsibility for yourself, with respect for your own boundaries.

And it is not an admission of weakness, it is not 'taking the easiest way out', it is not 'hiding', it is not making yourself into a victim. In fact, acceptance is sometimes the hardest thing of all.

Have a nice day:)

NB: I stumbled upon this site when I was searching the internet on Hans Eyseneck and his theories about intro- en extraverts. Since I have coped with severe anxiety on almost every area in my life for more then twenty years now en fought it for a long time in all the wrong ways, which made me only more exhausted than I already was, I just felt a great need to respond.
I am happier not fighting all the time en trying to accept and, also very important, respect, myself as well as I can.

Because I am not a native English speaker and I do not live in an English speaking country, my language might contain a few mistakes. I hope that you will just ignore them en that you can grasp what I am trying to convey anyway.

NB2: Now I see the beginpost was started ages ago. So perhabs it was strange to respond so out of the blue as I did. Nevertheless, I'll leave it as it is. :)
 
#23 ·
its all in the mind, the mind controlls everything. ive heard a lot of ''experts'' say that the reason social phobics get anxious is because they have a more sensitive amygdala than most people.

but the thing to remember is what controls the sensitivity of the amygdala. its the unconcious beleifs that set of the amygala
 
#24 ·
Biological

I think that social phobia is caused by biological factors, to say that we are all blank slates who learn and respond to the environment, is too simplistic.
However people are born with chemicals such as dopamine , seratonine, endorphin etc. dopamine is responsible for happiness or pleasure. When a positive stimulus such as caffeine is taken, dopamine is given off as a reward, but if we keep taking caffeine the tolerance for dopamine builds up, therefore we have to have more of this 'drug' to satisfy our needs. In conclusion we become less sensitive to dopamine receptors. We need these dopamine neurotransmitters for social functioning. Therefore increasing these receptors such as exercising, eating anti oxidants, no porn/masturbation as they release dopamine and are rewarded with negative evaluation, no sugar or caffeine.
 
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