Originally Posted by kzz5
Hey everyone this is my first post but I have been browsing this site for a little while and have found some very good advice on dealing with my SA. I have come a long way this past year with my SA but I still find I struggle with some things. I read a post about taking your focus off of yourself and I have found this incredibly helpful with my SA. I find it easier to do basic things like not staring at the ground 90% of the time and actually viewing my surroundings.
One of my biggest hurdles that I am trying to overcome is eye contact with people. I can maintain eye contact very well when I am talking one on one with someone and my SA has gotten a lot better now and I can actually hold a conversation with someone. Now my problem is in a group environment.
I have been becoming really good friends with this group of people and I often find it difficult to participate in group discussions. I never know who to look at, I try to just look at who is speaking but for some reason I find it difficult to keep up in a conversation. I really wish my eye contact was just natural. I feel like I focus too much on it that I don't even analyze what is being discussed. I'm just wondering if anyone has any pointers for group discussions and participations.
I also started a new job and I find myself quickly glancing at people who walk by and glancing away which I feel is really making me look bad. I guess my main question is how can I make it easier to spend more time focusing outward instead of in? I would really love to see myself without this shell of shyness, I can see myself getting better but I wanted to get some more input. Thank you for taking the time and reading my post I appreciate any comments or suggestions.
I think you're just 'supposed' to look at who ever is talking, but scanning everyone is normal too. Basically if someone is talking at a particular moment, then everyone elses eyes are going to be on them anyway, and you can just look wherever you want for the most part. It's different from 1 on 1 where all the attention is on you and you have to maintain a certain amount of EC.