i'm really sorry you had to go through that! my first *real* interview for a job was when i was 23. i completely fumbled through it. i was so nervous, i heard ringing in my ears, and i had NO idea what i said. that place was so desperate they'd hire anyone, so i got hired. the job sucked! i hated it, but luckily i worked graveyards so there were only 12 people in the building.. all scattered. i stuck with it for 2 yrs because the thought of going to another interview scared the crap outta me, i got paid extra for graveyard, and working with 12 people versus 200 people was a huge plus.
i've had other interviews, and they were ALL scary. after *forcing* myself to do more (jobless, no one to support me), it got a tad bit easier. i was still completely nervous at my most recent interview, but i went in acting as though i didn't need the job. i convinced myself (prepared weeks in advance) to temporarily think that THEY were the ones who needed ME. i wasn't cocky about it though. after they were done, i asked them questions about dress code, sick time, how long the company had been in business, to make it look like i had done my homework on them and I was looking for a good fit for ME.. not the other way around. i won't lie, i was super nervous! but i forced myself to at least *act* like i felt that way. i did get the job. unfortunately i hate this one too, but am terrified to do another interview. i know though, that if i ever do have another interview, i can try to act the part.
i've been looking for alternatives and haven't found many. beware of online jobs that ask for $$ to apply-- those are all scams. i've been thinking of looking for some kind of warehouse job where i can be in the back. i love graveyards because i sleep while everyone else is out and about. that can be counter-productive for SA though, just depends on your goals i guess.
sorry for the ramble.