OK, thanks for the Welcome messages.
It's a long story, I hope I will not bore you.
I'm 20 years old. My problem is that I am extremely shy around girls and lately I started feeling uncomfortable aroung guys too. When I try talking to a girl, my voice changes, I can't control my mouth, my tongue, I start shaking, my heart starts beating very fast and I'm sweating. I've never had a girlfriend because of this. Around guys, I'm like quiet and mostly I listen than talk.I have problems talking in public. Most of the times I feel like everyone is watching me and judging me. When I walk on the street, its like I can't control my legs, I'm shaking, I'm sweating, I feel like everyone is watching me. Before going out, I think and overthink every possible conversation and try to make it perfect. I overthink everything.
Before going out, I feel a discomfort in my stomach that goes up to my throat and I feel like I will throw up. I always think that I'm inferior, and everyone is superior to me. I never worked in my life, I'm too scared to even looking for work. I don't have many friends, the only place I go is college. I don't usually go out.
It's like I'm cursed, I always ask myself "why me? what did I do wrong?". I thought many times: "what's the point of me living if I can't do anything? this is not life, it's pain".
I haven't been like this forever. Until 12 years old I was a completely normal kid, social, talkative. I had many friends, girls and boys. I don't know what happend, I had a shock or something that changed me, I don't remember such thing. I'm starting to cry right now when I remember how normal I was...
What do you think?